Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 11

January 11: Alexander Hamilton Day

• 1569 - English merchants propose a national game by which the poorest of society freely and willingly give their money to the rich with no hope of a reward; they call it a lottery.
• 1755 - Alexander Hamilton (Pictured), financial elitist, slave owner, serial adulterer and father of Wall Street, is born to a whore and a Scotsman; inspires overpriced musical for bougie liberals.
• 1879 - The Zulus defeat one British Redcoat unit with eleven Impi spearmen, British cry "no fair!" and reload save.
• 1922 - The first patented Diabetes treatment, a pair of rusty pliers used to excise the parts of the tongue that taste sweetness, is introduced to the general public.
• 1946 - Albanian dictator Enver Hoxha builds 750,000 bunkers not to keep Capitalist invaders away, but to see who cares enough to break them down.
• 2015 - Lin-Manuel Miranda is sentenced to hell for making a black guy dress up as Thomas Jefferson, which is like, three layers of wrong.

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