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Platinum is an extremely expensive, yet highly ordinary metal. It is essentially one of over ninety silverly metals. Gold and Copper, the colorful ones, are the envy of Platinum to no end. Then why is it so expensive? Because Platinum is literally the most anti-social metal ever. It refuses to react with anything, even Halogens, and almost every single acid known to science can not even stain it. One thing that can react with it is Aqua Regia, meaning royal water. It is arrogantly so named because it can react with the kings of metals Gold and Platinum. Talk about ego!

Platinum is commonly used by people in high grade laboratory equipment and in jewelry for people who consider themselves too posh to use common gold jewelry. It can also be found residing in the Earth's crust at a concentration of roughly one part per billion. Platinum is the 78th element of the periodic table, it is derived from the Latin word "Platina" which literally means "Little silver", despite costing roughly 60 times more than silver. (Full article...)

Did you know...

06052009.jpg
  • ... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured)
  • ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny?
  • ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
  • ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
  • ... the muffin man?
  • ... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise?
  • ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
  • ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
Pigpen.PNG
  • ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
  • ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
  • ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
  • ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?
  • ... no, you didn't! Stop lying!
  • ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle?
  • ... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem!
  • ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
06052009.jpg
  • ... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured)
  • ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny?
  • ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
  • ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
  • ... the muffin man?
  • ... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise?
  • ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
  • ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
Pigpen.PNG
  • ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
  • ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
  • ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
  • ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?
  • ... no, you didn't! Stop lying!
  • ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle?
  • ... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem!
  • ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
06052009.jpg
  • ... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured)
  • ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny?
  • ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
  • ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
  • ... the muffin man?
  • ... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise?
  • ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
  • ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?

In the news

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1977-2026

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein FilesWinter OlympicsSeattle flooding the streets with Starbucks coffee to celebrate the Seahawks' win • New England Patriots fans hiding in a corner after being exposed • r/TheDarnold having a MASSIVE field day

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Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek)

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • WeedDick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again

On this day...

Mmm crunchy.

February 15: It Just Got Out Of Hand Day

Today's doubleplusgood picture

Uncyclopedia's patron, Oscar Wilde, dropping the truth on you bitches.
Exodus 32:
15 And Wilde turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony were in his hand: the tables were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other were they written.
16 And the tables were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God, graven upon the tables.

Image credit: Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron.
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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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