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Today's featured article Biffy Clyro is a Scottish rock band from Scotland. As well as being Scottish, nobody outside of the rainy isles has heard of them. The band is composed of one Scottish guy, and two other Scottish guys who are for some reason twins, even though they look nothing alike. During concerts, the trio are joined by musicians Mike Vennart and Dick "99% of Gamblers Quit Before They Win it Big" Ingram. Currently signed to 14th Floor Records, they have released at least six albums. Following the first three, their maybe-existent fan base grew to slightly larger numbers. As for who they actually are, I'm still not sure. I'm pretty sure they're a band, however. As well as being from Scotland, they are apparently very popular in the UK, which is not a place I've visited. As for their music... I'm not sure that exists either. (Full article...) Recently featured: Biffy Clyro Foreign accent syndrome CaseOh Conspiracy Theory Generator Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay? ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around? ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great? ... that no true Scotsman sugars his porridge, while every true Irishman does? ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings? ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand? ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men? ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets? ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured) ... that dihydrogen monoxide can kill you, specially if you breathe it? ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments? ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better? ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox? ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?" ... that you actually didn't know? ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace... ... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay? ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around? ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great? ... that no true Scotsman sugars his porridge, while every true Irishman does? ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings? ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand? ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men? ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets? ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured) ... that dihydrogen monoxide can kill you, specially if you breathe it? ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments? ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better? ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox? ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?" ... that you actually didn't know? ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace... ... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay? ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around? ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great? ... that no true Scotsman sugars his porridge, while every true Irishman does? ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings? ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand? ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men? ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?	In the news Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID to "protect the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter Paralympics • Saturn Awards Recent deaths: Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons On this day... March 11: Stop Hitting Yourself Day (Mexico) 536 - Pope Agapetus I roasts the first Easter Bunny in what becomes a spring tradition to Christians the world over. 1876 - The Industrial revolution makes its first major breakthrough with the invention of the Steam-Powered Accordian. 1943 - Anne Frank runs out of pencil lead on her mechanical pencil, has to use pen like a barbarian. 1990 - Lithuania declares independence from the Soviet Union, kills thousands of innocent Lenin statues. 2004 - Hundreds of bucking bulls are accidentally released onto the streets of Madrid during that tomato throwing festival, carnage ensues. 2006 - Adobe Potatochop is released and quickly becomes the most popular image-editing software among people with too much time on their hands. 2012 - In accordance with ancient Mayan prophecy, space-time collapses in upon itself.
Today's featured picture Artist representation of the famous Charge of the Chainsaw Brigade, a pivotal moment on the road to victory which demonstrated the wisdom of bringing Canadian lumberjacks into the war. Image credit: Asahatter View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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