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Doubleplusgood Article

Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.

Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.

Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!

Hold on...

Why is my hair roller in here?

Wait...

This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?

Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.

Just a minute...

WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)

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Did you know...

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... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
... that no true Scotsman sugars his porridge, while every true Irishman does?
... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?

... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay?

... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl?
... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra?
...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
... that torture is better to give than to receive?

... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)

... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
... that no true Scotsman sugars his porridge, while every true Irishman does?
... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?

... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay?

... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl?
... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra?
...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
... that torture is better to give than to receive?

... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)

... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
... that no true Scotsman sugars his porridge, while every true Irishman does?
... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?

Archive – Suggest new entries

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On this day...
February 23: Vin Diesel Saying the Word "Family" Day 1455 - The Gutenberg Bible is first printed, God brags that he is now a published author. 1923 - Werner Heisenberg plans to describe the uncertainty principle to his peers, but is unsure if they'll like it or not. 1941 - Scientists first create Plutonium, but instead of getting cool superpowers they just get cancer and die. 1947 - The International Organization for Standardization is founded to make Americans feel insecure about the customary system. 1999 - Kurdish leader Abdullah Öcalan is sentenced to death by Turkey due to mustache jealousy. 2015 - Vin Diesel (Pictured) says the word family so many times it doesn't even sound like a word anymore. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

Today's doubleplusgood picture

It is evident that the car has come a long way since its original cardboard chassis design.

Image credit: Hindleyite
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