| Today's featured article
|
|
So you got home with a soggy, screaming 7-10lbs of a future taxpayer. Your memories from the hospital and the delivery room are hazy at best, with fleeting images of fainting or near-so dads kicked out of the way, the doctor mumbling something about "too late for epidural" while poking his head between the mother-to-be's legs with that sleazy grin you're supposed to take as friendly. The thought of maybe we should have used a condom after all being on top of your mind. And in the midst of the confusion and exhaustion when you crash on the sofa at home, you're staring at the bundle in your arms wondering what now?
The bundle of joy, the cause of all your future misery is deceivingly innocent in its sleepy state, with its itsy bitsy toes and itsy bitsy fingers, and with the occasional sleepy sound you could have sworn was "dad-da". When awake, a baby is controlled by its urges. To the untrained eye, these are food, poopied nappies that feel uncomfortable (We'll get to the rashes later) and various tummyaches and in cases of badly planned parenting, babies lifted or cuddled by strangers will scream as loudly as they can in an effort to summon a panicking parent to "rescue" them from their tormentor back to tormenting their parents. If I'm going to abort the next one doesn't cross your mind at least twice a day, the baby's failing its mission. (Full article...)
|
| Did you know...
|
| *... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
|
|
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
|
| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
|
Uncyclopedia Languages
|
| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,269 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Isra1337/Main Page hybrid!:
|
Uncyclopedia is made possible through contributions from readers like you.
All donations go toward the continuation of Uncyclopedia and its community of volunteer editors. If Uncyclopedia has ever made you laugh then we invite you to donate and help us pay for our expensive server(s). You can make all donations using your PayPal account or debit/credit card here. You can also support your local Uncyclopedia by purchasing merchandise from our merchandise store where 15% of all sales goes toward Uncyclopedia. If you cannot donate but still want to help Uncyclopedia monetarily, you can click some of the ads in our e-store to help us keep the rest of the site ad free.
For nonsense related IRC chat, see this instructional video.
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
