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Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.
Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.
Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Did you know...
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- ... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured)
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
- ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
- ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
- …that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?
- ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
- ... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
 - ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
- ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
- ... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?
- ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
- ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured)
- ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)
- ... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
- ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
- ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
- ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra?
- ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
- ... that there was more then one model for the Mona Lisa? (Pictured)
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In the news
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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
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On this day...
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