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Today's featured article CaseOh (Celestial Anomaly of Stellar Enormity and Omnivorous Hunger) is a supermassive celestial object of indeterminate classification, predominantly suspected to be either a rogue star or a cluster of galaxies—or just maybe the interdimensional vortex first caught wind of in May 1998. Physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer famously theorised CaseOh to be supplied entirely by AC/DC (agglomerated/devoured comestible) power several months prior to his death in 2023, although other hypotheses regarding its increasing mass are widespread. CaseOh's exact mass is approximated to exceed 247 ronnagrams, and "clairvoyant" astrophysicists at NASA presume a supermassive black hole to thence manifest within succeeding decades. (Full article...) Recently featured: CaseOh Conspiracy Theory Generator Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? John Marshall Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse? ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society? ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one? ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears? ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like? ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore? ... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured) ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same? ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian? ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless? ... that I'm better than this person in particular? ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind? ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have? ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles? ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse? ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society? ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one? ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears? ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like? ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore? ... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured) ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same? ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian? ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless? ... that I'm better than this person in particular? ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind? ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have? ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles? ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse? ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society? ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one? ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears? ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like? ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?	In the news He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey (Pictured); Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico On this day... February 27: Making Banjo Noises With Your Mouth Day 1812 - Lord Byron writes a poem about the coy and inviting aroma of his own flatulence. 1860 - Abraham Lincoln makes a speech so angry and divisive it causes the Civil War, shame on you Mr. Lincoln. 1870 - Emperor Meiji of Japan spills marinara sauce on a white sheet, has a great idea for his country's flag. 1972 - Duh duh dum dum dum dum dum dum dum, duh duh dum dum dum dum dum dum dum... 1991 - George H.W. Bush takes over Iraq, as a gift to his son and future funnyman president, George W. 2007 - The Shanghai Stock Exchange falls 9% in one day, the economy might have been ruined were it not for the immortal ghost of Mao Tse-Tung. 2013 - Pope Benedict XVI resigns from the Papacy after 'accidentally' liking 39 Playboy posts and commenting 12 times. 2015 - Russian politician Boris Nemtsov dies after shooting himself in the back twenty-three times and stuffing himself inside a concrete-filled duffel bag.
Today's featured picture Now showing at all good Middle-Eastern warzones near you! Image credit: Olipro View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Clock is ticking! There's only one more day to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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