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The high-brow comedy website that only Gods can edit. 40,982 chosen articles; created by the finest writers alive.
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Private Eye, that's what the letters spell out on the glass to the door of my office. New York City is a tough place to make a living and if you try to sing the blues you'll quickly find out that you're not even good enough to be another voice in the choir. Down on Broadway, it's a dog eat dog world so I make a little money on the side selling milk-bone underwear to hungry tourists or anything else that makes a sound like money. Anyone who lives here can smell the rat in this cheese factory but nobody's saying anything because having morals on Broadway is like celebrating mother's day at the orphanage - It makes you feel good but everyone stares at you like a nun in a string bikini. People don't normally need a Private Eye but when their chickens come home to roost it's a little like being the only cabbage farmer in town on St. Patrick's Day. Eventually they all show up at my door with a sob story and a dirty job that'll pay the bills. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
- ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
- ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
- ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts?
 - ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
- ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
- ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
- ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts?
- ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
- ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
- ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
- ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
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In the news
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On this day...
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March 8: International Men Without Penises Day
- 4000 BC - God creates Eve, Adam celebrates that he doesn't have to keep stroking it by himself.
- 4001 BC - Eve forces Adam to sleep outside the hut after expecting free handies without anything in return.
- 1919 - Women marching on Washington, D.C. seeking the right to vote cite Oscar Wilde's play A Woman of No Importance as an example of misogynistic views.
- 1935 - Sophia blesses the women of the Earth by giving them the G-Spot, although men are cursed to never find it.
- 1978 - Your mother is born. According to statistics, she likely experiences 18-34 years of relative ease before you are born.
- 2026 - Losers on 4chan and Reddit rant about how they never got the girl of their dreams (Pictured), despite being "nice guys."
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