Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Word up! Barack Obama elected president!
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
UnNews:Word up! Barack Obama elected president![edit source]
Written. Submitted. Review. --
TKFU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 
02:44, 5 January 2008 (UTC)
| Humour: | 7 | Yea, I'm not one to keep up on politics, so most of this is lost on me. I do like how you emphasize on the fact that Obama is black. You could actually make that stronger to seem like the article is built to appeal to the "gangstas" in our "urban centers of commerce" that say silly phrases like "homie", "DYNOMITE!", and "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?". Also, due to my extreme political ignorance, I can't tell if "junior senator" is an actual rank or is being used as a synonym for "black politician". If it's an actual senatorial seniority ranking (look at my big words), then I think the article should focus more on one subject or the other; either Obama overcoming racial persecution or a junior senator becoming president. Having both in there takes the focus off of both and doesn't allow as much setup for a punchline. If "junior senator" is meant to be a euphemism for "black politician", then I think it needs to be more blatant, or at least be revealed in the article as a synonym. |
| Concept: | 8 | I like the concept for this article. Even though articles and jokes about presidential candidates are everywhere, I like how this one just has everybody saying "screw it, make him president". It strikes me as "delightfully silly". I do, however, think that it should be longer; not just because you can tell it's short by looking at it, but also because it feels over too quickly. I think there should be more exposition in there, even if it's just an excuse to add more jokes. Also, the jokes in there about the other candidates take the focus off of Obama too much. The article's about |
| Prose and formatting: | 9 | Poifect spelling and grammar. I do, however, think that it should be longer; not just because you can tell it's short by looking at it, but also because it feels over too quickly. I think there should be more exposition in there, even if it's just an excuse to add more jokes. Also, the jokes in there about the other candidates take the focus off of Obama too much. The article's about Obama and what he had to "overcome" to get to the presidency, so it shouldn't focus on the other candidates so much, even if they are shown as being some of those obstacles. |
| Images: | 7 | I generally like all articles to have a minimum of two images. Even though this one is short, it could still hold another picture, which would improve on the general look of the article. |
| Miscellaneous: | 9 | I like the overall look of your article, and I think it's already really good. It does need quite a bit of improvement (at least in my eyes) but I don't want to leave this article with a low score. Therefore, I say screw averaging the scores. I'm giving this a 9 for the sole purpose of boosting the total. You and Dr. S were right, Cajek's probably gonna kill me. |
| Final Score: | 40 | Like I've said before, good article. I don't think it's quite ready for featuring, but it's extremely close. Good luck with this, I'll be sure to support it if it's put on VFH. |
| Reviewer: | Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 05:07, 5 January 2008 (UTC) | |
- Thank God! Someone actually used the Misc section for what it's supposed to be used for! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 05:33 Jan 05, 2008
- I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON! ...no I won't. • <-> Jan 6 (02:50)
- That's what I thought. Sit back down. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 03:06, 6 January 2008 (UTC)
- I was already sitting, though! • <-> Jan 6 (04:58)
- Then lay down! That's right, slowly. Now cross your legs and pout your lips. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 05:10, 6 January 2008 (UTC)