Today's featured propaganda
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Good evening crew of the RMS Titanic. My name is Scuttlebutt, Sidney Scuttlebutt. I am the head of the exterior furniture section on this ship. My job is to provide deckchairs for the comfort of all First Class and Second Class passengers. Third Class passengers are not entitled to deckchairs so you will not need to show them how they work.
This may be the Titanic's maiden voyage but I am already a professional at the art of deckchair maintenance as I have worked on the Titanic's sister ship RMS Olympic. I believe a carefully prepared deckchair with the option of a blanket and cushion is essential if travellers want to take in the cold April air of 1912. So I will now demonstrate what we do.
What was that? You want to know more about the lifeboats? We can talk about that tomorrow. Those boats are to rescue people at sea, not the people here as this ship is unsinkable, made of steel that is light enough to float. There is no need to be worried. For those who really want to learn more about lifeboats, I understand Captain Smith will be holding a class tomorrow. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... no, you didn't! Stop lying!
- ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
- ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
- ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
- ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
  - ... no, you didn't! Stop lying!
- ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
- ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
- ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
- ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
- ... no, you didn't! Stop lying!
- ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
- ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
- ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
- ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
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To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
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