Today's democratically-elected high quality article
Rob Gronkowski, also known as "Gronky Kong", is tall guy who once play American football, now is tall funny guy make appearance on TV. Gronk have play as tight end, no make into wide receiver. Gronk have perverted sense of humor, you see. Hahaha, 69!
Gronk have play for team with Tom Brady, namely New England Patriots and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, play so hard against hometown team Buffalo Bills due to Bills dinosaur owner no pick Gronk. Gronk mad.
Gronk is crazy party animal, like party so much he use beer keg for wash bodyyyyyy. Gronk say no eat TIE PODS, but sometimes he no resist, due to TIE PODS is colorful like candyyyyy. TIDE POD yucky though, Gronk just eat to look cool.
Despite Gronk now hated in hometown of Buffalo, New York due to angry GRONK SMASH on Tre White, he still more likeable by light years than dummy ex-teammate Aaron Hernandez, who was angry gangster go kill people. Gronk one of few people who no get CTE from play football, but BORN with CTE, along with Cam Skattebo. Therefore being born with CTE, Gronk always nuts, but awesome. (Full article...)
Yesterday's featured article
Kirkification (officially called Metamopho Two Guy Who Got Shot) is an incredibly dangerous viral infection that can target anyone (that can pay the rent to use the internet), but mostly targets popular internet streamers or celebrities. When one catches the virus, their skin turns a sickly pale color, as their haircut begins to look god-awful. Or, in layman's terms, they turn into Charlie Kirk. The first cases of this outbreak were recorded in late September of 2025, or 0 A.K. (After Kirk.) The most commonly recognized catalyst for the outbreak is the death of the right-wing podcaster and professional deadbeat father, Charlie 'Liberal Crusher' Kirk.
On September 10th, 2025, young Kirk traveled to Utah Valley University, a place nobody had ever heard of, because it was in Utah. There, many young, vile, tree-hugging liberal wackos questioned the enlightened Kirk about various issues of the day. When one young man asked about how many mass shooters there had been in the US in the past ten years, Kirk replied "Counting or not counting gang violence?" Charlie was then shot through the neck by one Tyler Robinson, who had engraved on his bullets such phrases as 'UwU, notices your bulge.' (Seriously.) Suffice to say, we cannot tell whether he was far-right or far left. Unknown to Robinson, lodged inside Charlie 'Ow My Balls' Kirk's neck, was Pandora's Box, which had been hidden there, and was the direct cause of his stunted facial growth. When Robinson shot Kirk, the latch on the box was open, and all the evils sealed inside the box were released into the world. Such evils included the popularity of Mexican Nazi, Nick Fuentes, the song 'We are Charlie Kirk,' and the Kirkification Virus. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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*... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
- ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out?
- ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
- ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out?
- ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
- ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out?
- ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
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In the news
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Too bad you can't customize this in the original.
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On this day...
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January 30: The Next Great American Novel Day
- 1892 - Richard Lawrence, failed Andrew Jackson assassin, writes novel marketed as tell-all; it instead details his unrequited decades long crush on a Czech farmgirl in Nebraska.
- 1925 - Erudite socialite and on-and-off poet M. Masters Droob writes, These Days Will Last Forever, a loosely biographical coming of age tome about an erudite socialite and on-and-off poet.
- 1965 - Virginian author Jeronio P. McDullum writes his magnum opus, That Remains to be Seen: A Novel of Domestic Discontent, about a loveless marriage between an assistant professor and pugnacious spouse, who wouldn't know a novel from a novella.
- 1971 - Grizzled, white man's man author Smoker Ennis publishes a road trip anthology, I Fucked The Road; in the cover, he poses with the semi-automatic machine gun he will later use to take his own life.
- 1973 - Brundon Grishmald writes a 1,249 page novel about every single one of his sexual fetishes in excruciating detail, most people give up by page eighty-four.
- 2015 - Mariska Told writes a semi-autobiographical Roman à clef about the character defining experiences which paint the life of every American woman, like working at your dad's publishing firm or drunk texting your ex who moved to Long Island three years ago.
- 2017 - Bright young writer and future MacArthur fellow João Staines writes great work of literary import, you can tell from the tasteful misogyny and the nonsense similies.
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