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- A long, long time ago - I can still remember how that music used to make smile.
- 1532 - Sir Elton John resigns as a Queen of England, takes new job as a "Stately Homo."
- 1770 - As a practical joke, a Mr. Potato Head is elected Prime Minister, later causes the Irish potato famine after banning the eating and selling of his own kind.
- 1888 - Acclaimed Serbian-Croatian-American scientist Nikola Tesla patents the idea of patent-theft, to his eventual great regret.
- 1901 - New South Wales gains its independence from New North Wales.
- 1969 - Soviet space probe contracts embarrassing venereal disease while on routine mission to Earth's Sister planet.
- 1974 - Josip Broz Tito declared to be "World's Coolest Dictator" by Bosnians and Serbs, a forlorn Pinochet throws himself off a helicopter.
- 2013 - Barack Obama stares at the shiny Nobel Peace Prize framed on his wall, he remembers a video feed of some gray pixels in the shape of a young Pakistani orphan smeared into a gray pixel pâté. He frowns.