The View
“They scare me, man.”
“They're estrogen-u-ine.”
“You think by talking over each other means you're better than everyone else? WELL WHAT IF I DID THIS IN EVERY DAY LIFE? HUH? DO YOU THINK I'D MANAGE NOT TO BE STRUCK IN THE HEAD BY A MACK TORCH? HUH, BARBRA? HUH?”
The View is a multi-Emmy Award award winning American daytime television talk show, that ran under the tile the Rosie O'Donnell Show, but was later re-branded when the show added Rosie O'Donnell's best friend Elisabeth Hasselbeck to co-host. The ratings suffered because Rosie and Elisabeth's round table discussions were free of conflict because both agreed on every issue. Sensing trouble, the other producers Bill Gates and Jessica Simpson added Joy Behar and Barbara Walters for sex appeal.
It is produced and videotaped at ABC's television studio on West 666th Street in Killeen, Texas and is the first and only show on ABC's daytime schedule to broadcast in high definition. It airs live on the east coast Monday-Thursday, and is on tape most Fridays, with Friday's show typically taped on Wednesday or Thursday following that day's live show. The show begins live in the East Coast at 11:00:05 AM (sometimes 11:00:07 AM), and at 10:00:00 AM on the West Coast.
The concept of The View is to showcase women with a range of perspectives. The show opens each day with "Hot Topics" (or Hot Flashes in Joy's case) in which the co-hosts provide their commentary on the day's top headlines in politics and adult entertainment, their female cycles as well as their sexual fantasies and performance.(Gag...)
The View is a show about old ladies yelling over each other. The show is intended to be about covering topics such as attempts at talking politics.
The current logo for the program is a stylized "V", symbolizing the phrase "vagina with sand".
Flat Earth[edit | edit source]
The view is in fact, a bunch of lesbos talking about shitty problems.One of the women on the view honestly didn't know whether the world was flat or round. No joke. She said she never thought about it because she was "busy thinking about feeding her child". "Feeding her child to what?", I ask. That is beside the point. She obviously has had this child since the day she was born and has some kind of disorder which prevents her from thinking about more than one thing over the period of about 40 years, because she has never had the opportunity to think about what shape the world is. What a douche, seriously. What ever happenEd to..... ROBOT JONES!
Warning[edit | edit source]
If a heterosexual man watches the show, he will start to internally hemorrhage, simulating a period. Through prolonged exposure, blood will pour from his eyes, until he performs fellatio on another man or Star Jones.
Guest stars[edit | edit source]
Here are just some of people who stared on The View
- Tom Cruise-He talked about his up coming film on how he took over Germany in 1930 and made everyone convert to Scientology. (He also promoted this new line of upholtery cleaners.)
- Ann Coulter- Talked about how she became a bitch!
- Donald Trump- Discussed the EVIL's of Rosie O' Donnell with Rosie listening, this started the loudest, longest, stupidest bitch fight in talk show history! Eventually the producers got a cattle prod an used it to restore order to the hen house.
- Hilary Clinton- Talked about her future plans for world domination after winning the 2008 election.
- Hugo Chavez- talk about how he came to power and took over Venezuela and how he likes hitler so much
- Bush- well no he didn't really, well I guess. A monkey appeared on a show that day I can tell you that much.
- Oprah Winfrey- Talked about about the progress of her current phase of world domination as well as her new goal to quit eating babies and lose over 800lbs in a week. She also talked about how she is such a great prostitute she is and how clean her brothel was.
- Paris Hilton-Talked about her plan to have sex with every man on planet earth under 60.
- Joan Rivers- Talked about being the first person to have 100% botox for blood.
- O.J. Simpson- Talked about his upcoming book If I were Hitler~By O.J. Simpson A real novel
- Kate Gosselin- Sobbed about her divorce from John. Took an IQ test and received a 5 (a higher score than Elisabeth and Sherri received combined).
- The Zodiac- talked about his up coming film I killed 13 people a true story about him and his crazy killing sprea and no one could catch him
- Gayle King- talked about her creepy obsession with her so called "BFF" Oprah Winfrey. She also talked about her upcoming auto-biography I Know Oprah and You Don't.
- Anderson Cooper- talked about how gorgEous and amazing he was, and seemed to stress the fact that he is not gay.
- Osama bin Laden-talked in a language no one could understand and got very angry at times. The rest of the hosts pretended to know what he was saying and some how got him into a conversation on whether Sarah Palin's thoughts on gay marriage were constitutional or not.
- Bea Arthur- spent a very short time on the view after she showed her Penis to Rosie O'Donnell and tried to receIve a Blowjob but security grabbed her and escorted out where she was put in a police car.
- Bill Maher- walked on the show, bitched at Elisabeth for five minutes, laughed for two, and engaged in a heavy make out session whiCh involved some grabbing and Oral sex with Joy Behar
- Raven Symone- talked about how she was catfished to be here, thinking it was The Ellen DeGeneres Show
- Your mom- talked about how she got so fat in just 80 days
- You- talked about how much space was taken up by your mom in 80 days