User:Jeffers

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Recon.jpg
I can has Recon?

Perhaps you are part of Bungie's plan for world domination...or you killed yourself with a traffic cone.


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You can help by adding more article.

“I have no idea what I'm doing...”

~ Jeffers on his contributions to Uncyclopedia

“Pretentious, egotistical and slightly camp...He’s my kind of guy.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Jeffers

“...the clever-dumb balance is restored.”

~ MINT ads on Jeffers
The jeffers
Jeffers.jpg
Scientific classification
KingdomUnited
PhylumWTF?
ClassB223
OrderLacking
FamilyDisfunctionalus
GenusHomo
SpeciesAwesomeus
Binomial name
God
Specifications
Primary armamentXbox 360 controller
Secondary armamentRolled up newspaper
Power supplyAA
Health1
Mana1337
Strength0.3
IntelligenceIncalcuable
WeightNegligible
Length6ft
Special attackSpaz
Conservation status
One and only
BS
This userpage is bullshit.
BS
The Game
This user just lost The Game, as did you.
The Game
Temp This is a template userbox, to create userboxes from. Anyone with it on his/her page is clearly just looking for an excuse to have more Userboxes.
Crystal Clear app kcmdf.png
This user likes to use redundant userboxes.
Crystal Clear app kcmdf.png
Usb!
No, really!
Usb!
USB!!!!!11
NO, REALLY TRULY REALLY!!!!
USB!!!!!11
ubx–
crapload
This user has a crapload of userboxes. To see more of them, go to User:jeffers/userboxes.
ubx–
crapload
Eeek!
This user steals userboxes from random people's user pages.
Eeek!
Half Jaw.jpg
This user pwns at Halo 3.
Half Jaw.jpg
Stig.PNG
This user is The Stig.
Stig.PNG
YA
This user is a young adult and so is probably poor, lazy and drunk ... or a student.
YA
HeteroSym-pinkblue2.svg.png
This user is straight, and only desires intimate relations with members of the opposite sex. The freak!
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Dexter.jpg
This user is right-handed.
In Latin, they would be Dexter.
Deadbarney3.gif
This user believes Barney is evil, and therefore must die.
Deadbarney3.gif
Oranges.png
This user likes to eat anything orange.
Oranges.png
Uncyclopedia elzzup otatop.jpg
.sdrawkcab si resu sihT
!degnellahc-yllatnoziroh TON si resu sihT :etoN
Mindreader8.jpg
This user is reading your thoughts!
Mindreader8.jpg
Monbags.jpg
This user is POOR,
has never passed GO,
and never collected $200.
Monbags.jpg
Euroipods1.jpg
This user supports the giving away of free iPods .
Euroipods1.jpg
This user would be a professional procrastinator, but they can't be bothered.
official
This user is official. They get all their user boxes from here.
official
Frown.jpg
Bad User
This user is an asshole.
Please avoid direct contact.
Tihs f****r spekas Typo ehavily laced wirh profanitt taht woudl amke a f*****g a*****e salior bluhs form all teh g******d balshpemy.
Pikachuevolving.PNG
This user got Pokémon Diamond because they are a corporate whore. Their friend code is 210553353220.
Pikachuevolving.PNG
Coffee sm.jpg
This user needs a steady supply of Caffeine. So hand it over . . . NOW.
(List of users who NEED caffeine)
Coffee sm.jpg
Canadian snowman.jpg
This user is cooler than you.
Canadian snowman.jpg
This user is elite.
Xbox2.jpg This user is addicted to video games. PlayStation Logos.jpg


LV-4 This user considers him/herself an expert gamer and so begs borrows or steals just enough money to pay for their electricity.
MMORPG This user believes MMORPGs are a waste of time and/or money. Furthermore to this fact s/he demands the deletion of all MMORPGs and their players!
Nintendo ds.png This user prefers the Nintendo DS over the PSP as they have far superior multitasking abilities.
NintendoDS.jpg This user prefers settles for the the original DS model as they have no money.

Xbox 360 wireless controller.png

This user plays on an Xbox 360 as their pretentiousness knows no bounds.

Xbox 360 wireless controller.png

Wii.jpg This user prefers the Wii as 'it's the game play that counts'.
610px-NGC Gamecube.jpg This user plays games on the Nintendo GameCube as they broke their window with the Wii remote and can't afford another.
DreamcastConsole.jpg This user still enjoys the overrated Sega Dreamcast but doesn't talk about this to anyone but his/her therapist.
Antisensor.JPG
This user is against computer and video game censorship and regulation as they like porn and violence (though not always at the same time).
Antisensor.JPG
Hammer and sickle.png
This user is a Communist
& is working on their Lenin mustache! ☭
Neo Small.jpg
This user believes in the Matrixes and needs to seriously get in touch with the real world (It's actually Matrices)
Windows logo - 2012 (dark blue).svg
This user uses Windows because they can't get enough of your lover.
Windows logo - 2012 (dark blue).svg
Firefox Logo.png
This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.
Firefox Logo.png
United Kingdom
This user is a total UKer


and can call you wanker with impunity.


(British Uncyclopedians)
Boris johnson mayor of london.jpg
This user is a Brit and a Johnsonite
Boris johnson mayor of london.jpg
Mad scientist caricature.png
This user is a Mad Scientist.
Mad scientist caricature.png
Bananaseizure.gif
This user will give you a seizure.
Bananaseizure.gif
MEH
This user redefines lazy!
MEH
Question mark white.svg
This user is a skeptical agnostic
and doesn't know if they don't know
Question mark white.svg
Mario-lo-res.jpg
This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.
Mario-lo-res.jpg
Vista logo.png
This user hates Windows Vista and recommends the total destruction of all existing copies.
Taramasalata.jpg
This user is addicted to taramosalata, tarantulas and anything with lots of 't's and 'a's.
Taramasalata.jpg
Cowbell2.gif
THIS USER IS ADDICTED TO COWBELL, AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.
Cowbell2.gif
nj
This user is a Ninja , with dominion over everything totally sweet.
nj
IP
Jeffers's IP is 127.0.0.1.
IP
Kid1.gif
This user seriously needs to calm down.
Kid1.gif
Exploding-head.gif
This user's head A SPLODE.
Exploding-head.gif
Popeeyebeams.jpg
This user has eye beams.
Popeeyebeams.jpg
Popeeyebeams.jpg
This user is a complete, irredeemable Utility Muffin Research Kitchen. They are Bat Fuck Insane, and eat at an antidisestablishmentarianist.
Popeeyebeams.jpg
253951 photo.gif
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....BANANAPHONE!!!!
253951 photo.gif
FUUUUUUUUUUCK.jpg
THIS IS SPARTA!
FUUUUUUUUUUCK.jpg
ego
This user is a deluded egomaniac.
ego
The Worst Part of Censorship.jpg
This *bleep* user likes to *bleep* the use of *bleep* *bleep* profanity *bleep*
The Worst Part of Censorship.jpg
Myfisto.gif
This user has attained a plane of asshattery previously thought unreachable and needs to be cockpunched immediately.
Myfisto.gif
Nuvola apps important.svg
This user hates you and everyone you care about.
Nuvola apps important.svg
NO
This user doesn't care.
NO
Cheeze.jpg This user believes participation in the consumption of cheese is an exquisite pastime.
Gefahrensymbol F.png
This user is a bit of a pyromaniac.
Gefahrensymbol F.png
Kraspin.gif
This user enjoys staring at spinning objects, and may be afflicted with Attention Deficit look at the birdie!
Kraspin.gif
DramaticQuestionMark.png
This user can also be found elsewhere on the internet.
DramaticQuestionMark.png
Afrogoat.jpg
This user likes goats .
Baaaahaahaahaahhh!
Afrogoat.jpg
Wikipedia-logo.png
This user doesn't trust Wikipedia as far as they can throw it… but nonetheless use it on a daily basis.
Wikipedia-logo.png
FireV2.png
This user rejects the theory of global warming

, or at least thinks it's someone else's

problem.
FireV2.png
Lorenz attractor yb.svg.png
This user is fascinated by chaos theory. They probably don't realize how apocalyptic the word 'chaos' sounds: bring on the carnage!
Lorenz attractor yb.svg.png
Lq-dna.png
This user monkey understands biological evolution and wishes to evangelise this fact.
Lq-dna.png
TableImage.svg.png
This user tried, really, really hard, to
memorize the elements' names and
symbols but can only remember that
H is for hydrogen
Heritage Routemaster.jpg
This user uses public transport and so has most likely been mugged, raped or murdered.
Heritage Routemaster.jpg
No Wikipedia.png
This user does not have a user page at Wikipedia because they think that they take things way too seriously over there.
No Wikipedia.png

Jeffers is perhaps the biggest waste of human resourses to date, right after hippies, Jade Goody and Poland. In his entire existance he has never achieved, improved or asploded anything, making his total contributions to the world comparable with god. In fact, if the govenment did not insist on taxing EVERYONE, there would be no record of Jeffers' existance. Why are you even reading his userpage?

Habits[edit | edit source]

Notable activities include:

  • Sleeping
  • Eating
  • Sleeping
  • Complaining (Jeffers is 127% British, 97% raddish)
  • Sleeping
  • Plotting world domination
  • Sleeping
  • Playing Xbox
  • Not sleeping...followed by sleeping
  • Not attending college - get your ass in now.

Diet[edit | edit source]

Jeffers' diet is observed to consist almost entirely of Lucozade and Weetos. How he manages to survive on such little nourishment has been the subject of literally three studies. None providing useful results.

Obsession with Xbox Live[edit | edit source]

Playing Halo has been proved to be the most worthless thing a person can do, so naturally, Jeffers is almost always doing it.

He is considerably devoted to unlocking Recon armour, which is why he plasters his stupid template over anything REMOTELY Halo related...

Otherwise his gamertag is completely unremarkable, although his gamerscore is OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAND!!!!

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