Blink

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An advanced case of blink.

12:00

~ Oscar Wilde on the VCR clock

Blink is a computer virus/worm that affects all graphical user interfaces and most, if not all, text consoles. It is infamous for being the longest active computer virus in history, since nobody has been able to cure it. Blink is also well known as one of the only viruses that has the potential to cause serious damage on the Microsoft Windows platform. Blink is caused by script kiddies stealing code from other script kiddies to appear leet in front of script kiddies from whence they stole.

The earliest traceable evidence of blink dates back to 1969. While chatting on IRC, a computer nerd accidentally spilled coffee on his laptop. While he wallowed in pitiful angst, his laptop started to blink, and eventually lead to the invention of blink, coffee, Java, and laptops.

Blink mostly affects text, since the <blink> tag is one of the few HTML tags that webmasters actually know. Blinking images and banners are slightly less common. In some rare cases, mouse cursors, program windows, and even entire computers have been claimed to blink erratically, however such absurd claims have been considered a side effect of smoking muffins.

Blink is not to be confused with blinking, a terminal human disease, though the symptoms of each have disturbingly similar effects.

This is an example of blinking text. Annoying, isn't it...

Curing Blink[edit]

A sign that your computer may be infected.

Most operating system related blinking can be fixed by using anti-blink software.

Mozilla Users[edit]

Add the following lines of code to your user.js file in your Mozilla profile directory (user.js does not exist by default so create one if necessary)

// Blocks blinking text
user_pref("browser.blink_allowed", false);

Internet Explorer Users[edit]

Learn to synchronize your eye blinks to open only when the text is displayed, giving adequate time for hackers to phish your address bar and steal your email password.

Opera Users[edit]

Install the NoBlink widget and set Blink to Always Off (you may also want to do this for marquees and Firefox banners).

Safari Users[edit]

You should be happy that your computer has blink on it. I mean, you're using an Apple (or more recently, in Windows). Think about all the people that don't have an Apple computer. STFU N00B!!

Lynx Users[edit]

Luckily, this prehistoric browser is somehow immune to blink, and is a currently being investigated on how it is able to avoid such a clever and destructive computer virus. Go on and surf the web freely! (that is, until you want to look at porn)

See also[edit]