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- 753 BC - Rome is founded by Romulus and Remus, after building it in a day.
- 949 BC - A group of Romulans unable to get dates known as the Vulcans decide to leave Earth and start their own planet. (Pictured)
- 1350 - A Belgian man expects the Spanish Inquisition, and is promptly beaten to death.
- 1684 - Isaac Newton proposes the idea of "gravity", gravity skeptics float away into space.
- 1836 - Sam Houston gets into erotic pillow fight with Santa Anna and his sleepy Mexicans
- 1900 - Creamed corn is deemed just the thing to spice up that Sunday dinner.
- 2010 - The Spanish Inquisition expects the Spanish Inquisition, since of course they did they planned it.