Babel:Spb

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Today's featured article Biffy Clyro is a Scottish rock band from Scotland. As well as being Scottish, nobody outside of the rainy isles has heard of them. The band is composed of one Scottish guy, and two other Scottish guys who are for some reason twins, even though they look nothing alike. During concerts, the trio are joined by musicians Mike Vennart and Dick "99% of Gamblers Quit Before They Win it Big" Ingram. Currently signed to 14th Floor Records, they have released at least six albums. Following the first three, their maybe-existent fan base grew to slightly larger numbers. As for who they actually are, I'm still not sure. I'm pretty sure they're a band, however. As well as being from Scotland, they are apparently very popular in the UK, which is not a place I've visited. As for their music... I'm not sure that exists either. (Full article...) Recently featured: Biffy Clyro Foreign accent syndrome CaseOh Conspiracy Theory Generator Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries March 11: Stop Hitting Yourself Day (Mexico) 536 - Pope Agapetus I roasts the first Easter Bunny in what becomes a spring tradition to Christians the world over. 1876 - The Industrial revolution makes its first major breakthrough with the invention of the Steam-Powered Accordian. 1943 - Anne Frank runs out of pencil lead on her mechanical pencil, has to use pen like a barbarian. 1990 - Lithuania declares independence from the Soviet Union, kills thousands of innocent Lenin statues. 2004 - Hundreds of bucking bulls are accidentally released onto the streets of Madrid during that tomato throwing festival, carnage ensues. 2006 - Adobe Potatochop is released and quickly becomes the most popular image-editing software among people with too much time on their hands. 2012 - In accordance with ancient Mayan prophecy, space-time collapses in upon itself. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day sandwich Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID to "protect the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter Paralympics • Saturn Awards Recent deaths: Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that ‪Captain Autofellatio (Pictured) often gets distracted from crime-fighting? ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more? ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards? ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together? ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"? ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have? ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today! ... that Joe Biden stepped in dog shit? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... that 10 minutes of Super Bowl XLIII was mysteriously interrupted? (Pictured) ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life? ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science? ... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd? ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane? ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat? ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS? ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave? Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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