Santa Barbara Colina Verde

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The iconic beach where Sonic the Hedgehog has ran. If you look closely, you can see the loop faults

Santa Barbara Colina Verde (Spanish for Saint Barbara Green Hill), also incorrectly referred to as either Green Hill Zone, or Santa Barbara, is a large, Florida-like coastal city in California. It is a part of the San Claus metropolitan area on the South Island county.

Santa Barbara Colina-Verde is often known as the residence of the world-famous hero, Sonic the Hedgehog, and its loop-de-loop filled grassland beach that he starts his yearly crusades against Dr. Eggman at. Little does the general public know, however, that Santa Barbara Colina-Verde is also one of the many Santa-claimed towns in California, and that its history and significance involve more than just the blue rodent. It also involved other anthropomorphic animals and humans living together, and is also suspected, due to its distance from the Walt Disney Studios in Burbank, to be where Walt Disney created Mickey Mouse from the DNA of actual nearby rodents. In addition, its self-titled founder, Saint Barbara Colina Verde, changed her name to the more English variation, Barbara Green Hill, moved to Texas, and became the great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother of Hank Hill

History[edit | edit source]

For those obsessed with so-called-experts, Wikipedia has an article about: Colina Verde, or "Green Hill" Zone and Santa Barbara.
Mission Santa Barbara, built in Marble Zone in 1770

In 1764, Santa Barbara Colina Verde, a Spanish feminist, traveled with Santa Dora the human and San Botas the monkey, to prove that it was possible for girls to be competent founders and rulers and to also find San Botas's family, who sent him a letter telling him to look for him on "South Island". They journeyed to South Island, an island off the coast of California. Together, they traveled the island and explored many lava and water-filled ancient ruins, and designated them as "zones". They would also find other islands like Westside Island and Angel Island and establish zones on them. With them they brought 146 women and 98 men, to allow reproduction. With the cities they built, they established Marble Zone, Spring Yard Zone, Labyrinth Zone, and Twilight Zone, which they would later rename, "Star Light Zone" to avoid copyright lawsuits. The iconic "Green Hill Zone", which many idiotic Sonic fantards refuse to acknowledge is actually called "Santa Barbara Colina Verde Zone", would be established as the capital of their colony, which due to the loop-de-loops, they would call "Mobius". Contrary to popular belief, the name does not come from the "green hills" as there actually are none. The structures present are actually grassy mesas and buttes. The name was humbly named for the full name of Saint Barbara, who got into a feud with Saint Dora and Saint Botas over the naming credits.

Discovery of the Chaos Emeralds[edit | edit source]

After the feud, Dora and Botas finally got to meeting the latter's family. San Botas's father, Master Chimp Pan Z., was then recently appointed the leader of the unnamed anthropomorphic animal community. Barbara, Dora, and Botas were all fascinated at the humanoid animals, and suggested intergrating their human community with theirs. Pan Z. agreed on the condition that they help his soldiers find the legendary Chaos Emeralds. At first, Barbara laughed, and said that the creatures were still animals, but when Dora found a glowing jewel while examining the strange light posts around Santa Barbara Colina Verde Zone, not only did the humans realize that the jewels really were supernatural, but they were also disgusted at Barbara's apathy, and they collectively voted her out of their leadership office. In order to give both the Spanish human explorers their power over the land, and to prevent the anthropomorphic animals from being oppressed, San Botas was offered the leadership position, which he reluctantly accepted.

At the time though, the humans still had trouble understanding just what the purpose of the "emeralds" was. All the gems really seemed to do was shine, and nothing else. Their understanding would change when a group of Echidnas from one of the Mobian islands off the coast of California, Angel Island, would arrive to show them how to use it. The echidnas helped Dora and Botas in a fight they got into with their theiving arch-enemy, Swiper the Fox, and further cemented the colonists' and Mobians' alliance. Not only this, but Dora and Botas were offered a Chaos Emerald transformation that would make them have eternal life. The one condition they had to accept was to learn English and for Botas to change his name to the English variation, "Boots". Boots was unhappy about this, as he felt it reduced his name to a shoe. Santa Dora and San Boots also had to change their titles to English as well, becoming Saint Dora and Saint Boots.

What Became of Saint Barbara and The Colonists?[edit | edit source]

In an attempt to kill Boots and Dora for stealing what she believed was HER colony, Santa Barbara returned for revenge, but the progressively more language-intolerant Mobian animals were too tired of speaking a second language, but their law also outlawed killing for any purpose or any way, even in self-defense and capital punishment, so they took her to Westside Island and threw her into the Hidden Palace Zone, and then used the chaos emeralds to make the ruins literally hidden. This transported the palace to Angel Island, leaving garbled remains that Sonic and Tails themselves would discover on the former's second crusade against Dr. Robotnik. When asked about if he found Santa Barbara's remains, Sonic and Tails replied that they found none at the Angel Island part or the Westside part, and assumed she died without a trace. In reality, Santa Barbara escaped and moved to Texas, as confirmed by King Hank Hill, but even him, Bobby, and Peggy know nothing about Santa Barbara Colina Verde, other than that she changed her name to English just like her former associates by the time she started a family.

Saint Dora and Saint Boots, now being immortal, lived to experience the America's occupation of California, and this included their county of Mobius. Dora's colony wasn't as emotionally affected by the occupation, as they had already experienced Englification as a trade-off for immortality, but they still wanted independence. The Mobian animals, on the other hand, couldn't have been happier. Being immortal, Saint Dora and Boots are alive to this day, having becoming celebrities known for the Nickelodeon children's educational nature show, Dora the Explorer. They currently live on the Casino Night Zone bay beach on Westside Island, operating the Hard Rock Casino yacht.

Modern History[edit | edit source]

Not much else really happened besides Dora's explorations and Sonic's adventures, but the Mobian colonies experienced urban and suburb growth just like every American city. The roads, however, are shaped like the loop faults, making them roller-coaster-like, and thus, very dangerous.

Geography[edit | edit source]

As shown by Sonic the Hedgehog's amazing stunts, the grassy beaches, such as "Green Hill" itself, as well as Emerald Hill Zone, have loop-shaped faults scattered around. In addition, many of the roads are built this way. The islands also have pipe-shaped mesas and plateaus. The cities are often filled with Casinos, making it very similar to a coastal Las Vegas.

Culture and Famous People[edit | edit source]

Aside from being known for Sonic the Hedgehog and his friends, the zones of Santa Barbara Colina Verde also have other assets. Due to Sonic's inherent cool and edgy, but also dorky appearance, and his fanbase, the county is a melting pot of Spanish-American and Japanese culture. New Jack Swing, especially if it's a song by Michael Jackson, is a popular genre. Michael himself would become good friends with Sonic and Tails on their Angel Island adventures.

Michael McDonald, an associate of Steely Dan and once-a-lead-singer of The Doobie Brothers, lived in Santa Barbara Colina Verde since the 1980s. It was an hour or two away from San Jose, where the Doobies came from, and also a fellow San Claus-claimed territory, along with Santa Monica and Santa Clara.

Speaking of Santa Clara, and also speaking of Dora, California's Great America, an Amusement park owned by Cedar Point's owners, and formerly owned by Paramount Pictures, a sister company of Dora and Boots's trademark owners Nickelodeon, was originally located on Angel Island, but Dr. Robotnik's seizing of the park and renaming it to "Carnival Night Zone", prompted them to relocate the park to Santa Clara when they got it back. After Viacom forfeited the park to Cedar Point, they demanded them to remove all Nickelodeon and Paramount memorabilia, and this included Dora and Boots's merchandise for Dora the Explorer. Dora and Boots, both still being immortal, sued Cedar Point and Viacom for removing them from the park, saying that the Great America park was established to teach roller-heads Californian history, and that removing Dora and Boots violated one of the conditions of the Californian annexation, which is that Dora and Boots would always be represented in American history. Cedar and Viacom won the lawsuit on the account that they were only removing the Dora show, and not information related to the real Dora and Boots. Dora and Boots, losing billions in the lawsuit, went into poverty, but regained their fortune by working in the Casino Night Zone. They now are managers at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Yacht just outside of the zone.

See Also[edit | edit source]