Today's featured propaganda
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Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.
Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.
Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured)
- ... that the police are at your door?
- ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
- ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that there is one imposter among us?
- ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
- ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
 - ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting?
- ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle?
- ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk?
- ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
- ... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured)
- ... that the police are at your door?
- ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
- ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that there is one imposter among us?
- ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
- ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
- ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting?
- ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle?
- ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk?
- ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
- ... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured)
- ... that the police are at your door?
- ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
- ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that there is one imposter among us?
- ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
- ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
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To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
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