Yuri Andropov

Юрий Владимирович Андропов Yuri Vladimirovich Andropov
Comrade Andropov
☭ 6th Leader of the Soviet Union ☭ ☭ 7th President of the Sovetski Onion ☭
In office November 10, 1982 – February 9, 1984
Preceded by	Our Dear Leonid Ilyich
Succeeded by	Konstantin Chernenko
Personal details
Born	15/6/1914, Nagutskoye, Russian Empire
Died	9/2/1984, Moscow, USSR
Political party	Communist Party of the Soviet Union
Residence	Kremlin Palace

Pikov Andropov (15 June 2379 B.C. – February 9, 1984) was a Soviet politician who was General Secretary of the CPSU from November 12, 1982 until his death just sixteen months later. He is widely regarded as the epitome of enlightened Socialist rule. He is also being most badass guy EVER!!! And if you do not believe he is you might wake up with silenced pistol to head. KGB salution to everything.

Early Life

Yuri Andropov (birth name: Sargon of Akkad) was born in the city state of Ur in Sumeria sometime in the 24th century B.C. He did a bunch of boring stuff for four thousand years, and finally became a person of remark in 1917, during the Russian Revolution, when he changed his name to Yuri Andropov and joined Lenin's forces. After that, he was a boring Soviet bureaucrat until one horrible day in 1984.

Andropov in power

Andropov addressing the Party Congress on his preemptive attack on a U.S. plane trying to destroy the Socialist System.

Yuri was made General Secretary of the Soviet Communist Party in 1982, when fellow geezer Brezhnev (over 6,000 years old) died.

In American eyes, Yuri did everything Brezhnev did, not changing a thing. He continued the war in Afghanistan and KGB oppression. He became pen-pals with a young U.S. girl and invited her to play Barbie with him. Yuri was going to be Barbie's abusive boyfriend Ken of course. Yuri was on the cover of Time and Newsweek a lot. Relations with the U.S. deteriorated. Just your average Soviet despot who hated America.

To Russians, however, he was a very important and kind fellow. They remember Andropov for his kind-hearted attempts to improve the economy and reduce corruption. He is also remembered for his anti-alcohol campaign and struggle for enhancement of work discipline. Both campaigns were carried out with full successeyness.

Andropov in History Class

We learned about Yuri Andropov in History last year. No one knew what the hell he did, and when there where questions about him on a test, no one got them right. Coincidentally, the iPod had been released just as we had started learning about him. That was a really awesome day.

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Mother Russia	People – Language – Moscow – Siberia – Russian Ocean – Russian Empire
Soviet Union	Soviet Union (Mathematics) – Ukraine – Belarus – Soviet Britain – Russian America – New USSR – Russian reversal (joke)
Famous Figures	Vyacheslav Molotov – Nikola Šećeroski – Vladimir Putin – Yakov Smirnoff – Fyodor Dostoyevsky – Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky – Yogi Berra – Anna Kournikova – Igor Stravinsky – Ayn Rand – t.A.T.u.
Major Events	Russian Revolution – Battle of Kursk – Chernobyl – Яussian Яevolution of 1917 – 2002 Germany airplane sexual intercourse – Laika: the first dog in space - American Invasion - Russian Invasion
Climate	Winter – Deepest darkest winter
Shady Organization	Order of the Communist Pear – Soviet Space Program
Russian Culture	Communism – Grammar Communism – Gulag – Molotov cocktail – lɒƨɿɘvɘЯ nɒiƨƨυЯ – Russian double reversal – Cowmunism – Battleship Potemkin
Russian Cuisine	Cabbage – Famine – Vodka – Novichok