Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 5

December 5: Unwanted Advertising Day (U.S.)

1897 - Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he wants you to listen to Adele's brand new album, ready for the holiday season! Her lung noises make you feel sad, give her money!
1922 - The Coca-Cola Company debuts its famous Polar Bear mascot for the holiday season! The crisp, refreshing taste of our caramelized fizz water attracts even vicious arctic predators!
1998 - 100 billionth e-mail with subject line "Viagra is food for the soul" opened: Sponsored by Viagra: Penis Yours Big Penis Women Fuck™.
1970 - British funny-makers who are very popular with 18 to 34 year old internet income dispensers make funny skit about SPAM®! What a funny sketch! Spammity-spam! Hilarity! Buy our products.
2009 - Famous Chihuahua mascot of Tex-Mex food-service provider Taco Bell, Gidget, dies after one too many lines of cocaine. The fame went to his head! Commemorate this tragedy by buying one of our Doritos Locos Tacos (in cool ranch or fiery red spicy)!
2012 - Everyone decides that it's okay to put Twitter hashtags on commercials. Is this who we are as a species? Is this the reason why God has condemned use to die?

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