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Today's featured propaganda

Car crash with mr.stupid dumbass.gif

Fuck Around and Find Out, often abbreviated to FAFO, is a philosophy often used by parents, teachers and scholars worldwide to explain why a person may suddenly find out they have a boot solidly lodged 14 inches into their rectum. It is mainly used on children whose sense of entitlement and petulance has reached a breaking point and their parents feel that talking won't work and grounding will make fuck all of a difference. The kid fucked around, the kid then found out. They didn't quite realize they were finding out right away because before awareness of said boot up their ass sent in, their head was being whacked so hard by rolled up newspaper their brain shifted and the boot in anus processed 0.5 seconds later. Eventually they all find out, even if it is delayed by a minor concussion. (Full article...)

Did you know...

*... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
  • ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
  • ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
  • ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?

In the news

Northsentinelislandfire.png
Those poor bastards.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh SteelersGiants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Donna GodchauxDiane LaddDick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya NakadaiSally Kirkland • The pennyUdo KierJimmy CliffWarner Bros.Sheen EstevezChet UbetchaDoug Dimmadome

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald TrumpNYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's and Ravens Flock's livers and kidneys after falling to 6-7Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard

On this day...

December 13: International That Guy Day, Speak with a British Accent Day (UK)
  • 10000 BC - Ug Nug Fug Nug is born, the famous musician responsible for the creation of the violin and other various sexually orentated musical instruments (ie the sexualin).
  • 1067 - William the Conqueror invades the previously uninvaded British Aisles.
  • 1732 - The Royal Opera House opens at Covent Garden, London. Screaming bitches heard from miles around, causes widespread riots.
  • 1808 - Count Henrich von Flammenweffer invents Lava as a way of preventing skiers from taking over his favourite mountains in the winter.
  • 1939 - Adolf Hitler invents oral sex and asks his enemies to blow him.
  • 1940 - The French blow Adolf Hitler.
  • 1942 - No people born on December the 13th, due to National No-Birthdays day. Experts attribute this phenomenon as having to do with a worldwide feeling of "I don't feel like getting any ass today" in mid March.
  • 1992 - Bob like pie
  • 1992 - Someone actually ate my shorts.
  • 2002 - Fraidai the 13th, Satan renamed Hell to "Bloody Hell"
  • 2003 - Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein found hiding in a camel hole during Operation Bomb-The-Towel-Headed-Sand-Brigand, and captured.
  • 2003 - SARS becomes the new iPod.
  • 2005 - On the twelfth day of Christmas, My true love gave to me, A summons from the local JP...
  • 2008 - Uncyclopedia was teleported into an alternate universe where this sentence did not exist. It was returned to normal just now.
  • 2012 - Dyslexic people celebrate that the world didn't end with the Mayan calendar yesterday. Everyone else still nervous.
  • Today - That guy realizes that this is the only one about him even though it's his day and gets really really mad.

Today's featured picture

ASBOWAAT: Garfielf Edition
Jo(h)n is far from able to grasp the grim reality.

Image credit: OPOSSUM, Alula, DaniPine3, L10nM4st3r, as well as YouTube’s PilotRedSun, whose video inspired this image.
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Recent Articles


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Wotm.jpg

WANTED
Name: Bradaphraser (sometimes uses aliases "Bradley" or "Bradafag")
Crimes: hatred of the white peoples of the world, denial of free speech to said peoples, rogue punchlines, and your mother is a whore
Reward for information regarding the accused: Cherry Cake
Contact: prussianblue@yahoo.com


Noobaward.jpg

To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.


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