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Doubleplusgood Article In MS Paint With One Arm, While Furiously Masturbating, originally known simply as With One Arm, While Furiously Masturbating, is a popular postmodern interpretation, often applied to classical works. The scope of this style is not entirely limited to artwork, as well-known editions of Fyodor Dostoevsky's novel Crime and Punishment and Radiohead's sophomore album The Bends have been made in recent years. The style was born nameless some time during the middle ages, when a German sect of Gregorian monks in self-imposed isolation would practice the arts while pleasuring themselves to pass the time. The tapestries and manuscripts they created during these time were of unique design bearing almost no resemblance to those created by more conservative sects that frowned upon frequent masturbation. Lacking the intricacies and detailed engravings of their contemporaries, the work of the Seed-Wasters instead focused on the passion and entropy that lay beneath the surface of the artwork. This was, however, considered to be faint praise for a style that exhibited little to no effort and, occasionally, gratuitous semen stains. (Full article...) Recently featured: Rob Gronkowski Kirkification Osu! Maxipad Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons? ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst? ... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons? ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst? ... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?	In the news Too bad you can't customize this in the original. Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April (Pictured) Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day • Some big shot musical award • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota Recent deaths: The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Buffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenure • Denver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons • Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont Not dead: Eleven Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government On this day... February 3: Fuck a Groundhog Day 1834 - Wheeling Jesuit University is founded, alumni annoys everyone they meet by complaining about Wheeling Jesuit University. 1870 - The Fifteenth Amendment is ratified, guaranteeing voting rights for all people in about ninety or so years. 1933 - Adolf Hitler steals Austria, other Europeans demand he gives it back, but he covers his ears and goes "nananana." 1966 - The Soviet Union hides people inside tiny compartments to operate probes which land on moon. 1993 - Bill Murray finally escapes from a 10,000 year long time loop, will have to live with the knowledge he has fucked a groundhog at least twelve times. 1995 - First woman to pilot a Space Shuttle accidentally lands it on Europa, a moon on Jupiter.
Today's doubleplusgood picture One of the seven wonders of the pre-feminist movement, the Colossus of Barbie stands as a silent sentinel, ever-watching, over Toydom's "Valley of the Dolls." In an ode to its majesty, Percy Bysshe Shelley declared: That all the world remains, to seem, unchanged, Her triumph o'er the rivers, wrath, and range, Of her immortal gaze, fixed cold with steel, I dare not but apease her wealth with meal. But, yet, Man has not seen her to the test; What's more, pity I couldn't bugger her like all the rest. This is evidence that when the monument was built, people were of the belief that God was indeed a woman. Take that, Benedict XVI! Image credit: Prettiestpretty View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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