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Today's featured article Foreign accent syndrome is a rare psychiatric disorder that, in its milder form, causes people it affects to pronounce words in a foreign accent. The disorder usually follows a brain injury caused by non-perforating head trauma, as perforating head trauma is much too gory for a proper mental illness. In extreme cases, victims of FAS can actually acquire knowledge of the foreign language associated with their new accent, slang terms and humorous exaggerated versions of national stereotypes included. A victim who develops a Lithuanian accent might acquire the Lithuanian language, tell other people to "Laizhyk asilo shikna", piss on bottles of Švyturys Ekstra, and date his sister. As of the present, there is no known cure or treatment for FAS, and scientists have yet to completely unravel how the disorder works. People afflicted with the disorder are usually shunned within their community and turned into social pariahs. Fortunately, there are government sponsored programs that let victims of FAS assimilate in foreign countries where their accents are accepted. (Full article...) Recently featured: CaseOh Conspiracy Theory Generator Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? John Marshall Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured) ... that you've just lost the game? ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else? ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser? ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy? ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's? ... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win? ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured) ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that You have to be lucky all the time, but we only have to be lucky once? ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering? ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven? ... that you've just lost the game? ... that you should invest in chicken stock? ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death? ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured) ... that you've just lost the game? ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else? ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser? ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy? ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's? ... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win? ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured) ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that You have to be lucky all the time, but we only have to be lucky once? ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering? ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven? ... that you've just lost the game? ... that you should invest in chicken stock? ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death? ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured) ... that you've just lost the game? ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else? ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser? ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy? ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's? ... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win? ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?	In the news He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey (Pictured); Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico • Smiling Friends On this day... February 28: Finnish Cultural Appreciation Day 1835 - The Finnish Tourism Board publishes the Kalevala, an obvious ripoff of Tolkien, and declares the day a national holiday. 1847 - American forces nearly capture the Mexican town of Chihuahua, but are quickly torn to shreds by packs of those selfsame canines. 1935 - Nylon is invented, to fill the niche of fabrics that don't sufficiently chafe your nipples. 1939 - The word dord is unjustly removed from the dictionary by pernicious grammarians with no sense of humor. 1991 - The Gulf War ends, troops glad they never have to go back to Iraq or the Middle East ever again. 1993 - The ATF lay siege to a cult compound in Waco, Texas, decide to use guns instead of trebuchets.
Today's featured picture GI Jew: The Movie is a 2006 remake of the classic Torah! Torah! Torah! of 1967 fame. The remake underwent many names before GI Jew was chosen, including Hebrews with Hutzpah and Israel is Real. Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Oh my god! There are no more days left! It's today or miss the boat to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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