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Today's featured propaganda

RadioStarPaper.jpg

Much loved '50s, '60s and '70s entertainer Radio Star was found dead at home in Los Angeles County in 1982, aged 47. Radio Star's career had been waning for several years due to the increasing popularity of his rival, Video, and initial reports on the story suggested suicide was a likely cause. However, in a dramatic turn of events, the police announced they were treating the matter as a murder investigation, and shortly afterwards arrested Video for the crime.

Radio Star had shot to popularity in the first half of the 20th century, and was a popular fixture on the wireless back in '52. Young people would lie awake intent at tuning in to him, and nothing stopped him coming through. The future was bright for Radio Star, and nothing seemed to stop his inexorable rise. Aided in his early career by the fact that there was nothing worth watching on TV, he monopolized the airwaves in a fashion not seen before or since (notable efforts by the ubiquitous Oprah Winfrey notwithstanding).

In the '60s and '70s, he had to contend with a new rival – TV Star, whose hot new gimmicks included "visibility", "motion", and hippy chicks grooving along to the music. Unfortunately for TV Star though, his gimmicks at this time didn't include "endless playback of popular songs", meaning his exposure was limited, and Radio Star was able to survive this initial onslaught. However, it turned out that TV Star was just a forerunner of the much greater threat around the corner, a threat that was instigated by those fiendish international masterminds: Freddie Mercury and Queen. (Full article...)

Did you know...

FireBall.jpg
  • ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ... that if you say peacock, no one bats an eye, but if you say poopcock, everyone blows their minds?
  • ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
  • ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
  • ... that this in not a DYK entry?
  • ... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
Pigpen.PNG
  • ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
  • ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
  • ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
  • ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
  • ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
  • ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
FireBall.jpg
  • ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ... that if you say peacock, no one bats an eye, but if you say poopcock, everyone blows their minds?
  • ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
  • ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
  • ... that this in not a DYK entry?
  • ... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
Pigpen.PNG
  • ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
  • ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
  • ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
  • ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
  • ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
  • ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
FireBall.jpg
  • ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ... that if you say peacock, no one bats an eye, but if you say poopcock, everyone blows their minds?
  • ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
  • ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
  • ... that this in not a DYK entry?
  • ... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?

In the news

Norris4.jpg
Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Final Four

Recent deaths: Robert MuellerTransgender self-identity in India • Mr. StricklandC.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • UConn ladies' basketball season + Jordan's Furniture customers • Jesus

Upcoming deaths: Mahmoud AhmadinejadAtlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • SoraTiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too • Holostars JP

On this day...

Taaaaaaaaaaaax.... cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuts...

April 4: National No Spamming Day (Iraq)

Today's featured picture

Lance Brick
When it was invented, the lance with a brick on the end was considered a marvel of contemporary medieval war technology. The lance with a brick on the end made it possible for unexperienced, n00b knights to defeat 1337 knights using the old-fashioned, brick-free lances nine times out of ten. The vast superiority of the lance with a brick on the end led to its near-universal adoption within a period of less than two decades. Note that the n00b knight on the right also has an Apexi "Cat back" muffler system on his head, which is first evidence that riceboys existed as early as the 14th century.

Image credit: Sunsneezer
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Recent Articles


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Wotm.jpg

WANTED
Name: Bradaphraser (sometimes uses aliases "Bradley" or "Bradafag")
Crimes: hatred of the white peoples of the world, denial of free speech to said peoples, rogue punchlines, and your mother is a whore
Reward for information regarding the accused: Cherry Cake
Contact: prussianblue@yahoo.com


Noobaward.jpg

To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.


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