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The Buffalo Bills are a "professional" football "team". Their home is in Buffalo, New York. They are widely regarded as one of the most successful NFL franchises to exist ever. Their only championships where in 1964 and 1965 when they won two AFL titles. However, the Bills have not won any championships since the AFL–NFL merger, a move that many now consider "a huge fuck up". They were owned by a 93-year-old zombie man who refused to die named Ralph Wilson. In 2014 Wilson finally kicked the bucket, fucking zombie! Buffalo Sabres owner, oil fracker, and resident idiot Terry Pegula bought the team.

The Buffalo Bills are named after Buffalo Bill, a friendly man who lived in the woods all by himself. He would have guests over frequently where they would stay in a well he constructed in his home. They would stay for several days putting lotion on their skin. Bill then proceeded to skin them alive and wear their skin. The founders of the Bills felt this sort of behavior was admirable.(Full article...)

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Did you know...

... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)

... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?
... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win?
... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?

... that Elvis is NOT dead? (Pictured)

... that Earth is the best planet in the world?
... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?
... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
... that there is no other word for thesaurus?

... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)

... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?
... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win?
... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?

... that Elvis is NOT dead? (Pictured)

... that Earth is the best planet in the world?
... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?
... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
... that there is no other word for thesaurus?

... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)

... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?
... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win?
... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?

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In the news
Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Elite Eight Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • DMV-based sitcom canned after people realize they can watch literally anything else • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too UnNews – Radio Free Lunch**
On this day...
March 30: International Cleavage Day 13B BC - God creates the Milky Way after squeezing stellar matter out of her insanely big knockers. 1692 - Twelve women are burned at the stake for inciting men to sin with their exposed bra straps. 1867 - America buys Alaska from the Russians because of its stiff Mountain peaks and vast tracts of fertile land. 1945 - Woman wears clothing that shows cleavage. The husband beats her. 1950 - The first film in Indonesia gets released, known for having at least one uncensored boob scene. 1977 - Marvel Comics designs a bra with a nipple window, claims its a proud Kryptonian tradition. 2012 - Big butts are now in! But you still can't be more than 120 pounds. Hey, I don't make the rules. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

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The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it.

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