Asian Nazis

Japanese Nazis

Asian Nazis are found primarily in Japan, South Korea, Mongolia, and Philippines. Asian Nazis are like other Nazis only they are Asian. Imagine that!

Origin

Rasenshuriken used by the Axis during WWII photo courtesy 82d Airborne

Asian Nazism is generally regarded as having begun in Japan in lieu of sympathies with Germany's postwar struggles. Many Japanese Nationalists yearned for the day that the sunbeams could rise again to join central Europe against the Anglo-Chinese menace (thus, the evil plot between Volkswagen and Mitsubishi to destroy America's economy with cheaper, inhumanly efficient manufacturing).

The Tibet Purchase, the single largest land deal in the history of Nazi Communism where the Chinese bought Tibet from Spiderman, who had only just gained custody of it after beating Bonesaw in a steel cage match.

It is also mastubated by leading thinkers in the Nazi Party that the movement's origin goes back even further in a mysterious, mystical land called China, where it is said that the white and golden descended from extraterestrial reptilians after landing in their spaceshit to populate the Inner Earth to provide reams of Bullshit for New Age and David Icke to repeat over and over again (there is also a related, though highly disputed myth made up by Anglo-Chinese who claim that Asian race were exclusively these Communist Chinese aliens; and are in fact the same race described by Eric Von-Daniken who created the White man by genetically splicing their DNA with that of highly evolved apes. Thus: The Asians are gods, and the Anglo are their chosen people, who shall number greater then the stars of the Heavens or the sands of the Earth. Many traditional Nazis though consider such things to be Judaio-Christian corruptions, since we all know that we are all God, especially the lighter-skined "we's").

By the way, Ninjas and Samurai are totally frigging cool – probably the coolest type of people that have ever lived. They were not Nazis, but Nazis wish they were as cool as Ninjas and Samurai.

All of these are, indeed, generally true. The reality, however, is that Asian Nazism specifically began with Bjork (who kinda looks Asian, some say probably a Eurasian hybrid on meth) after founding her new empire in New Bjork City. It is said that she not only had a gigantic picture book of Mein Kampf, but also what she called an "Easy Bake Jew Oven" (which has recently been covered-up by Holocaust deniers trying to make Bjork look good by denying the existence of said ovens).

Her personal ideas, mixed with the above factors, where finally melded into the new phenomena of Asian Nazism, first taken up by the angry Japanese, then by the even angrier Koreans (who were already Nazis long before the term was even invented, some scholars, such as PJ O'Rourke, even going as far as to question whether the Koreans are truly Asian or not, based on their truly unique language), then taken to Mongolia and finally China, where it was finally sanctioned by the Ascended Masters allowing the Chinese to become the fabled and feared Nazi Communist Chinese.

A victim of Operation Orient: "... I don't know – I was sleeping. Then bombs were landing everywhere and people were choking ... but I do still remember the pink clouds that smelled like strawberries ..."

Characteristics

An Asian Nazi, waving heil to everyone

Asian Nazis have very interesting and unique features. The most obvious example is their intelligence and flawless skin. They are also armed with microwaveguns (think Mauser mated with an oven), many of which are mounted on giant HO models that, ironically, make Panzers look tacky.

Relationship to other Nazis

It seems strange but relations between Mongol Nazis and Aryan Nazis surprisingly good. In fact they often invite each other to fantastic parties, usually in Fascist South American countries or Wooded places in the American North-West for food, drinks, BDSM and spayed Latin whores (often dressed in spandex with exciting leather and rope accesories). Often ending the day with a science convention where they conduct exciting experiments with engines, robots, and cybernetics (usually performed upon some dumb as wood political dissenter, though some perform this on themselves too. Given new findings concerning one Karl Haushofer, it is possible that the Nazis where really some primitive form of Wapanese].

They are also all keen on starting youth groups who engage in many constructive after school activities such as art, fashion, sports, and listening to Rammstein. They also love their computers so much that they include them their lists of honored familial ancestors (computers who crash during Doom or MechWarrior are sent straight to Valhalla to be used by Ghengis Khan and Conan the Barbarian and their armies of Scythian Valkyries.

They both have a hatred of Eurasians, and often inform each other when when some are located in their respective hemisphere where they are apprehended and sent straight to forced labor camps in Euthenasia to make an honest living. Sticking to policy, both parties are to apologize to for the mishap and give compensation in the form of gold, or a free latex doll.

Did I say that Aryan Nazis and Mongol Nazis hate Eurasians? Well, this is actually only half true. In reality, Asian Nazis and White Nazis do like Eurasian Nazis (like Bjork), especially ones living in Eurasia (which is Commie-Nazi, and thus believes in the value of universal nationalism). Besides, most Nazis, Aryan, Mongol, or otherwise) are too dumb to really notice such delicate things anyway.

ein Ubervolk

Master plan

After receiving help by Asian Nazis, some rather smart White Nazis regarded them in high esteem, and agreed to acknowledge the natural parity of the Asian race. However, it is secretly known by the most learned within both that Asian and White people both actually came from common ancestors who descended from outer space onto the mountains of China. Some of these Nazis eventually saw that the Russian National Bolshevists already had plans for a pan-Eurasian world that would provide a safe haven for bromides. Thus, under National Bolshevism, some Asian Nazis and White Nazis, plan to create a new Eurasian race with large blue almond shaped eyes, straight blond hair, and wide faces with pointy chins and small mouths. So in essence, Anime is born!

Downfall

An Asian Nazi said the King of Laos' mother was a Myanmaraneseian.

See also

• His Holiness, the Dalai Lama
• Nazis
• Hyper Nazis
• Extraterrestrial Chinese
• Anime
• Bjork
• New Bjork City
• Power Rangers
• Eurasia
• Euthanasia
• BDSM
• Wapanese
• Chile
• North Korea

External links

• Video on YouTube
• National Socialist Japanese Workers and Welfare Party (Official site, I kid you not! I kid you frikken not!)
• Bjork's supposed Eurasian heritage
• This shit gets very weird.
• THIS IS WHAT ALL TOP NAZIS ACTUALLY BELIEVE!