User:Zombiebaron/Zombiebaron Day

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Albert Arnold "Al" Gore, Jr. (allegedly born March 31, 1948) is purported to be a prominent liberal spokesperson for and inventor of global warming and environmentalism. He is portrayed by the liberal media as an author, a businessperson, former journalist, inventor of the algorithm, and recipient of a scientific prize. According to Wikipedia, Gore has served as United States Vice President, Senator, and Representative, and has also served as a military journalist during the Vietnam War. However, despite efforts by the liberal media to prove otherwise, there is no completely irrefutable evidence that Al Gore exists. (Full article...) Recently featured: Foreign accent syndrome CaseOh Conspiracy Theory Generator Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? Archive · Vote for featured articles · Featured today, a long long time ago Warner Bros., featured on 4 March 2025: Featured version HowTo:Mess up Uncyclopedia, featured on 5 March 2021: Featured version Did you know... ... that Joseph Stalin (Pictured) is the the real Man of Steel? ... that Pennywise the Clown wants to entertain you? (Pictured) ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"? ... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks? ... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic? ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins? ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards? ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG* ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured) ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop? ... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything? ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge? ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true? ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted? ... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory? ... that the history of Great Britain (Pictured) is greater than Frosties? ... that you should invest in chicken stock? ... that a camel's boobies are on its back? ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS? ... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions? ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]? ... the muffin man? ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it? ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio? ... that "Rosebud" was his sled? Oh wait, everyone knew that. ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink? ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it? ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear? ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent ... tennis isn't just a game? ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true? ... that Burger King briefly attempted to introduce traditional British cuisine in the US? (Pictured) ... that Uranus is a gas giant? ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop? ... that Earth is the best planet in the world? ... that Ram Ranch really rocks? ... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke? ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around? ... that You have to be lucky all the time, but we only have to be lucky once? ... that the Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament was founded by the Duke of York? (Pictured) ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit? ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches? ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap? ... that I'm better than this person in particular? ... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill? ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven? ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny?

In the news Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran Recent deaths: Team Canada's pride • Some nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei, et. al, Undetermined: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Upcoming deaths: Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad On this day... March 5: Jump to the Beat of the Party Line Day (Turkey) 1914 - Preparations for the wildest party known to mankind are well on their way 1947 - The wildest party known to mankind begins today, death tolls are still rising. 1991 - Emperor George Bush, Sr. takes over all of the Americas, except Hawaii. 1999 - The party almost stops over fear of the Y2K Bug. Then someone gets a fly swatter. Party continues. 2006 - Party nearly ends due to sudden Bird Flu epidemic. Ends with Bird Flu being deported to Britain and the death of Big Bird. Party Continues. 2008 - Aliens invade the Eastern Seaboard, destroying the cities of New York and Washington, D.C., party suspended until Will Smith blows up their mothership. 2148 - End of the World, the Turks party in Heaven, with Allah, Buddha and Jesus.

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Eugene Krabs stands in awe before his establishment as Donald Trump enacts his wonderful tariffs. Image credit: SystemPhantom View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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