Babel:Spb

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Today's featured article Albert Arnold "Al" Gore, Jr. (allegedly born March 31, 1948) is purported to be a prominent liberal spokesperson for and inventor of global warming and environmentalism. He is portrayed by the liberal media as an author, a businessperson, former journalist, inventor of the algorithm, and recipient of a scientific prize. According to Wikipedia, Gore has served as United States Vice President, Senator, and Representative, and has also served as a military journalist during the Vietnam War. However, despite efforts by the liberal media to prove otherwise, there is no completely irrefutable evidence that Al Gore exists. (Full article...) Recently featured: Foreign accent syndrome CaseOh Conspiracy Theory Generator Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries March 5: Jump to the Beat of the Party Line Day (Turkey) 1914 - Preparations for the wildest party known to mankind are well on their way 1947 - The wildest party known to mankind begins today, death tolls are still rising. 1991 - Emperor George Bush, Sr. takes over all of the Americas, except Hawaii. 1999 - The party almost stops over fear of the Y2K Bug. Then someone gets a fly swatter. Party continues. 2006 - Party nearly ends due to sudden Bird Flu epidemic. Ends with Bird Flu being deported to Britain and the death of Big Bird. Party Continues. 2008 - Aliens invade the Eastern Seaboard, destroying the cities of New York and Washington, D.C., party suspended until Will Smith blows up their mothership. 2148 - End of the World, the Turks party in Heaven, with Allah, Buddha and Jesus. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day shiny Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran Recent deaths: Team Canada's pride • Some nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, et. al, Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured) ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life? ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was? ... that this is why we can't have nice things? ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania? ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now? ... that I'm better than this person in particular? ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured) ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one? ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously? ... that I'm better than this person in particular? ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time? ... that this is why we can't have nice things? ... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO! ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die? Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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