UnNews:2016 Q1 recap
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Monday, April 25, 2016
UnNews has been so buried in news this year that we barely have time to write about it anymore. Plus, my DVR has been extremely busy, and I've also been busy with chores and other wastes of time that I would never willingly do.
So here's a little recap of events we may or may not have covered yet during the first quarter of 2016 (with some spillover).
December 2015[edit | edit source]
- Legendary Motorhead frontman and bassist Lemmy died from cancer just days after his 70th birthday and diagnosis. Motorhead replaced him with Axl Rose.
- The Weinsteins lost the rights to the Halloween horror movie franchise featuring boogeyman Michael Myers.
- Quentin Tarantino released The Hateful Eight in a special 70mm Roadshow format. It was shot in Ultra Panavision 70, which was last used in the long-forgotten 1966 film, Khartoum. Which to me sounds like "Cartoon." But, anyway...
- Some little science fiction movie came out. I think it was called Spaceballs or something.
January[edit | edit source]
- David Bowie releases a new single and music video, "Lazarus."
- David Bowie turns 69 and releases the album, Black Star.
- David Bowie dies of cancer at the age of 69.
- Alan Rickman does the exact same thing at the exact same age.
- Eagles guitarist Glenn Frey dies. Don Henley replaces him with Axl Rose.
February[edit | edit source]
- More election bullshit
- Deadpool becomes the highest grossing R-rated film of all time.
- Some dude proposed to his girlfriend on the cover of Observer Magazine.
March[edit | edit source]
- Garry "Larry Sanders" Shandling dies from a massive heart attack at age 66.
- Axl Rose, Slash, and Duff McKagan officially reunite as Guns N Roses.
- Legendary AC/DC frontman Brian Johnson has been forced to quit touring or risk total deafness. He was replaced by Axl Rose.
- Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice opens in theaters. Everybody bitched and moaned like the crybabies that they are. Just like they did with Terminator: Genisys.
April[edit | edit source]
- Flint, Michigan water crisis.
- Everybody Loves Raymond star Doris Roberts dies at the age of 90.
- Prince dies at the age of 57. MTV and VH1 actually bother to play music videos, in his memory. They also play Purple Rain several times. Purple Rain also gets a week-long run at AMC theaters.
- Axl Rose is in negotiations to replace Prince.
- Disney releases yet another remake of The Jungle Book. But this one has Bill Murray as Baloo. Bill. Murray.
- Harriet Tubman replaced Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill.
- Donald Trump confuses 9/11 and 7-Eleven.
Whew. I hope that about covers it. Can't wait to start writing more UnNews soon. I hope.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Tommy Shaw "Too Much Time on My Hands" CNN, April 24, 2016