User:NotJohnDoe/Battle of Hiroshima

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Battle of Hiroshima
Great Advance of Armerican Heavy Bombers
Date August 6, 1945 – August 6, 1945
Location East Asia
Result Decisive Allied Victory with the Surrender of Japan
Japan Annexed by the United States of America
United States United States
Japan Japan
Commanders and leaders
United States Brig. Gen. Paul W. Tibbets Japan Mayor of Hiroshima
Japan Leader of Girl Scouts
Japan Astroboy
Japan A few cops two days away from retirement
Japan Someguy
Japan The General on his first day
~6(1945) ~255,000 (1945)
Casualties and losses
dead: 0
wounded: 0
Total dead: ~0
Total wounded: ~0
Japan Japan
dead: ~70,000.5
wounded: ~140,000.5
dead by 1950:~200,000+
Total dead: ~70,000.5
Total wounded: ~140,000.5
Total dead by 1950:~200,001+

The Battle of Hiroshima is most likely one the greatest American Victories in the Pacific Theatre during World War II. Many historians agree that the strategy used to invade and attack the city is a work of genius. The battle lasted approx 12 hours including transit while the actual conflict lasted 5 seconds but many sources suggest 8 or some half a second. With the recent limited successes in the Pacific Theatre the US Commanders and Deciders in Washington needed to come up with a strategy that could provide enough News to Distract them from the fact World War II was over. Therefore Truman the Terrible decided as the Decider of the United States of America that most effective invasion of Japan must be with a squad of 3 bombers. Therefore the best Bombing Divison also known as Humanitarian bombing Division was called to liberate Japan. The Airplane or Flying Machine picked was the Alona Gay that Westboro Baptist Church picketed aganist both at the Airbase and in Hiroshima. The First Newspaper and News Source to report on the Battle and the victory was of course UnNews Limited that ran the story right after a confirmation (A huge mushroom cloud).

At the Time Fox News was still reporting on Hitler's Death and Latest Fashions from Paris while PBS was broadcasting an impressive 6 feet in diameter from its studios. The Public reaction to the Bombing was at the time "Hell, Yea" with this patriotic ferver the Government Planned many more bombings also known as "Operation Japanese Glass". After drawing up the plans, fueling the planes, building the bombs, calling the babysitter, Having a parade, getting interviewed on the View, Drinking heavily the night before, having the stripper party and bragging that we'll drop another Atomic Bomb on the Japan specifically Kyoto the Japanese had to ruin this great day by surrendering to the USA what an anti-climax. Many thought that Japan would at least kept on going for two more rounds but what Cowards this very unamerican act ruined this Great Day.

Background to the 1945[edit]

At the Time, the US was recovering from the Japanese Terrorist Attack on Pearl Harbour where American Merchent Marines were stationed, delivering supplies to locals and providing medical aid in Hawaii along with this Children were playing, Old People enjoying the day and saying their generation surivied WWI, people complementing each other and general happiness and peace. When All of a sudden the sky darkened and birds began flying away, animals were howling and acting strangly. This is when PFC someguy spotted something strange, he spotted tens, no hundreds, no thousands, no ...(lets fast forward)... and as it would turn out one hundred trillion and one Zero Fighters[1] filled with to the teeth of Japanese Terrorists all heading towards Pearl Harbour as stated in Offical Reports. Then They began to massicare the local merchent marines, children, WWI Veterians and All-American Americans it was raining bullets and fire as they destroy Supply ships, Cruise Liners and houses luckly our Heros in Blue were taking them out easily with the Anti-Air Guns but then they realised they never could fight us with Unamerican Aircraft so they do the most cowardly thing imaginable... they fly into the Ships, buildings and AA Guns they call this Kamakaziayziuahu or something unamerican. So this Terrorist Act of Evil had to be avenged so after 4 years of planning and after World War II the United States began Operation Upfall to Liberate Japan from the Japanese, However the amount of causalities that an invasion would invoke for the USA was unacceptable (greater than one deaths) therefore the Truman Regime needed something fresh and hip not old-school the opinion polls rank better for new and hip politicans.

Preparation and Strategy[edit]

This was the amazing strategy needed to take and Liberate Hiroshima

At the time, there was a new technology called Nuclear fission that could equal a fraction of the power of Chuck Norris this of course was a breakthru also Chuck Norris was not happy. With this technology they now needed a straregy and commander luckly they found both with the Tactician and an amazing pilot Paul Tibbets his proposed strategy and on-field tatics is probably why 6 soliders managed to inflict 200,001 enemy casualites while taking none. The plane chosen for the battle was 43-78978979876876 or as he called it Enola Gay or the 'Gay' Plane and it's 'Gay' Crew also this was the flagplane of the 'Gay' Squardron that the Westboro Baptist Church objected aganist the name at both the airbase and at Hiroshima. The Decider of the United States then authorisied the plan and gave the ok to load the plane with the secret weapon. The Strategy was as ingenius as it was simple it involved flying directly towards the city and then returning to the airbase. Many to this day congratualte his exit strategy that military commanders today have diffcultly with today.

The Battle[edit]

On the 6th of August 1945, Brg. Gen. Tibbets landed on the shores of Hiroshima with his rear support of two bombers and Japanese Warcity was knew he was comming and were prepared in force. Immediately the Japanese Heavy Guns were blazing, However the Cunning Tibbets was several thousand feet in air but then he encountered his arch-nemisies The Mayor of Hiroshima and his righthand man The Imperial General of the Girl Scouts never have these two titans have actually engaged in the same battle before this was truly one of the Greatest American Victories of World War 2. After the inital landing they were making slow progress into Hiroshima or the engine's RPM decreased eitherway the Japanese were not making easy for Tibbets to make a beachead. Also by now the Japanese Airforce was already in the Air with their 1st, 2nd and 4th Paper Airplane Divison in the air and catching up to the bombers. Tibbets needs to improve his tatics when at a turn of luck the Japanese Aerial Fighters began losing altitute for no apparent reason and crashed from a height of 20.6 feet. But Tibbets had more problems such as his first Luitentent Someguy was Shellshocked and he had to punch him in the face to calm him down. When the Timer on the Atom Bomb reached 4 minutes and he realised activating it hours before the drop was not good idea and had to focus on the Battle. At this point neither side had causlites but this little comfort to Tibbets.

The Turing Point and Complication[edit]

As the Flagplane or 'Gay' Squadron Leader was making progress into the Heart of the City where the Command Building was located and his arch-nemisis The Mayor was waiting and looking at Unamerican cartoons.On the 6th of August 1945, on the right his 2nd Gunner Someguy spotted the feared Villan to many American Comics Astroboy who was rendered in the Satanic unamerican Animusiudyiau. Astroboy blew a hole in the left side of the 'Gay' Bomber and Astroboy had a showdown with Tibbets first, Astroboy fired his left arm into Tibbets face but since he is invinisible this didn't affect him. Luckly Tibbets had a Mortar Launcher and fired it directly at Astroboy killing or at least giving Astroboy a bruse and prepell him off the 'Gay' Plane. He then returned to Controls and took it off Autopilot. With this the Imperial Commander of the Girl Scouts had to act therefore all of his Divisions fired Cookies into the air but to the ingenius manuvours performed by Tibbets and the fact they didn't go higher than 120 feet. But Tibbets then realised that the Timer was 01:87 and also who ever made it had no idea how time works.On the 6th of August 1945, The Mayor of Hiroshima was handed the Red Folder, that was given when it was apparent that the city was going to fall and it said...

To the Supreme Commander,

In the Event of the City of Hiroshima was going to taken by an enemy force Intellengence has found that final defense technique known as 'Duck and Cover' might only be the choice. Where you or other lay on the ground with their heads covered to protect them from the Blast or Impact.

Ministry of Defense, Japan

However, the Red Folder was not that much aid considering that it was written in American, something that The Mayor did not understand. Moments away from defeat the Imperial Commander of Girl Scouts killed him self the Unamerican Way with a Kanatatashsawia and then The Mayor attempted to escape using the Helipad and Helicopter enroute before he realised this isn't Saigon and ran into the underground escape tunnels. However by this time considering he went to the top of building then back down into the basement to escape was too late.

The Victory[edit]

Meanwhile, Tibbets was approaching the Gates of the City Hall and then he breached it with 32 seconds to spare and then using his cunning strategy and tactic known as 'Release the Bomb'. Then he waited and his crew were in silence but then Second Gunner Someguy cracked a joke "That's gotta hurt". Then Ka-boom or the Sound of American Victory shook the landscape as well as Japanese Liberation. Luckily the Second Rear Bomber filmed the entire thing they do instant replays and slow-motion footage with that reel back in the USA and also was shown on Funniest Home Videos twice. But Tibbets was not going to bogged down in Hiroshima and said "we gotta get back". His Exit Strategy was not going to be compromised to have a parade in Hiroshima or Recieve the Key to the City and thanks for Liberation from Japan[2]. And on the 6th of August 1945 he left Hiroshima with his entire army as the people cheered or were screaming it was diffcult to tell. Tibbets was overjoyed due to his recent victory over the scurge of the Pacific. Once he arrived at his base he was cheered and given flowers for his Heroic act and indisbutable bravey over 255,000 Japanese Civilans and the fact that his strategy inflicted no human causalites however many Unamerican Actvist groups were very unamerican and did all they could to prevent this such as Protesting and Sending letters but this was no match to Good old US Tanks. When various government officals wanted to give him the Metal of Honor for defeating the Greatest Amount of the Enemy while inflicting none. However, the Liberals and Communists sabotaged his chances and ultimately became the unsung Hero of World War 2. With the Victory Japan Realised that with the loss or at least wounding of Astroboy their Military could not standup to the American Military might.


After the Victory and Liberation of Hiroshima, Many Japanese Military Commanders were not going to let the Liberation of one city affect their Grand Strategy affected by Recent American Victories and were determined to retake Hiroshima or What was left of the City that once known and refered to the city of Hiroshima when they sent a scout plane they realised that rubble and dead bodies were not that much military value in the long-run so they ambandoned it. But still did not surrender until another Great American Victory that was far into the Future. Still Truman the Terrible the Grand Decider of United States of America issued

"If they do not not accept our terms, they may expect a rain of ruin from the air the likes of which has never been seen on this earth and all of the anime crap will burn in firely pits of hell and USA will exterminate all people of Japan or Japanese descent on the face of the Earth and/or any body you inhabit until the day you surrender. HWAWAWAW
-Harry the Terrible Truman

However the Emperor still was not conviced since he could not understand American and then Soviets declare War on the God-Forsaken Japanese Scum[3]. Also Westbro Bapist Church Setup the Website that presented it views.

Media Coverage[edit]

The title 'Little Boy dropped on Japan Thousands die' was at the time misleading

The First newspaper or News Source was of course UnNews Limited that reported on the story of this Great American Victory and Liberation of Hiroshima from Japan, followed by Fox News and then PBS. Fox News presented this as one of the Greatest Military Victories for the United States of America ever, along with this 6 interviews with Paul Tibbets, having Bill O'Reily Sr. Kiss Tibbets Feet and Cream himself, A Series on the Evils of Japan and Replay the Explosion at least 12 times a hour twice with funny music. While PBS interviewed a World War I veterian who says that it was a appailing and Tactican from some probabbly Public University says that it saved lives and also Possible Consquences from these bombings on locals and Politics. Unnews of course got interviews from the people who actually were at blast and plently of Graphs and very acurate misinformation on the event. Various Unamericans were appalled from this Event these include Albert Einstien and generally Liberals they argue that attacking Civilians is Evil and is a crime aganist humanity while rational people knew that by bombing a city full of civilans we're bound to hit someone that involved in someway with the military it's simple statistics and probbablity[4]. Fox News of course had petitioned for Tibbets to recieve the Metal of Honor but the Liberal infected Government was sabotaging their efforts that ultimately failed.

The title 'Fat Man dropped on Japan Thousands die' was also at the time misleading

Luckily, With the Liberation of Nagasaki, the Sequal to the Liberation of Hiroshima where he Heroically Liberated a Japanese city from Japan, again inflicting thousands of enemy causilites while inflicting none still was not enough but a statue was setup outside Fox News Offices in his Honor. However, the Liberal Media were painting a picture of Death, Destruction, Radiation and General Unamerican Communist Attitute. However, Tibbets the man that will go down in History as the man who had highest kills ever that could possibly rival Chuck Norris and Steve Ballmer, he still did recieve the congratulations from the Decider of the United States and a nation in his debt but a the time the USA was in debt to many people so he was not that special.


The momument for Tibbets placed in Hiroshima in his heroic actions and in his honor

This Battle that United States Partipated in is most likely the Greatest Armerican Victory ever along with the most people liberated as well as fact no Armericans were harmed and in the shortest time too that could rival the Iraq War(2001-2003). Also we showed Japan what happens when they Fuck with USA, they'll never ever again attack our Holiday resorts without some serious explaining. Also After, we actually landed on Japan were it was safe, we made sure that they never can threaten USA again but we still regret the line "no limitation on industrial production". Tibbets published his Memoirs "Paul Tibbets: The man that dropped both the Fat Man and Little Boy on Japan" that showed the strategy and tatics were well-made if you have absolutly regard for Civilian deaths. In the end, Everyone Won the Japanese were Liberated, USA got their Victory and Public Opinion Points, Tibbets got his Book published, Enola Gay becomes one of the most awsome planes ever - even with that name, Some Westbro Bapist Church members got killed, Truman the Terrible got his name down in History as one of America's Greatest Conquerers, Hollywood got a great ending for World War 2 and Everyone Lived Happily ever after.


  1. As Stated on Conservapedia, Tora,Tora,Tora, Truman's Report
  2. Fox News Correspondant insider info
  3. Offical Bill O'Reily Name
  4. 1 in 9877 military in typical Japanese city

See Also[edit]

Chuck Norris
World War 2
PFC Someguy
2nd Gunner Someguy
Co-Pilot Otto


The correct Wikipedia
Fox News
UnNews Limited
Book: Paul Tibbets: The man that dropped both a Fat Man and a Little Boy on Japan
Book: CIA Worldfact Book
Book: Unamerica; The True Story