Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 17

January 17: Kick Pigeons in the Face Day

395 - The Eastern Roman Empire and the Western Roman Empire split after "insurmountable creative differences."
1918 - The Finnish Civil War begins after the Finns decide that they might as well get their Civil War done right away.
1945 - The Soviets liberate Warsaw from Nazi Germany, decide to adopt Poland as their own. Aww.
1946 - The UN Security Council wonders what the UK is doing there. It's just an island.
1961 - Dwight D. Eisenhower makes final speech warning America about the monster that lives in your closet.
1987 - The New York City Transit Authority sponsors a pigeon kicking holiday (Pictured) in response to the bird poop derailing all their trains.
2004 - The Doomsday Clock is set four minutes to midnight after scientists realize the time on their microwave is two minutes off.

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