User:Cheddar Cheesia/Superbowl Mainpage

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia, Superb Owl Sunday edition!, the future Hall-of-Famer that Peyton Manning still can't edit.

Jerome Bettis has inspired us to work on 41,111 articles since opening in January 2005.


Mike Holmgren has posted his XL Superb Owl gameplan for both teams to read before the game.


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The Superb Owl XXXV.
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Today's featured article


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You are wasting this internet site's time. You should be writing something, but instead you are just sitting there, waiting for it to entertain you. You could even be the Time Magazine Person of the Year. Don't you have any sense of responsibility? How can you live with yourself? Think about all the times you've laughed heartily at some passing rejoinder in the forums, guffawed mightily at a clever turn of phrase on your talkpage, or even politely smiled at some article during your favorite Uncyclopedia program: HumorSearch. Don't you think you owe it to this wiki to put in at least a semblance of effort to return the favor? You should cease and desist all extraneous and benign activity and write an article.

Okay, that was incredibly rude, mate. Firstly, I think you should be the one writing the article, seeing as you are the one who bloody gives a damn. Secondly, by caring about what I do with every second of my precious time spent on Uncyclopedia and forming an essay on what I should be doing, you have wasted more of the common people's time than I could ever imagine. Thirdly, how can you live with yourself? You think yourself funny, don't you? Well I don't. You are an idiot and have problems. Bugger off.

What? Who says "bugger" besides Captain Price? Probably some British creeper. British creeper, whoever you are, you need to "bugger" off, you filthy "wanker"! (Full article...)

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Selected anniversaries

I can see a worm there.

February 7: Shit! I Forgot My Lines... Day

  • 1599 - Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio, a man of uhh, shit. Line. Line, I need the—
  • 1600 - A man of Infinite Jest. Of most excellent fancy. Wait, asshole.
  • 1601 - Yeah, got it. Ahem. I knew him Horatio, a man of infinite jest. Of most fancy—Fuck—of most excellent fancy.
  • 1602 - If this happens on the night we'll just use the alternate.
  • 1603 - How about you go fuck yourself, I'm the artist around here, you just tell people where to move on stage.
  • 1604 - Whatever, Kenneth Branagh, you do whatever you fucking want.
  • 1605 - I don't need you, nobody needs you, I'll make my own fucking lines. I'm the fucking bard. Motherfucker.


Archived Anniversaries

Word of the day

nadir
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.

In the news


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Too bad you can't customize this in the original.

Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein FilesWinter Olympics

Recent deaths: The MetroCardStranger Thingsthe other Black guy from John Carpenter's The ThingBob WeirScott AdamsKianna UnderwoodBuffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenureDenver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons • UncyclopediaCatherine O'HaraLamont

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!!

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • WeedDick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce


More Current Events at UnNews News


Did you know...

  • ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?

Do you care...


Read More

Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month

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David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.


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If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.


Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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