Today's featured propaganda
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Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.
Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.
Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
- ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... that "Rosebud" was his sled? Oh wait, everyone knew that.
- ... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
- ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
- ... that it is most certainly not beneficial to Society to monitor Internet use? (Pictured)
- ... that I am inside your walls?
- ... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we barely have pornographic content?
- ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
- ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
- ... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
- ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
- ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
 - ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
- ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... that "Rosebud" was his sled? Oh wait, everyone knew that.
- ... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
- ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
- ... that it is most certainly not beneficial to Society to monitor Internet use? (Pictured)
- ... that I am inside your walls?
- ... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we barely have pornographic content?
- ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
- ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
- ... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
- ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
- ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
- ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
- ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... that "Rosebud" was his sled? Oh wait, everyone knew that.
- ... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
- ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
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To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
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