Metal GNU

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Metal GNU beginnings[edit | edit source]

Metal GNU had a dubious start in the 1850's as an offshoot of classical GNU. Fueled by such one-hit-wonders as Stallman's Soft Cell, and Los Del Rio's "Free Software Boogie", it appeared that Metal GNU was doomed to failure. However a freak meeting between Jerry Garcia and Linuz Torvalds in the summer of 1983 held intriguing consequences for the neglected genre. The untold story (which cannot be told here) involved expensive ice cream, psychic deli rugs, those large brain eating insects from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, probably drugs as well, crayons, finger paints, colored construction paper, (a homosexual encounter?[citation needed]) and a bust of Bill gates. Little else is known of the encounter.

Subgenres[edit | edit source]

To its credit modern Metal GNU has spawned several sub genres including but not limited to:

  • Heavy Metal GNU
  • Death Metal GNU (very brutal)
    • Lead Pipe GNU (ultra brutal)
  • Thrash metal GNU
  • Trash Metal GNU
    • White Trash Metal GNU
  • Powdered Metal GNU
  • Gothic Metal GNU
    • Iron-ically Gothic Metal GNU
    • Disco GNU
  • Rusted Metal GNU
  • Wuss Metal GNU
    • Emo Metal GNU

The theme song[edit | edit source]

In 1997, a group of musicians formed the band formally known as Linuxaniousarus Rex (or L-NEX). Going on to become successful in the latter days of Ubuntu and Fedora core, In the RAM rock era, They had their very first hit with "Metal GNU."

Lyrics[edit | edit source]

Sung to the tune of what might possibly be recognizable as"Metal Guru", which may or may not have been performed by a band known as "T-Rex"


Metal GNU is it free, Metal GNU can it be?
Sitting there with your policies fair, oh yeah
Metal GNU is it true, Metal GNU are you through?
Cause those free-use people all started to moan, oh yeah
Metal GNU could it be, you're gonna bring my downloads to me
She'll be Semi-Protected, Microsoft won't be affected, oh yeah
Metal GNU has it been, what with being a programmers dream
It's all free, It's as free as can be, oh yeah!
Metal GNU is it safe, Metal GNU is it Safe?
Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, It's safe!
Metal GNU could it be, you're gonna bring my Linux to me
She'll be live disk, theres no spyware risk, oh yeah
Metal GNU is it clean, Metal GNU are you mean?
Be a sport and give some tech support, oh
Metal GNU could it be, you're gonna bring my manual to me
She'll be free, Though not quite free as could be...oh yeah!
Metal GNU is it you, Metal GNU is it you, yeah, yeah, yeah
Metal GNU is it you, yeah, yeah, yeah
Metal GNU is it you, yeah, yeah, yeah ....

See also[edit | edit source]

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