User:An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays/Newspeak

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Biffy Clyro (1).jpg

Biffy Clyro is a Scottish rock band from Scotland. As well as being Scottish, nobody outside of the rainy isles has heard of them. The band is composed of one Scottish guy, and two other Scottish guys who are for some reason twins, even though they look nothing alike. During concerts, the trio are joined by musicians Mike Vennart and Dick "99% of Gamblers Quit Before They Win it Big" Ingram. Currently signed to 14th Floor Records, they have released at least six albums. Following the first three, their maybe-existent fan base grew to slightly larger numbers. As for who they actually are, I'm still not sure. I'm pretty sure they're a band, however. As well as being from Scotland, they are apparently very popular in the UK, which is not a place I've visited. As for their music... I'm not sure that exists either. (Full article...)

Did you know...

Don Adams.jpg
  • ... that the bird is the word? (Pictured)
  • ... that there is one imposter among us?
  • ... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
  • ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
  • ... that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
  • ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
What'shisname0.jpg
  • ... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
  • ... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
  • ... that you've just lost the game?
  • ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
  • ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
  • ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
  • ... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
Don Adams.jpg
  • ... that the bird is the word? (Pictured)
  • ... that there is one imposter among us?
  • ... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
  • ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
  • ... that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
  • ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
What'shisname0.jpg
  • ... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
  • ... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
  • ... that you've just lost the game?
  • ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
  • ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
  • ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
  • ... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
Don Adams.jpg
  • ... that the bird is the word? (Pictured)
  • ... that there is one imposter among us?
  • ... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
  • ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
  • ... that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
  • ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?

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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


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