Today's featured propaganda
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The World Wildlife Fund (now known with the suffix for Nature in attempt to attract naturists to the fanbase), or WWF, is an animal cruelty based sports entertainment company dealing in professional animal wrestling arranged by animal lovers within the aforementioned organisation. It features fights, wrestling bouts, brawls, fisticuffs and bloodbaths wherein dangerous predators, the lazy and weak, perilous domestic pets and endangered species are the combatants, battling with one another in a pre-defined survival of the fittest.
The WWF features every wrestling fan's favourite brawlers, including the bear, the elephant, the snake, the shark and the chihuahua. All of them scramble for glory in the bloodied ring, leaving no other animal standing, other than itself. The World Wildlife Fund was founded in 1961. The group stated their mission to protect endangered species and other animals, and they promptly set about getting involved in saving poor animals, like injured little bunnies and the rare Siberian orange duck-billed mongoose, from extinction and suchlike. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
- ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
- ... that if you say peacock, no one bats an eye, but if you say poopcock, everyone blows their minds?
- ... that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really.
- ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that Joe Biden stepped in dog shit?
- ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
- ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
- ... that if you say peacock, no one bats an eye, but if you say poopcock, everyone blows their minds?
- ... that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really.
- ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that Joe Biden stepped in dog shit?
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In the news
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On this day...
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March 27: Typhoid Mary Day
- 1513 - Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de León searches Florida for the Fountain of Youth, finds a Marshalls next to a Randalls next to another Marshalls.
- 1915 - Mary Mallon, nicknamed Typhoid Mary since her name is Mary and she gives people Typhoid, is detained by the authorities after killing like fifty people.
- 1921 - Activists from the group "Justice for Mary Mallon" die of typhoid after Mary prepares them all a lovely Peach Melba. (Pictured)
- 1998 - The head of the FDA recommends that men suffering from premature ejaculation just "think about your dad."
- 1999 - A Lockheed F-117 Nighthawk is shot down over Serbia by a Slav wielding an evil glare.
- 2014 - The Moro Islamic Liberation Front agrees to ceasefire with Philippines government while they figure out what's so fucking hilarious about their name.
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To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
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