Today's democratically-elected high quality article
Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.
Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.
Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)
Yesterday's featured article
The Buffalo Bills are a "professional" football "team". Their home is in Buffalo, New York. They are widely regarded as one of the most successful NFL franchises to exist ever. Their only championships where in 1964 and 1965 when they won two AFL titles. However, the Bills have not won any championships since the AFL–NFL merger, a move that many now consider "a huge fuck up". They were owned by a 93-year-old zombie man who refused to die named Ralph Wilson. In 2014 Wilson finally kicked the bucket, fucking zombie! Buffalo Sabres owner, oil fracker, and resident idiot Terry Pegula bought the team.
The Buffalo Bills are named after Buffalo Bill, a friendly man who lived in the woods all by himself. He would have guests over frequently where they would stay in a well he constructed in his home. They would stay for several days putting lotion on their skin. Bill then proceeded to skin them alive and wear their skin. The founders of the Bills felt this sort of behavior was admirable.(Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
- ... that sheep shrink when it rains?
- ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
- ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
- ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)
- ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
 - ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
- ... that sheep shrink when it rains?
- ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
- ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
- ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)
- ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
- ... that sheep shrink when it rains?
- ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
- ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
- ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)
- ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
- ... that sheep shrink when it rains?
- ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
- ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
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In the news
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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
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On this day...
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March 31: Condom Appreciation Day
- 4000 BC - Babylonians create the first wooden condoms (Pictured), resulting in much fewer unexpected pregnancies and many, many, many more splinter-related injuries.
- 1865 - The modern condom is introduced, consisting of sheep stomach lining coated with sulfuric acid. It is quixotically not well received.
- 1939 - With the invention of latex, the modern modern condom is introduced, single handedly ending the Great Depression.
- 1961 - Condoms are mentioned on television for the first time, in an episode of The Flintstones entitled Put It Back In.
- 1970 - National No-Condom decade kicks off at Studio 69 in New York City.
- 2009 - The Pope claims that condoms increase the number of people with AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa, in a similar manner to how exercise is unhealthy and cheeseburgers eat people.
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