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At the end of the 2010 spring season, NBC canceled longtime staple Law & Order, a program that had run on the network for twenty consecutive seasons and been instrumental in wresting away viewers in the critical 65-and-older demographic from competing network CBS and the upstart Bingo Channel. The storied program has since become the most syndicated show in the history of television, often airing a cumulative seven hours between TNT, AMC and Bravo on any given weekday, not to mention providing the basis for Sam Waterston’s lucrative insurance commercial career. The show’s current heir-apparent is Law & Order: Los Angeles, a show that uses the exact same premise as Dick Wolf’s original brainchild, albeit with a different cast and setting. This incarnation of the show, however, was not the only Law & Order spinoff that NBC considered. (Full article...)

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Did you know...

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?

... that 10 minutes of Super Bowl XLIII was mysteriously interrupted? (Pictured)

... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?

... that 10 minutes of Super Bowl XLIII was mysteriously interrupted? (Pictured)

... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?

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In the news
1977-2026 So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • Seattle flooding the streets with Starbucks coffee to celebrate the Seahawks' win • New England Patriots fans hiding in a corner after being exposed • r/TheDarnold having a MASSIVE field day Recent deaths: Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • ~~Uncyclopedia~~ • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • New England Patriots fans' insufferability, for now • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek** (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured) Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
February 16: No Human Rights Day 1792 - Frenchmen reading Thomas Paine's Rights of Man take lessons to heart by beheading people they disagree with. 1859 - In an effort to curb loud noises, the French government passes a law to prevent sounds above 435 hertz from being heard in public. 1861 - American Civil War (Pictured) begins with argument over whether black people should be owned and mistreated or just kicked around and mistreated. 1991 - Yakov Smirnoff celebrates the dissolution of the Soviet Union by jumping off a cliff. 1950 - First time Nineteen Eighty-Four is used in a poorly conceived political metaphor. 1989 - Fisher Price wins contract to supply China with toy tanks to run over protesters. 2000 - Dick Cheney has sex with a horse, and centaurs are born. 2006 - The Republican Party legalizes the hunting of humans, to control overpopulation. 2010 - The War on Terror is re-named the War on people looking at you funny. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

Today's doubleplusgood picture

Experts advise against chlorinating the jean pool, as it causes the dye to bleed, and acid-washed jeans haven't been cool since '86.

Image credit: RadicalX
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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