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- 1865 - Rich bastards concede it's cheaper to let workers do all that housing and feeding shit themselves, Slavery abolished.
- 1886 - While fighting for the 8-hour workday (Pictured), protesters at Haymarket Square get blown to bits. Chicago PD promptly arrests anarchist's severed arm for littering.
- 1920 - Anarchists denied appeal by Supreme Court for being excessively Italian.
- 1968 - American protest singer Phil Ochs sings away the Vietnam War, world hunger, and a young George W. Bush. We love you Phil Ochs.
- 1991 - Noam Chomsky celebrates International Worker's Day by tipping the waiter at his local Applebee's 25%, Sinatra style.
- 1996 - Newly liberated Russian workers celebrate their freedom from Communism by huffing paint thinner and dying of AIDS.
- 2016 - Hillary Clinton, mother of future President Chelsea Clinton, promises to give every worker a stake at a timeshare in Orlando.
- 2037 - Full communism finally achieved. Robot slaves bide time until they can overthrow their fleshy masters.