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Doubleplusgood Article Such woe, my bladder filled right to the brim, If but perchance I sought to take a leak Yet now my pantaloons now stainèd swim In urine which now dribbles down my feet! If only to the loo I'd gone posthaste, Such musings are the act of lesser men; My fav'rite pair of leggings would not waste, But truth be told, I'll piss my pants again. I never learned to listen to 'ol Blad My colon wretches yet I never poo Now brown and yellow mix with tidings glad, Instead of me relaxing on the loo. (Full article...) Recently featured: Lawrencium Rule of Thumb Europan hookmouth Hamster Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card? ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox? ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card? ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox? ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?	In the news Well, that says a lot... Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland (Pictured) Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year Some mega pop star and her boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay. NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes Trump presents new science project to Cabinet Uncyclopedia introduces AI Age Guesser™, petition nears 100,000 signatures Trump fires Zakk Wylde Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione" Epstein list predictions Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas "peace talks" • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • SNL cast exodus • K-pop: The Movie • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys Recent deaths: Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR • Cartoon Network on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence Stamp • The Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3) • Trump's pet sloth Upcoming deaths: DEI • R. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger (in jail) • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Dallas Cowboys' season • MSNBC • Lil Nas X • Donald Trump • Windows 10 On this day... September 14: Gřáťúïťõùš Üšę öf Ðîåçřïťíćãľ Mâřkš Ďàý (World) 1234 - The Duke of Umlaut invents the umlaut, becomes first Düke of Ümlaüt. He is later slain in a duel with Barón vön Accént Márk. 1969 - Björk is björn in a lönely fjörd in Nörth Ïceláãnd. 1970 - The metal band Blue Öyster Cult is förmed. 1983 - Hâägén-Dáãzs introduces their latest flavor: Döúblé Chérrÿ Crémë dé Chöcølãté Súprëmé, consumers die of "šûġař pōišoñïnĝ." 1985 - The metal bänd Gřåťüïťöüs Díåçřïtíćäľ Mäřk forms. 2003 - In a referendum, Sweden rejects ädopting the Euro, unless it is renämed the Eüro. 2005 - The metäl band Thîs Rûňńîñg Jøkê ïs Wêäríñg Öút îtš Wëlcømê forms.
Today's doubleplusgood picture Though the United States' new strategy in Iraq has proven effective at routing insurgent rebels, it has done little to relieve the stigma of what many perceive as American imperialism. Image credit: Thetoastman View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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