User:Von Waffle

For those obsessed with the so-called experts, Von Waffle also has a userpage on the English Wikipedia.

The author of this page is fucking insane. You can help by shooting them.

Check out my template collection!

ABYSS

This user has survived the wretched dark place we call The Abyss.

This user is the descendant of Vikings and is proud of their family history of pillaging.

This user is not and has never been Napoleon.

This user denies any involvement with the cabal. There is no cabal.

This user is better than BENSON, and is an Anti-BENSON-ite! Muahahaha!

no nj

This user is not a Ninja, with no dominion over everything totally sweet.

∞

This user is an ageless immortal, or so they like to think.

This user is right-handed.

In Latin, they would be Dexter.

This user's future is so bright, they've gotta wear shades.

This user is a geek.

This user knows the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.

This User a n00b is not, and approves that, Yoda does.

If you are a n00b who is looking at this, you have just exploded.

This user drinks tea.

Meat

This user is mostly or entirely made of meat

This user likes Jam. A lot.

This user loves pasta.

This user completely enjoys pie because it is awesome.

en

This user is a native speaker of English.

DIFF M

This user plays Video Games on the default difficulty setting as they simply aren't good enough.

LV-2

This user considers themselves an intermediate gamer and so probably has some sort of social life.

This user wastes their life playing games on Steam.

This user is a birdwatcher.

This user is EXTREMELY RANDOM
Be advised: Approach with caution and a sense of humor.

This user is an Australian, so don't be surprised if they go on about "barbies", "cuppas", "maaates" and other things.

This user is €uro …and denies their "real" citizenship
(List of European Uncyclopedians)

This user is not Polish.
Isn't that great?

This user is Swedish
…and hates going to IKEA!
(List of Swedish Uncyclopedians)

Pb

This user contains lead, a chemical known to da State of Calfornia to cause cancer, birth defects and other reproductive harm. Wash your hands after using this user.

This user has no featured articles. They are a failure. Feel free to point and laugh.

This user likes to stare at optical illusions until their head hurts.

This user should not be trusted.

ego

This user is a deluded egomaniac.

If you don't shut the fuck up this could happen to you.

BS

This userpage is bullshit.

TA

This user believes that you can never have too many text adventures on Uncyclopedia.

This user is convinced that any Pegasus is far superior to a Unicorn.

This user prefers metric units and cannot figure out why Americans measure things in appendage comparisons like 'feet'.

This user bought a parrot as it holds a better conversation than most people they know.

1+

This user has over 1 edit.

This user edits Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia. Please stop this craziness before their plans for world-domination are complete.

This user wishes they were an admin. Please grant them their wish.

This user is fascinated by chaos theory. They probably don't realize how apocalyptic the word 'chaos' sounds: bring on the carnage!

This is what happens to people that disagree with this user.

This user likes to watch things explode.

This user is a socialist and jealous of China.


		This page has too many templates. You're not helping. Please eliminate some.

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|       This user owns an        |
|       ASCII userbox! Yay!      |
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UBX

This user opposes other users screwing with their userboxes.

USB!!!!!11

NO, REALLY TRULY REALLY!!!!

This user likes to use redundant userboxes.

I collect userboxes as if they were trading cards, hoping that they may be ~~collectors items~~ worth something in the future.

This user is a member of the
Evil Atheist Conspiracy.

"We're after your children and pets."

This ~~user~~ monkey understands biological evolution and wishes to evangelise this fact.

This user is the god of ugly red userboxes.

This user plays cricket, because it is superior to baseball.

This user can also be found elsewhere on the internet.

IP

This person's IP is 3.141.592.654.

This user has Windows 11.
Their PC must have ridiculous power.

This user uses Windows because they can't get enough of your lover.

This user prefers to play games on a laptop as they don't have to stop to go to the toilet.

This user plays on a PS4 because they probably still can’t get their hands on a PS5.

This user plays the Xbox One – should've bought the PS4, dummy!

This user uses Google Chrome, because it's GOOGLE.

This user is a Game player. They have probably been eaten by a lot of Grues, so cut them some slack.

THE GAME

This user has beaten you at the game because you have just remembered it. You lose again.

This user is a philosopher.

This user is a member of the
Society for Misspelling Philantropy
…Because the silent "H" is the loneliest letter…

This user denounces BENSON.

This user is a Sniper and has their rifle pointing at your head.

This user is not The Thinkerer.

Rate my Mullet, homiez!

This user is NOT a fish, or at least thinks so.

This user is not who you think they are. In fact, they are someone who you think is not them, who thinks they are (who you think is not - who is).

42

This user speaks fluent Douglas Adams.

So long and thanks for the fish!

This user knows the truth about hummingbirds and will not rest until the lies have been dispelled.

This user drinks water.

This user is a cereal killer.

Yes, I would like fries with that.

This user likes apples.
Or they are one already.

This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.

This user enjoys indiscriminate pillaging.

XD

This user is interested in comedy, and may enjoy writing or performing it.

AAAAAAAAA!

AAAA AAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAAAA!

AA!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAA!!!

AAAA AAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA.
(AAAA AA AAAAAA AAAAA AAAAA)

Somebody set up us the bomb.
For great justice take off every 'zig'.

This user is a complete, irredeemable ax murderer. They are Bat Fuck Insane, and ASPLODE at a blow-up doll.

This user's mutant level is 5; biohazard detected! Escape while you still can!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....BANANAPHONE!!!!

—

This space for rent.

Watch for Falling Rocks.

This user is invisible, <insert name here> sees You but you don't see him/her. Tee hee!!

?

Do not underestimate the power of It. Underestimation of the power of It will kill you from the sheer power of It.

RENT

This space for rent.
Lube available.

Call 1-800-666-6666.

This user does not know how to shot web.

This user will give you a seizure.

sub

subliminal!

This user is an Australian
… Strewth! Crikey! Fark!
(List of Australian Uncyclopedians)

This user is interested in Russia and likes to speak with a Russian accent.

This user is interested in the British Empire.

This user is not American
…and unabashedly proud of it.
(But they're not saying where they're from in case y'all come and bomb the hell out of it.)
(List of NonAmerican Uncyclopedians)

This user is Unamerican
…and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of Unamerican Uncyclopedians)

I am attempting to control your mind.
If you feel tired you are in DANGER
Leave this page immediately !!

This user is cursed, and will lead an unsatisfactory life unless they forward this userbox to 10 friends.

This user is a Mad Scientist.

This user is a Psycho, so fear them (unless you're into that).

Just because I think everyone is trying to kill me doesn't mean they aren't. You know what I mean?

I WILL WARP YOUR FRAGILE LITTLE MIND!!!!

This user is a mutant.

This user believes Barney is evil, and therefore must die.

This user knows that

Nothing Matters

This user enjoys overcast weather

This article is BS.
Quit fucking around and please
add some actual "content" to it.

1+

This user has over 1 edit.

Today's date is
Tuesday - April 9th, 2024

This user is online now!

Gramaer

Tis usar or gruop suport teh use of propper gramer adn speling on teh UnCyclopedia.

This user is a grammar nazi and should be feared by incoherent idiots.

This user is licensed to spell.

This user is a spelling Nazi. Beware their grammarsteeq.

This user is an administrator on another wiki.

This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo.

This user wants to be an administrator, but can't make it in.

sar

This user is sarcastic.

TROUBLEMAKER

This user has an acerbic sense of humour which is likely to result in many of their dynamic IP addresses being blocked by Uncyclopedia administrators.