User:Madnesspersonified/Conservapedia releases Top 10 Jesus Freaks list
|
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
2 January 2010
Conservapedia H.Q., U.S.A
Conservapedia.Com,the only encyclopedia that has approval from the Late Jesus Christ yesterday released it's list of Top 10 Jesus Freaks(also known as People who admire Jesus) List.
These are the people who are are being honoured for their opposition to Uncyclopedia,Wikipedia,Atheism,Science,Rationalism,Homosexuality,Jews,Muslims,Hindus,Buddhist etc etc and of course for their serious lack of Common sense(which is the essential prerequiste to be an Admirer of Jesus ).Said Andrew Schlafly,Founder and the chief Administrator of Conservapedia.
The number-one Jesus Freak of the Century is Fred Phelps,Founder of Westboro Baptist Church,The Church with the most members in the world. Conservapedia contributors cite him for his opinions that U.S. Constitution was written by Gays,and Swedish people and hence they should be given capital punishment for making Americans abide by the rules of the constitution and not the Bible.In addition, another senior administrator at Conservapedia described Phelps thus:
Phelps is a distinguished Intellectual and Thinker who understands that the Constitution is not a Ouija board, plus he can relate to Americans who accept Christ as their Messiah and not the Beatles or Harry Potter. His silence protest marches condemning American policies in support of Homosexuality and Non Beleivers in Christ,show his tolerance and greatness
Schlafly went further:
For many years he has withstood intense pressure to become more liberal in order to win the media accolades given to less accomplished men. With sincerity, insight, and good spirit,Fred Phelps has become an inspiration for a generation of Americans at a time when there seem to be few role models in public life. His autobiography, published in 2007, traces his path from the most humble roots to the pinnacle of power, and yet he never flinched from his principles as so many others in America do.
The immediate runners up to Phelps were those people who spread ,propounded, supported, voted for, and defended Conservapedia and Christianity's view of the world and the universe.
The List is as Follows:
- Fred Phelps-(Anti-Gay Campaigner who doesn't realize that his intense love for Jesus and his Book is Homosexuality)
- Adolf Hitler-(For Helping Jews in germany in the true spirit of Christ)
- Jerry Falwell-(For proving that Tinky Winky was a notorious Homosexual who was seducing children away from the Saviour,Jesus
- George W. Bush-(For spreading christ's message by invading Iraq)
- Benedict XVI-(For delivering Christ's Message that Condom(Satanic invention) shouldn't be worn on God's Gift
- Benny Hinn-(For Proving that though Christ was poor,his admirers will always be rich)
- Josemaría Escrivá - For supporting Francisco Franco in His Holy Rule of Spain through Opus Dei
- Jonas Brothers - For following in christ's footsteps of not having sex before marriage(Yes Christ Fucked Mary Magdalene only after their Marriage according to Dan Brown)
- Pat Robertson- For causing Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Ike by the power of his Prayers to wipeout out Atheists,Hindus,Muslims and Homosexuals so that they can rot in Hell
- Andrew Schlafly-For creating this list and providing an Unbiased encyclopedia in oppostion of the Biased Liberals Wikipedia and the Satanism supporting Uncyclopedia
In addition conservapedia wants a ban on Uncyclopedia and UnNews for ridiculing them.Said Schlafly.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Andrew Schlafly "Top 10 conservatives of conservapedia" Conservapedia, December 31, 2009