Gynecologist

“I love puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutting your mind at ease” ~ Dr Stephen Lynch is a professionally qualified Veterinarian for the axe wounds that grow between a female's thighs. A Gynic...Gynec......that word refers to those who practice the profession invented in 1961 by Oscar Wilde who was inspired by Star Trek to boldly go where no man had ever gone before. Oscar, however, being a regular visitor to Vegemite valley (a faggot) ventured there largely by accident. He propped up his first guinea pig, a Mrs Smith of Nebraska, Ohio after she had complained for weeks about an itchy vagina. For the first time in Oscar's life, he said something rather heterosexual to her, by telling her he had no experience in the area, but if she would be so kind as to pop the hood then lay back and think of England, he would take a look at it. He discovered she had a bee inside her warpzone to tuna-town, and removed it for her. Thus was the field of Guynan... Guylia...Gyrosc Pussy Servicing invented. It's a Cunt of a Job, But Someone's Gotta Do it Typical line of men queuing up to apply for the study of gynecology Today there are over 1,000,000 gynikol... split-lettuce checkers around the world. It is a field mostly reserved for male practitioners, however a few donut bumpers do sometimes take up the practice and don't mind having a woman in once or twice a week to clean for them. These people go through 7 years of medical training including 3 years specialising in the field of Guyneck... Snatch Sanitizing. Believe you me, by the time they see you as a patient, they are fully versed in the art of keeping a patient's mind at ease and their gateway to the guts completely free of bees. Bees find their way inside women's' vaginas with surprising ease, and that's when the professional touch of these people that we admit we can't spell is most necessary. If I have to try to spell that damn word again I'm going to kill someone. I could copy it from the header, but I'm too lazy. Anyway, if the bee is not removed from a woman's vagisi cooter, it can become infected and she may become republican. A Typical Inspection Scenario Doctor <insert name here>: "Good evening Ma'am. My name is Dr.<insert name here>. If you would just like to remove your undergarments and spread your legs open for me, we will begin the cleaning out of your front butt, and make sure there are no naughty bees hiding in there!" Patient: "Um, Okay" The patient now removes her clothing and sits in a chair where her legs are cuffed to the feet rests, in case she tries to wriggle around or escape or something. This is standard procedure so Doctors don't run the risk of whiplash and having to sue their patients. Doctor <insert name here>: "My god you have a big pussy, my god you have a big pussy, my god you have a big pussy" Patient: "OK, OK, you don't have to repeat yourself" Doctor <insert name here>: "I didn't, I didn't, I didn't" The Patient then realizes her pussy echoes like the Grand Canyon. Doctor <insert name here>: "Ok, I'm about to start flossing... oh wait, we seem to have a problem here!" Patient: "Oh no! What is it?" Doctor <insert name here>: "Well, there is a bee inside your vagina! But don't worry, this is what I am trained for, so just sit back and relax, and what I am going to do, is lure it out of your snatch by applying a little bit of honey onto the end of my penis and poking it inside your vagina, but only the head of my dick, the bee will get a whiff of the honey, be attracted to it, and stick to the end of my knob, and I will be able to pull it out... do I have your consent to do this, Ma'am?" Patient: "I guess so, you are a qualified practitioner after all." The Doctor then proceeds to insert the tip of his honey covered knob into the patient's vagina. He slips it in about 1 inch. Then he SLAMS his cock into her as hard as he can and begins thrusting away like a madman, fucking the living shit out of her front-hole! Patient: "AHHHH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DOCTOR?" Doctor <insert name here>: "The bait isn't working, I'm going to have to drown the bastard!" Another Related Scenario Husband: Where have you been? Wife: I Went to the Gyno for a check up! Husband: Did you tell him about your annoying cunt? Wife: No, he never asked about you! A Bad Example Sometimes things do not always go as planned for the feminine inspection. Such as this situation here. Doctor <insert name here>:I'm afraid the bee is being rather stubborn. I'm afraid I'm going to have to go in deeper... with my tongue. Patient: Umm... okay, you're the Doc, Doc. The Doctor then begins to insert his tongue, to what the patient believes at first is the doctor inspecting her pussy for bees. But after 3 hours, she wonders why he is inspecting the wrong area of her snatch and asks; Patient: Ummm, Doctor, is the bee removed yet? Doctor <insert name here>: No, but I did find a cherry!

A typical Gynecologist convention scenario, "SHARON" - "SARAH" - "RACHEL" - "BETH" - "TIFFANY" - "MY ASS" The Aftermath of Paris Hiltons last Gyno exam Do not trust this man, he isn't a doctor! He is a podiatrist and is allergic to bees. Whats a news story without an update? Nor did you know anything about the treatment of Apis mellifera

Gynecology 101

Finding yourself a suitable gynecologist will come down to personal preference, but the things you should look out for are:

• Trust, if you don't trust your doctor to sniff around your 'hive' for bees, then even routine check-ups may make you rather uncomfortable.

• Warm Hands is a must. There is nothing more off-putting about one of these visits than your pervert having cold hands, since he is working on your vaginal area. Cold hands mean cold fingers, and thus cold touch and cold stiff vagina which makes it unpleasant when they reach into the fish canyon with the jaws-of-life to clamp the clam open and go digging around in search of treasure.

• Non-Rusty ice-cream scoops. This one goes without much need to explain. You wouldn't eat an ice-cream if it was served to you with specks of rust on it would you? No, so think about who will be eating you out after your checkup. No one likes a rusted gate.

• Also be sure to check that the clinic isn't located in a back alley with a cardboard sign indicating the doctor is "in". Many homeless bums around the world pretend to be certified doctors in the field of Gynecology, just so they can scam a free meal out of you.

• And last but not least, and the most important thing to look out for. Make sure they are certified bee-catchers. There is nothing worse than having a doctor who is not experienced in the area they are servicing. I had a friend once who went for a checkup, but the doctor was a proctologist, and we all know they do not look for bees, they are only trained to look for gerbils.

Eulogy

Now that you have discovered the wonderful world of being a cunt doctor, we are certain you men will have found all the information you needed to know on the subject, and that you will need to be a professional bee catcher to take up this profession.

And as for you women, we hope you learnt something ^{something something something something something}

Kinda reminds us of that time Madonna posed for Playboy.