User:Yoyoddd/Shadow the Hedgehog
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“I am THE most popular Sonic character!”
“Ugh, how high WAS I when I made that thing?!”
“Shadow is a hedgehog.”
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Shadow the Hedgehog is the anti-Christ to Sonic the Hedgehog. He was introduced in the Book of Adventures II and took centre stage in the Book of the Emo. Shadow was created by Professor Gerald Robotnik with the help of the false prophet Black Doom. The Lord at first commanded Prof. Robotnik to create a creature to equal Sonic in speed and abilities, as well as be a yin to Sonic's yang.
God was drinking heavily at the time and he did not realize the consequences of his actions. Soon after his creation Black Doom departed leaving Gerald to care for Shadow all on his own. However it was soon revealed that Shadow was an unruly creature with a foul mouth to boot. Shadow (along with his older sister, the Bio Lizard) soon caused much destruction in the Space Colony Ark where he was created.
Left with no other choice, God commanded Gerald to seal Shadow inside a status pod, not to be opened until Armageddon. Initially conceived as a true badass, Shadow had the best expectation of any God's creations. He was black and red, he had white furry chest hair, he never ran, instead he skated with hover shoes, and best off all, he was able to beat the crap out of Sonic. In short, he was every fangirl's dream.
History[edit | edit source]
The Book of Adventures II[edit | edit source]
Dr. Eggman, the grandson of Prof. Gerald Robotnik, learned of the creation of Shadow by his grandfather. Deliberately defying God's will, Eggman set forth to free Shadow before the end of the world. Shadow emerging from his deep slumber, swore revenge on the world, for the death of Maria Robotnik, the granddaughter of Gerald Robotnik, and his only friend. Shadow uses the power of the Chaos Emeralds, to unleash the power of the Heavenly Eclipse Cannon.
Shadow soon found out though, that God expected him to do this (all knowing as he is), and he had Gerald reprogram the Ark, so now it would crash into Earth destroying Shadow and all the abominations with it. Shadow quickly realizes that God had not intended for the Earth to be destroyed, but rather that Satan had orchestrated all these events (including the death of Maria) in order for Shadow to destroy everything, and allow him and his army of plumbers to reign supreme. Shadow, (along with the help of Sonic) used their Chaos Control to put the Ark back in the Earth's orbit. Shadow using up all his strength to prevent the destruction of the planet, fell to earth in a fiery blaze.
The Book of Heroes[edit | edit source]
However, that was not the last of the black and red hedgehog. The Lord felt sorry for the little guy. He decided that being one of his creations and as a reward for saving the Earth, Shadow would get another chance. The Lord wiped Shadow's memories clean, so he would remember nothing of his past, and could start anew.
God had a new plan for Shadow though. He sent Rouge the Bat along with E-123 Omega to partner with Shadow, thus creating Team Dark. Sonic and all the other unimportant characters created their own teams as well. They all went off to fight Eggman, who was actually Metal Sonic in disguise. They beat his shiny metal ass all the way from here to Pakistan. But not before Omega and Rouge discussed, Shadow being a clone of a robot. As if that makes sense.
After completing their mission, Team Dark had a threesome (an anatomical impossibility considering the fact that: E-123 Omega is in fact a machine, Rouge the Bat, is indeed a bat, and perhaps most perplexing off all, is the fact that Shadow has no genitalia of any kind so to speak). God saw this abomination and he lay a curse upon Shadow. He allowed Shadow's memories to start returning to him, but God also destroyed any memories of who Shadow truly was. This made Shadow extremely confused, and would be the start of the motorcycle-riding, gun-trotting, angst filled Book of Emo. (Though, us in the video game business just prefer to call it Shadow the Hedgehog.)
The Book of the Emo[edit | edit source]
God giveth Shadow guns, motorcycles, and badass Chaos abilities. With his new gifts, Shadow would be able to "do anything whatever hell he damn please" or so said God. However, there was one slight problem, Shadow was unable to understand even the most basic concepts, such as: Who he was, the difference between a hedgehog and an android, Maria, who he was, who everyone else was, the difference between good and evil, who he was, and did I mention, who he was?
During this time, the false prophet Black Doom returned to Earth, along with a army of politically incorrect "Black Aliens". Black Doom told Shadow to collect the seven Chaos Emeralds for him. Shadow agreed, knowing full well that if he didn't, there would be no point in playing the game. He helped Black Doom and did everything he said, but somehow Shadow got sidetracked and he started helping G.U.N. as well. Eventually he even began helping the mad scientist and grandson of Gerald Robotnik, Dr. Eggman. Somehow, Shadow ended up helping: Sonic, Tails, Espio, Colonel Sanders, Your Mom, a giraffe, and George Washington's Ghost. At one point, Shadow even thought he might be and android. He was going to cut himself open to find out, but he later decided against it, figuring everyone would take it as proof that he is emo.
Then, over the course of a series of months (days? Hours maybe? Shadow doesn't have a good perception of time), Shadow finally collected the final Chaos Emerald. He then brought them to Black Doom who used them warp his comet down to earth. Then he transform into the newest incarnation of Satan, known as: Devil Doom. Shadow did battle with Devil Doom, and although he was triumphant, the Black Comet of Sephiroth has already managed to land on Earth. Shadow used his Chaos Control to teleport the comet into space and use the Eclipse Cannon to destroy it (but he also did it cause explosions kick ass). It was at this point that Shadow vowed to let go of his past, and never deal with this bullcrap ever again.
Sonic 2006[edit | edit source]
We don't talk about it. Probably because Shadow kills you if you do. But we'll tell you anyway! The entire game went something like this. Shadow runs to get Rouge. "C'mon Rouge!" Shadow yells. Rouge comes. "Oh no! Eggman robot!" Shadow yells. Eggman robot comes. Shadow fights Eggman robot. Then they go to a castle for some reason. "We are at the castle!" Shadow yells. "Oh no! I dropped the Scepter!" Rouge yells. "Teehee! I am Mephiles!" Mephiles screams. "I don't like you!"
Then Mephiles pulls out a ball and shoots Shadow and Rouge with it. "Oh no! We are in the future!" Shadow yells. Then they find Sonic, and he's also in the future. "Chaos Emerald!" Rouge yells. "Don't touch it!" Shadow yells, then they get into a fight. After that, they all go back to the past, except for Shadow, 'cause he saw Mephiles. "Will you be my friend? :D" Mephiles yelled. "No!" Shadow yelled. Then they fought, and Omega came for no reason. Then they went back to the past. Then some stuff happened, and Silver came. Then he fought Shadow. "You're a meanie bo beanie!" Silver yelled.
Then they go back in time and meet Princess Elise's dad. Then there was an explosion, and her dad tried to shield himself with Elise. Then Mephiles was a pile of goo. Then Shadow caught Mephiles. Then Shadow went back to the future. Then he went to a the desert. "It's hot here!" Shadow yelled. Then he fought Mephiles. "Wanna be my friend now? :D" Mephiles yelled. Then he beat up Shadow. Then Shadow got super powers and beat up Mephiles. Then the game ended. Except there was an extra story, but I never unlocked it.
Alleged Rape[edit | edit source]
During the summer of 2008, Shadow was brought to court along with the two other hedgehogs, Sonic, and Silver. It was believed that they were involved in the rape and kidnapping of recent rape victim Amy Rose. Shadow pleaded not guilty quoting "I wouldn't touch that [Amy] with a thirty nine and a half foot pole." It was later revealed that it was Knuckles the Echidna, who acted alone in the rape and kidnapping of Amy Rose. However, the alleged rape charges hurt Shadow's career, and his appearance in The Book of Unleashed Adventures was later cut, by God.
The Sonic and Shadow Show[edit | edit source]
Creation[edit | edit source]
Following the release of Sonic 2006, Shadow saw little new public exposure. He found small roles in various games such as Sonic and the Racially Incorrect Knight, and Sonic and Friends Rip Off Mario Cart. But these were only meager roles. Shadow went to Sonic, and together they discussed the possibility of creating a TV show. After the failure of Sonic X, Sonic was uncertain about making a new show, but he agreed none the less. The pilot episode featured Shadow and Sonic beating the crap out of Chris before tossing his body in the river, mob style. Needless to say, the show was an instant hit.
Premise[edit | edit source]
Sonic was cast as the cool douche bag with not a care in the world and an eye for the ladies (but not Amy). Shadow was the strict all work and no play sort constantly getting angry at Sonic's antics. The show had Sonic and Shadow constantly getting into crazy adventures, like that time Shadow challenged Sonic to a race. Or that time Shadow took over the Earth. The show was infamous for it's crazy guest stars, such as: Dr. Eggman, Black Doom, Tails the Fox, Mario the Plumber, Cloud Strife, and a bunch of Lemmings.
The most popular part of the show were the spontaneous musical numbers in every episode. Some of the stand outs were: "Too Late To Apologize (For Sonic '06)", "Above the Ark", and "Hedgehogs Just Wanna Have Fun". The songs were widely successful and helped launch Shadow as musical sensation.
Here are some of the lyrics to "Too Late To Apologize (For Sonic '06)" below:
I'm holding on the disk, Puttin' the game into the con-sole I'm seeing the whole game but I just can't move around You tell me "it's fun to play me" Then you go and screw around, oh crap! You tell me that you're sorry Didn't think I'd turn around, and play...
I'm playing Halo instead, hell yeah! Hell yeah! I said I'm playing Halo instead, hell yeah! Hell yeah!
Scandal[edit | edit source]
Throughout it's broadcast, there was a strong belief that Shadow's character was suppose to have gay tendencies for Sonic. In every interview they did together, Sonic would further stoke such theories, angering Shadow. Things came to a head when Shadow, came to work drunk, and began a profanity laced rant about Sonic's homosexuality. Sonic was so enraged he attacked Shadow on the set. Things turned bloody when Cream the Rabbit found her way onstage and was brutally beaten during the fight. Shadow was charged with assault and battery against a minor. This (along with the alleged rape) was the reason Shadow did not appear in The Book of Sonic Unleashed Adventures. Shadow has not spoken to Sonic since.
Shadow is currently paying for Cream's medical bills and expenses. Sonic in a recent interview comment on the incident and had this to say, "you know. The thing that happened with [Shadow]. It was completely tragic. Shadow had just been bottling up all his feelings. It was almost as if he was an emotionless robot. It just had to come out sometime. I'm only saddened that Cream had to get caught up in the whole thing. She was a good kid... she was a good kid. I just wish I had done something. I saw Shadow going for that gun. I knew what he was going to do. I wanted to stop him. But I just couldn't... I just couldn't... I froze. I just couldn't react in time."
A lawyer for Shadow responded, saying, "my client, Shadow the Hedgehog, is deeply sorry for the events surrounding the hospitalization of Cream the Rabbit. Shadow, would however hope that we could all move past this tragic incident and move on with our lives. Shadow, however will not stand for the slanderious lies, created by a certain blue hedgehog." Later that day, gunshots were heard at Sonic's apartment. A black hedgehog was seen leaving the premise. It is unconfirmed if this was indeed Shadow. No one was injured, but the authorities arrested Shadow on suspicion. He was later released, and all charges were subsequently dropped, when it was discovered that it was in fact Knuckles the Echidna who had broken into Sonic's apartment and fired a gun, while dressed up as Shadow. It is was later revealed that he was trying to rape Amy Rose... again.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Shadow was once sued by the makers of Grand Theft Auto for copyright infringement. Shadow countersued saying, "just because you can use guns, and steal cars, and beat up hookers [in the game], and the original working title was Grand Theft Hedgehog does mean that we stole the idea from you!" Shadow soon lost the case thereafter.
- Guns don't kill people, Shadow does. With guns.
- Shadow once was a member of Fight Club.
- Shadow had a pet gun named Gunny, sadly, Gunny contracted lead poisoning, and had to be put to sleep with his own bullet.
- It's been long suspected that Mephiles, is actually the son of Shadow, due to the striking resemblance between the two. But this can't be since everyone knows Shadow is a virgin (how he knocked Amy is up to debate).
- Shadow is a Transformer. At least he is in the sense that he transformed from an awesome villain character, into a faggy goody two shoes, who always does what's right, and never forgets to take out the trash. Ok, so he's not a Transformer like Optimus Prime is, so sue me.
- Shadow is black, and red... and white. So I guess that makes him a Caucasian-African-America-Indian-Hedgehog. Except that he was born in space, so that really doesn't count. Go figure.
