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Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s. Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change. Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...) Recently featured: Bill Clinton Buffalo Bills UnGames:Garlic bread Orchid Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans? ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic? ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive? ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies? ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away? ... that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (Pictured) ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it? ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network? ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay? ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one? ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins? ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time? ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions? ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans? ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic? ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive? ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies? ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away? ... that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (Pictured) ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it? ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network? ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay? ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one? ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins? ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time? ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions? ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans? ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic? ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive? ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies? ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?	In the news Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Final Four Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season, choked away at the last moment Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too On this day... April 2: National Refrigerator Day (Paraguay) 1111 - The Knights Templar are formed as a clandestine drinking society, take things a little too far. 1942 - Classic arcade title 1942 developed as shoot 'em up, rights to year are purchased by Capcom, to the chagrin of some cranky veterans. 1983 - Science is invented by accident, and is quickly swept under the carpet. 1984 - Miniluv put crimethink proles into fridge, remake them goodthink fullwise. 2001 - The mailman bangs your mom, but she's her own person, you can't control who she loves. 2002 - The U.S. Kitten Embargo begins as part of The War Against Terror (Pictured), countless Iraqi kittens deported. 2012 - The number two renamed second one.
Today's featured picture DaVinci's Hewlett-Packard printer was to be the undoing of his most famous work, resulting in what art scholars have termed the "Mono Lisa." Hewlett Packard were unavailable for comment as the CEO was busy discussing a merger with Ferrari to create the world's first petrol powered printer. DaVinci is said to be in a closed door meeting with Dan Brown to discuss the implications of this event. Image credit: Nonymous View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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