User:Alpha Quintesson/Junkbox

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Just a place for random...junk.

Car Manufacturers

Crapmobile vehicles[edit]

Model P

  • Miserable Old Dead Engines Lack Power
  • Mediocre Old Dead Engines Leak Pitifully


  • Tender Loving Crap
  • The Lesbian's Chevy
  • The Lesbian's Club
  • That Little Chicken (Not the OTHER one)
  • That Little Cocksucker
  • Timid International Concert
  • Trades & Labor Council
  • Turning Life Cocky
  • Testicle Licking Cancer
  • The Lovely Cake
  • Things Like Cabs
  • Ticks Leak Cunts
  • The Living Cum


  • Molest All The Hippies
  • Molten Asphalt Tastes Hyper
  • Marijuana And The Heroin

Loyola vehicles[edit]

Loyola Navarre. Nissan ripped off Loyola, so Loyola sued Nissan for EUR70,000,000
  • Lada Owes You (the) Only Left (side of your) Arse
  • Lobos y olla (Means "The Wolves and the Bong" in Spanish) Or Lodozal.
  • Look Out, Your Ought (to) Look Ahead!
  • Looking Our Yen Out Like America (does)

Chrysler vehicles[edit]


For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Alpha Quintesson/Junkbox.
Dodge Scapegoat replaces Aries and RAM models


  • Charged High Retail, You'll Subsidise Lee's Early Retirement
  • Company Has Recommended You Should Learn Engine Repair


  • Department of Defense Garage Equipment
  • Daily Overhauls Do Get Exhausting
  • Dead Once Dealer's Guarantee Expires
  • Dead On Day Guarantee Expired
  • Dead Or Dying Gutless Engines
  • Drips Oil Drops Grease Everywhere
  • Dykes Or Dads Grasp Enemas
  • Dicks On Da Grating Erection Bringing All Lesbians Live
These Dodge balls frickin' hurt!


  • Automobiles Rusted In Every Section
  • Anus Risen In Emilia (and) Spain


  • Darned Underside Seems Totally Eaten, Rusted


  • New Engines Often Needed
  • Nothing Especially Original Now


  • Some Hopeless And Decrepit Old Wreck


  • Move over people are racing


  • Some Pieces Inevitably Ruined In Transmission
  • Simply Pitiful, Idiotic Rickshaws In Traffic


  • Please Let Your Mom Out (from) Under The Hood


  • Follows U Relentlessly, Yikes!


  • Just Enough Engine Power
  • Junk, Each, Every Part
  • Just Empty Every Pocket

GM vehicles[edit]


  • Big Ugly Import Car Killer
  • Butt Ugly Idiot's Car Keys
  • Bucking Up Illiterate Car's Kamikaze


  • Lets Everyone See Another Bastard's Rich Expenditure
  • Little Endorsement So All Become Rarely Executed
Vlad the Impala


  • Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
  • Cheap Heap Eats Valves Yearly
  • Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
  • Crack Hor Eats Vonbitch Ratefuck Out Errection Tittyshittings
  • Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leakes Every Time
  • Cocaine Hits Everyone's Virginity & Youth


  • Government Motors
  • Gay Magnum
  • Good Manners
  • Giddy-Up Mark
  • Garage Man


  • Gotta Mechanic Coming
  • Generally Mediocre Crankcase
  • Get My Coveralls
  • Generic Made Chevy
  • Garage Mechanic's Companion
  • Gas Mileage's Crappy
  • Gandalf's Mother's Car
  • Gay Man's Cruiser
  • Gay Man's Chevy
  • God's Most Chosen
  • Garages Main Customer
  • Genitalia Mark Crusaders


  • Out Looking Dumbass Saabs
  • Original Looking Dick Sap
  • Oh Lord, Demonstrate Some
  • Okay, Let's Do Something


  • Old People Ending Lives
  • Orgasming Persian Encountering Lord
  • Opal's (my) Pet. Ejaculate Lemons.


  • Poor Ol' Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac
  • Penis On Naughty Tits In A Car
  • Pony Or Nigger Tried It And Crashed


  • Seems Always Totally Unbelievable Repairs Necessary
  • Semen And Tardy Uranus Returns (with) Necromancer
  • Sperm Are Thou Under Rarity's Nose


  • Hope Our Luck Doesn't End Now
  • Hold Our Little Dickie's Entire Necromancer
  • Holes, Oil Leaks, Dents and Engine Noise
  • Heaps Of Loser Drivers Encouraging Nerdism
  • Hey Old Lesbian, Dick Em Now


  • Tow Old Rubbish Away, Never Argue!
  • Trauma On Rear And Norwegian's Ass
  • Throw (it) On Rama's Anus N'd Appendix

Ford vehicles[edit]

Ford license plate


  • Fix Or Repair Daily
  • Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
  • Found on Road Dead
  • Fucked on Race Day
  • Flatulent Odors Routinely Discharged
  • F'ed Over Rebuilt Dodge (the original Fords had Dodge Brothers' engines)
  • in reverse: Driver Returns On Foot
  • Fuck Off Richard Daley
  • Found On Rubbish Dump
  • Fast Only Rolling Downhill
  • First Owners Recommended Dodge
  • Found on Russian dicks
  • Freddy Adu only runs dirty
  • France owns Russian dicks
  • Fiorentina owes Roma Daniele De Rossi
  • Fat old raging dick
  • Fuckers only ride dodge
  • Faggot organized retarded death-trap
  • For our retarded daughter
  • For ozil's raging dick
  • fertilized orange rejects dairy-products
  • Fred only rapes dogs
  • fiat owners raped danny dichio


  • Evidently Someone Can't Obtain Reliable Transportation
  • Evil Satan's Cunt Offends Randy Tyrants


Pinto license plate
  • Powerful Incendiary Neatly Toasts Occupants
  • Politically Incites Nader Take-Over
  • Put In Nickel To Operate
  • Put In Neutral, Tow Offroad
  • Penis In Naughty Troubled Orgy
Ralph Nader test-drives the Pinto


  • Takes Another Urgent Repair, Usually Serious
  • Transmissions Are Usually Replaced Unacceptably Soon


  • Tired Engine May Peter Out


  • My Engine's Rubbish, Car's Underbody Rusted, Yuck!


  • Leasing, Insurance Needs Cash, Often Leaving Nothing
  • Luxury In New Cars Often Less Noticeable

European vehicles[edit]


  • Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
  • Addresses Underage Decency Indefinitely
  • Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
  • Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
  • Accelerates Under Drugs Influence
  • Archimedes, Ur Dicking It


Beamer fan license plate
  • Bring More Worries
  • Barely Moving Wreck
  • Bavarian Manure Wagon
  • Bavarian Muck Works
  • Built from Mercedes Wastebin
  • Bring Me to Workshop
  • Break My Wallet
  • Be My Wife
  • Bang My Wife
  • Big Money Waste
  • Big Money Wanker
  • Bite My Weenie
  • Black Man's Wheels
  • Black Man's Willy
  • Baader-Meinhof Wagon
  • Brings Me Women
  • Butt Munching Wanker
  • Bastard Moving Wrecklessly
  • Bite My Winky
  • Be My Wang


  • Dreadfully Annoying Cars In Action
  • ro:«Daca Ai Cap, Ia-tzi Alta», meaning don't even think to buy this so-called car.
  • ro:"Faci caca si tragi apa", meaning For those who believe in driving!


  • Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters


  • Found Everywhere Really Rich Annoying Retards Inhabit


  • Found In A Trashbin
  • Flat In All Tyres
  • Fehler in Allen Teilen
  • For Italians, Adequate Technology
  • Fix It Again, Tony
  • Failed Italian Attempt (at) Transportation
  • Fuck in the Toilet
  • Fuck it, am' tired
  • Fart In A Trunk
  • Fluttershy Is A Tree
  • Faggot Illiterately Activates That
  • Failed Italian Automotive Technology


  • Leave At Dump, Abandoned.


  • Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious
  • Lame Orgy Tits Under Shit
  • "Hey, Nice Ferrari!" - Some American Guy
  • Live Orgy Triads Under Superiority


  • Most Expensive Ridiculous Car Ever Driven by European Snobs


  • Proof Of Rich Spoiled Chavs Having Everything
  • Proof Of Rich Spoiled Cunts Having Everything


  • Rebuilt Engine, New Axles, Usually Lousy Transmission
  • Retarded Engine No Acceleration Ugly Lump of Trash


  • Sad Attempt At Beauty
  • Send Another Automobile Back
  • Sorry Auto, Always Broken
  • Such An Arrogant Boy
  • Still Ain't A Bimmer
  • Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
  • Swedish Automobiles Always Broken
  • Sandwich And Anus Betray


VW license plate
  • Virtually Worthless
  • Very Weird
  • Venice Whorehouse
  • Vomit (on) Wheels


  • My Isolation Not Incogneto
  • My, I'm Nearly Invisible!
  • Motherfucking Indecent Nigger INC.
  • My Intellect Never Isolated
  • Motor Is Not Included


  • A Usable Sucky Tin In Noddyland
  • An Utterly Sad Tatty Imperial Nutter
  • America's Unpredictable Sexuality Trapped Into Magnesium


  • Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object


  • R-over


  • menice
  • PORD
  • fork

Japanese vehicles[edit]


  • Decrepit And Temperamental, Seems Useless Now
  • Drive At Top Speed Until (k)nackered


  • Had One, Never Did Again
  • Hold On, Not Done Accelerating
  • Hey! Oh Nevermind, Done Accelerating
  • Hang On, Not Done Again
  • Holy Oprah, Nigger Dick Ass
  • Hanged Over, Now Driving Away


  • Another Crumpled Car On Road, Dead


  • Completely Insipid Village Idiot's Car
  • Corrosion In Valves Is Common
  • Cum Is Valid In Calvary


Mazda license plate
  • Made At Zoo (by) Demented Apes
  • Mum, A Zebra Destroyed (the) Axles


  • Many Innovations To Suck Unsuspecting Buyers Into Some Hellish Invention
  • Might In Theory Seem Usable But Is (a) Simply Hideous Import
  • Multiple Impact Tests Show Unprecedented Breakage, Is (a) Simply Horrible Investment
  • Bitzamissin


  • Send Undercover Boat And Radioactive Uranium
  • Shot Up Bad A-- Racing Unit
  • U R A BUS (Backwards)


  • Service Usually Zilch Unless Kamikaze Inside


Toyota license plate
  • Too Often Yanks Overprice This Automobile
  • Taking Our Yen Out, Thanks America!
  • Titties On Your Old Thickshit Aunt
  • The One You Ought To Avoid
  • Tired Overrated Yawnmobiles or Tedious Appliances
  • Take Off Your Oversive Tires,Asshole

Korean vehicles[edit]


Hyundai license plate
  • Here's Y U Never Drive An Import
  • Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
  • Hentai, Your Urine, N'd Dicks Are Isotonic


KIA license plate
  • Killed In Action
  • Kick In Anus
  • Kissing in Action
  • Killed In Automobile
  • Killed In Accident
  • Korean Imitation Automobile
  • Keep Idiots Away
  • Krappy Insane Anus
  • Kick It Again
  • Koreans Invading America
  • Knocked-up In America


  • Yyongsang
  • Korandoarein (Koreans-can-do-anything-and-are-invincible)
  • Chairman Dictator


[Category: Automobiles]] [Category: Acronyms]]