User:Cheddar Cheesia/Superbowl Mainpage

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, Superb Owl Sunday edition!, the future Hall-of-Famer that Peyton Manning still can't edit. Jerome Bettis has inspired us to work on 37,628 articles since opening in January 2005. Mike Holmgren has posted his XL Superb Owl gameplan for both teams to read before the game. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Sports | Games | Madden | Players | Owls | Commercials History | playbook | other gay American sports

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Today's featured article Misquoting Jesus is a 2005 book by University of North Carolina professor Bart Ehrman on the composition of the New Testament. Ehrman, a former evangelical Christian, argues that scriptural errors are so rampant in the gospels and Pauline epistles that it proves difficult, if not impossible, to determine the authors' original intentions. Upon publication, the book's assertion that many commonly accepted Christian stories, such as the woman caught in adultery, the "Johannine comma" and the Parable of the Windsurfers were added later created a storm of protest within conservative Christian circles. An almost immediate backlash began, with preachers contesting Ehrman's assertions that the bass guitar did not exist in first century Palestine, or that St. Peter did not, in fact, save Herod's Temple from the Romans with a breakdancing contest. (Full article...) Recently featured: Pikmin Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries April 13: National Falling Down The Stairs Day (United States) 1 AD - Jesus Christ and the Buddha form the seminal gangster rap duo, Shakyamuni and the JC. 1597 - The first Yo mamma joke: "Thy moth'r wast so bacon-fed those gents did need a tree to pierce her maidenhead." 1984 - Ingsoc releases minitrue-approved rap artist "Doubleplus Hardcore", is disbanded after recording song Fuck Tha Thoughtpolice. 1985 - The Space Shuttle Challenger is dubbed "Unexplodable" by NASA at a news conference. 1997 - Tiger Woods becomes the youngest player to win the Masters Tournament by getting a hole in one in every round that he has played. 2009 - Popular webcomic Homestuck gets created, eventually creates a fandom full of teen angsty emos that will doom the Internet for the rest of its lifespan. 2010 - EU demands cash from Iceland. Iceland sends ash, Europe buggered for weeks. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day amorphous Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge (Pictured) NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe) More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"? Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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