Today's featured propaganda
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Good evening crew of the RMS Titanic. My name is Scuttlebutt, Sidney Scuttlebutt. I am the head of the exterior furniture section on this ship. My job is to provide deckchairs for the comfort of all First Class and Second Class passengers. Third Class passengers are not entitled to deckchairs so you will not need to show them how they work.
This may be the Titanic's maiden voyage but I am already a professional at the art of deckchair maintenance as I have worked on the Titanic's sister ship RMS Olympic. I believe a carefully prepared deckchair with the option of a blanket and cushion is essential if travellers want to take in the cold April air of 1912. So I will now demonstrate what we do.
What was that? You want to know more about the lifeboats? We can talk about that tomorrow. Those boats are to rescue people at sea, not the people here as this ship is unsinkable, made of steel that is light enough to float. There is no need to be worried. For those who really want to learn more about lifeboats, I understand Captain Smith will be holding a class tomorrow. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that 10 minutes of Super Bowl XLIII was mysteriously interrupted? (Pictured)
- ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
- ... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
- ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
- ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
- ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
- ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
- ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured)
- ... that 10 minutes of Super Bowl XLIII was mysteriously interrupted? (Pictured)
- ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
- ... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
- ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
- ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
- ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
- ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
- ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured)
- ... that 10 minutes of Super Bowl XLIII was mysteriously interrupted? (Pictured)
- ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
- ... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
- ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
- ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
- ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
- ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
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To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
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