Doubleplusgood Article
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Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.
Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.
Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
- ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
- ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
- ... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
- ... that Iran is all set to invade itself?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?

- ... that The Great Toilet Paper Famine of 2020 was caused by Uncyclopedians?
- ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
- ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
- ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
- ... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?

- ... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
- ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
- ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
- ... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
- ... that Iran is all set to invade itself?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?

- ... that The Great Toilet Paper Famine of 2020 was caused by Uncyclopedians?
- ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
- ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
- ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
- ... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?

- ... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
- ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
- ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
- ... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
- ... that Iran is all set to invade itself?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
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