Doubleplusgood Article
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Orchids are a special family of temptress flowers that bloom around June, totally unlike conservative flowers with upstanding morals and family values. They have delicate bodies, slim stems, and deep orifices, with small follicles emanating from their lower inner region that open up once every 28 days or so to emit a rather fishy yet surprisingly fragrant scent in order to attract insects, which will invade their insides to help pollinate them.
Orchids are considered to be some of the most scrumptious flowers in the plant kingdom, and they are also utterly insatiable. No amount of pollination is enough. Whereas almost all other flowers would be satisfied with one insect pollinator per day, for Orchids, no amount of frequent diverse visitors is enough. They are so good at seduction, bumble bees are known to fight one another to the death in their attempt to mount the stamens of orchids and destroy their tall slender legs in the process. Only the strongest bees with the most cunning, deceptive, and charismatic qualities are able to beat other bees during the frenzied orchid mating season. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
- ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
- ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
- ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
- ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts?
- ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
- ... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
- ... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory?
- ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
- ... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
 - ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
- ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
- ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
- ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
- ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts?
- ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
- ... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
- ... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory?
- ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
- ... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
- ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
- ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
- ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
- ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
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In the news
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On this day...
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March 26: Fast Food Day (U.S.)
- 1845 - Fast food, then called fasting from food, is invented in Ireland: millions starve due to new trend.
- 1940 - First McDonald's restaurant opens in San Bernardino, California, life expectancy drops to levels unseen since the Civil War.
- 1965 - Fox in Socks, the first depiction of a modern-day rap battle, is published by Dr. Seuss.
- 1994 - After complaints from vegans, McDonald's switches from beef fat to vegetable oil for their fries, vegans celebrate, give money to company that kills millions of cows.
- 1997 - Someone orders an iced coffee from Starbucks, destroys the economies of three South American countries.
- 2011 - McDonald's attempts to make Happy Meals healthier, billions of apple slices rot inside their teeny plastic bags.
- 2016 - New FCC regulations on misleading advertising forces Carl's Jr. to release new 30 second ad of a fat man crying, alone.
- 2018 - Wendy's delivers epic clapback against dumb bitch on twitter with sesame seed allergy.
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