User:Cheddar Cheesia/Superbowl Mainpage

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, Superb Owl Sunday edition!, the future Hall-of-Famer that Peyton Manning still can't edit. Jerome Bettis has inspired us to work on 41,074 articles since opening in January 2005. Mike Holmgren has posted his XL Superb Owl gameplan for both teams to read before the game. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Sports | Games | Madden | Players | Owls | Commercials History | playbook | other gay American sports

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Today's featured article Burj Khalifa Imagine a big tower. A really really   really big tower that has little towers growing out of it Just the size of... the size of God's feet. How on Earth can you compete with that?   It just doesn't make sense, man!!! (Full article...) Recently featured: You Are In Debt Tesco Aragorn Donald Duck Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries December 11: FIVE BIG BOOM DAY! (Worldwide), Try Communism Day (Lancashire, U.K.) 1229 - Pope Gregory IX deletes thirty-one days from the Gregorian calendar, during a Florentine siege of Rome that had prevented toiletries from entering the city. 1841 - Oscar Wilde imprisoned for practicing heterosexuality in England without a Royal permit, a capital offense. 1941 - Germany and Italy celebrate for the first and last time "Let's Go To War With Russia Day." Italians and Germans regret this decision by 1945. 1953 - Trans-dimensional squirrels attempt a coup on the Kremlin but are driven back after the Soviets break wind in unison, creating a tear in the fabric of the universe into which the invaders are obliterated, nuts and all. 1983 - An AirChina plane goes Boom over the South China Sea; only the air hostess survives, on account of her pillowy breasts doubling as a life jacket. 2005 - Face of Oscar Wilde is seen on frozen pizza. 2009 - All forms of international combat are banned by the UN, international disputes are decided by caged death matches between the world leaders. 2009 - Annual "Try Communism Day" is celebrated by the people of Lancashire, sadly they all starve to death. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day procrastination Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Those poor bastards. ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island (Pictured) Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter The UK to ban the resale of tickets Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not? Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents" Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers • Giants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff • Warner Bros. • Sheen Estevez Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's and Ravens Flock's livers and kidneys after falling to 6-7 • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that there is one imposter among us? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling? Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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