Today's democratically-elected high quality article
Garlic bread adventure!
You feel an emptiness inside you, a deep pit in your soul that nothing man-made can fill. How many years has it been since you felt her hair running through your fingers?
None of that matters. The only thing that makes you happy now is garlic bread. You know it’s bad for your health, and you know it smells like the underpants of a sweaty Gondola rower, but you can’t help yourself.
Yesterday's featured article
Uncyclopedia is proud to present an exclusive, never before published column by Chuck Norris.
Recently a debate aired on ABC's Nightline pitting popular theists, Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron, against two reviled atheists from the "Rational" Response Squad, which is also reviled. This testifies to the growing number (30 million people) of fools who profess there is no God. Add to that what I believe is possibly three times that number of functional atheists, those who believe in a God but don't show it (as True Christians® do, by voting Republican, wearing little American flag pins and putting Jesus fish on the tailgates of their pickup trucks), and patriotic Americans in America are facing a new religious horizon in which atheism is becoming a formidable foe.
Shockingly, although the majority of Americans continue to claim to be Christians, a Gallup poll discovered that forty-five percent of the population would support an atheist for President. Such a survey is a clear indication that the secularization of our Christian nation is alive and well. Secularization, if you are not aware, will signal the end of America as we know it. For example, soon the secular government, blinded by their lack of common Christian decency, will (as they did with public schools) banish the Bible from the White House, before banning it in church and eventually outlawing it in your very own home! Will real Americans continue to stand for this outrage? I pray to the Lord, no. (Full article...)
|
Did you know...
|
- ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured)
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
- ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
- ... that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
- ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
- ... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
- ... that Burger King briefly attempted to introduce traditional British cuisine in the US? (Pictured)
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
- ... that there is one imposter among us?
- ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
- ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
- …that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?
- ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured)
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
- ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
- ... that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
- ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
- ... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
- ... that Burger King briefly attempted to introduce traditional British cuisine in the US? (Pictured)
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
- ... that there is one imposter among us?
- ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
- ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
- …that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?
- ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured)
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
- ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
- ... that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
- ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
- ... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
- ... that Burger King briefly attempted to introduce traditional British cuisine in the US? (Pictured)
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
- ... that there is one imposter among us?
- ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
- ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
- …that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?
- ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured)
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
- ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
- ... that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
- ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
- ... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
|
|
In the news
|
|
|
On this day...
|
|
|
|
