Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/April 24

April 24: Regretting Eating Those Novelty Chocolate Easter Bunnies Day (U.S.)

• ∞ BC - Time begins, to the disappointment of trillions.
• 1353 - Badger maulings reach record levels in Europe.
• 1704 - The first regular newspaper is published in America: The Boston New-Letter, containing overly-opinionated columns and hyped-up headlines. Circulation soars.
• 1856 - The word chairman is introduced to the Oxford English Dictionary as "A person with a proclivity to stand sitting."
• 1862 - The American Civil War on spelling begins, the letter 'u' in 'color' being the first victim.
• 1995 - The most amazing child on earth was born, sadly, he was born in Croatia.
• 2005 - George W. Bush declares, "America is officially full," all immigrants rerouted to Nunavut.

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