User:Psl631/Main Page

From today's featured article

CaseOh (Celestial Anomaly of Stellar Enormity and Omnivorous Hunger) is a supermassive celestial object of indeterminate classification, predominantly suspected to be either a rogue star or a cluster of galaxies—or just maybe the interdimensional vortex first caught wind of in May 1998. Physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer famously theorised CaseOh to be supplied entirely by AC/DC (agglomerated/devoured comestible) power several months prior to his death in 2023, although other hypotheses regarding its increasing mass are widespread. CaseOh's exact mass is approximated to exceed 247 ronnagrams, and "clairvoyant" astrophysicists at NASA presume a supermassive black hole to thence manifest within succeeding decades. (Full article...)

Recently featured:

Archive · Vote for featured articles · Purge

In the news

Sesame Street finally exploits the fact that it's on HBO

That's a fucking excellent idea!

Editorial note: Fakelogo template
Sesame Street finally realizes it's on HBO (Pictured)
Beto O'Rourke puts finishing touches on 2020 Presidential concession speech
Roman Catholic Church canonizes Frosty the Snowman as a divine being
Studies show clinical depression at an all-time low
Trump news roundup: Plea deals, felonies, and a little girl dies in Border Patrol
Santa Claus now "probably about a four" on the Kinsey scale
Whirlpool Galaxy files restraining order against Neil deGrasse Tyson
Jeff Bezos caught stuffing old fat dude into his trunk
Trump releases abhorrent holiday stimulus package
George H.W. Bush dies: Best and worst of his life
Murphy Brown revival not cancelled, (Dan Quayle joke withheld in light of recent events)

UnNews Main · Archive

Did you know

... that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (Pictured)

... that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (Pictured)

... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography?
... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers?
... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
... that Uranus is a gas giant?

... that Margaret Thatcher (Pictured) died thirty years too late?

... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
... that this in not a DYK entry?
... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk?
... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?

... that Nelson Mandela (Pictured) was a cunt?

... that the White House is really off-white?
... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
... that Osama bin Laden is actually alive and well and hiding in your closet?
... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color?
... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?

... that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (Pictured)

... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
... that the butler did it?
... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?
... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
... tennis isn't just a game?
... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?

... that Oh My God! There's a Meteor Heading Towards Us? (Pictured)

... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?
... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
... that this sentence is incomple
... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
... that you should invest in chicken stock?

... that Malcom X absolutely loved Kentucky Fried Chicken? (Pictured)

... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians?

... that Joseph Stalin (Pictured) is the the real Man of Steel?

... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
... that the A-bombs dropped on Japan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize?
... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?

Archive · Suggest new entries

On this day

January 7: Black Karl Marx Day

698 - King Arthur has a white wine with his cottage pie instead of a red, the round table become concerned.
1608 - The settlement of Jamestown, Virginia burns down after a careless farmer leaves the smoking tobacco too close to the firewood.
1954 - The first demonstration of computer speech is performed in Georgetown University by an IBM machine, it says: suck it nerds
1959 - The U.S. Government sends Fidel Castro fifteen crates of the finest American cigars, which only look like live sticks of dynamite.
1989 - In response to allegations of class reductionism, the Democratic Socialists of America release the new and improved Black Karl Marx, now 40% more intersectional. (Pictured)
2012 - Pope Francis excommunicates the Vatican's fancy Pope throne in favor of a lame white chair, the peasants cheer, but God cries.
2017 - Black Karl Marx calls one of his female colleagues honeybun, is temporarily taken out of commission.