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Today's democratically-elected high quality article
WASHINGTON D.C. -- Horror was brought to NASA's headquarters as the north star, also known as Polaris, had suddenly vanished this night. Outcry has spread across the world, as compasses are exploding everywhere, as their only source of direction has unexpectedly disappeared. The subspecies of human known as "flat earthers" claim this as a victory against the globists, although their statements are complete and utter bullshit.
Now, for our non-space fans here, fucking shoot yourself. Why would you read an article about the North Star disappearing... if you don't know about it? But for the majority of you non-space fans who haven't shot themselves, the description of what the north star is... well, in the name. It's a star aligned perfectly north. If we get rid of it... NO MORE NORTH!
... anyways ... (Full article...)
Yesterday's featured article
Mario Kart is a CIA-assisted conspiracy project driving simulator franchise developed by the power-hungry Japanese corporation-from-hell known as Nintendo. It has went on to become one of the company's best-selling franchises since its beginning in God-knows-when. Various characters from Nintendo's Super Mario franchise are placed into a massive friendship-destroying hellhole to drive go-carts and annihilate each other with various weapons of mass destruction. While its well-known origins as a coordinated attempt by the paranoid American Central Intelligence Agency to sever bonds between youth in order to reduce the possibilities of juvenile uprisings around the U.S.A. (and the rest of the world) still have influence over the development of modern Mario Kart games, the main driving force nowadays is Nintendo's endless lust and greed. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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*...that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
- ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
- ...that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
- ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
- ...that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
- ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
- ...that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
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Darth Vader was the only spawn of Qui-Gon-Jinn, a legendary intergalactic televangelist who made millions on the planet Naboo curing toasters of inflammation. During his reign as King of Iceland, Darth Vader often took time off to endorse a variety of things, including the Segway.
Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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