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Orchids are a special family of temptress flowers that bloom around June, totally unlike conservative flowers with upstanding morals and family values. They have delicate bodies, slim stems, and deep orifices, with small follicles emanating from their lower inner region that open up once every 28 days or so to emit a rather fishy yet surprisingly fragrant scent in order to attract insects, which will invade their insides to help pollinate them.

Orchids are considered to be some of the most scrumptious flowers in the plant kingdom, and they are also utterly insatiable. No amount of pollination is enough. Whereas almost all other flowers would be satisfied with one insect pollinator per day, for Orchids, no amount of frequent diverse visitors is enough. They are so good at seduction, bumble bees are known to fight one another to the death in their attempt to mount the stamens of orchids and destroy their tall slender legs in the process. Only the strongest bees with the most cunning, deceptive, and charismatic qualities are able to beat other bees during the frenzied orchid mating season. (Full article...)

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Did you know...

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... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia?
... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?

... that male and female giraffes have been banned from living together in the New York City Zoo since 1975? (Pictured)

... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
... that this in not a DYK entry?
... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings?

... that ‪Captain Autofellatio (Pictured) often gets distracted from crime-fighting?

... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia?
... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?

... that male and female giraffes have been banned from living together in the New York City Zoo since 1975? (Pictured)

... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
... that this in not a DYK entry?
... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings?

... that ‪Captain Autofellatio (Pictured) often gets distracted from crime-fighting?

... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia?
... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?

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On this day...
March 23: Take Your Fish To Work Day 139 AD - Roman historian Erraticus publishes the fourth version of Life of Trajan, this one portaying Trajan as an emperor and retracting the previous version's claims that Trajan was a talking donkey. 1097 - St. Peter's Basilica was first used outside of the Vatican city during the first Crusades. 1952 - Beloved British children's author Enid Blyton publishes her most famous work, The Three Golliwogs. Please don't google it. 1956 - Pakistan declares itself to be an Islamic Republic, which is like the Old Republic except without the Jedi. 1962 - Dozens of women march on Washington D.C. to politely request feminine rights, their husbands sit at home without their supper. 1974 - The last dirty liberal is sent to serve in the Vietnam War, rendering America a perfect utopia of conservatives for nearly eighteen months. 2026 - a Plane has love affair with A track, making the worlds first Plane-Firetruck hybrid. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

Today's doubleplusgood picture

The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear two days later after descending to the Recycle Bin, not three as some mathematically illiterate biblical scholars would tell you.

Image credit: Savethemooses
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

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