Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/March 27

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How bad can typhoid really be? Lemme get a bite

March 27: Typhoid Mary Day

  • 1513 - Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de León searches Florida for the Fountain of Youth, finds a Marshalls next to a Randalls next to another Marshalls.
  • 1915 - Mary Mallon, nicknamed Typhoid Mary since her name is Mary and she gives people Typhoid, is detained by the authorities after killing like fifty people.
  • 1921 - Activists from the group "Justice for Mary Mallon" die of typhoid after Mary prepares them all a lovely Peach Melba. (Pictured)
  • 1998 - The head of the FDA recommends that men suffering from premature ejaculation just "think about your dad."
  • 1999 - A Lockheed F-117 Nighthawk is shot down over Serbia by a Slav wielding an evil glare.
  • 2014 - The Moro Islamic Liberation Front agrees to ceasefire with Philippines government while they figure out what's so fucking hilarious about their name.