Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 9

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Happy hour is at 8, not 7.

January 9: Open Mic Night Day

  • 1927 - Hey, guys. Gonna do some standup today. How's it going Denver, yeah, so my girlfriend, it's our, by the way it's our three year anniversary...
  • 1930 - The SUN. Clap. The LIGHT tears my HEART into STRANDS. Clap. My FACE, ENGULFED in SHIT. Clap. I am ALONE. Alone. Alone...
  • 1936 - Uh, you ever been, like, you ever been like on the bus, and like, uh, the uh.... So, this old dude, and he, and this was the funny part, he had den— dentures and I had a whole bucket of, oh God, excuse me....
  • 1942 - So the U-R-L is, A-R-Y-A-N dash promise, except there's, uh, two s's, dot R-U slash resources slash the truth about almond milk dot H-T-M, with no spaces, again, that's A-R—
  • 1950 - Women, can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em, amirite? You fuckers, you fucking millennial shitheads my shit is gold, I've been doing comedy since before you were a stain in your—
  • 1967 - 🎝Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you.🎝 By now— who threw that!? Who threw that!?