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Today's featured propaganda

Deckchair01.jpg

Good evening crew of the RMS Titanic. My name is Scuttlebutt, Sidney Scuttlebutt. I am the head of the exterior furniture section on this ship. My job is to provide deckchairs for the comfort of all First Class and Second Class passengers. Third Class passengers are not entitled to deckchairs so you will not need to show them how they work.

This may be the Titanic's maiden voyage but I am already a professional at the art of deckchair maintenance as I have worked on the Titanic's sister ship RMS Olympic. I believe a carefully prepared deckchair with the option of a blanket and cushion is essential if travellers want to take in the cold April air of 1912. So I will now demonstrate what we do.

What was that? You want to know more about the lifeboats? We can talk about that tomorrow. Those boats are to rescue people at sea, not the people here as this ship is unsinkable, made of steel that is light enough to float. There is no need to be worried. For those who really want to learn more about lifeboats, I understand Captain Smith will be holding a class tomorrow. (Full article...)

Did you know...

Cat 6774.jpg
  • ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
  • ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
  • ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
  • ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
  • ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?
  • ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
I burning your dog real.jpg
Cat 6774.jpg
  • ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
  • ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
  • ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
  • ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
  • ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?
  • ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
I burning your dog real.jpg
Cat 6774.jpg
  • ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
  • ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
  • ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
  • ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
  • ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?
  • ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?

In the news

Iran hits Tel Aviv.jpg

On this day...

They're magically delicious!

March 17: Lucky Charms Appreciation Day

  • 461 AD - The patron saint of Ireland, Saint Patrick, uses the three-leaved shamrock to explain the concept of the trinity: he is later stoned to death for Modalism.
  • 1848 - In the middle of the Great Irish Potato Famine, England tells Ireland to eat their young.
  • 1939 - The Americans mock the Irish by dyeing large bodies of water green, as a metaphor for what the Irish do to the gene pool.
  • 1955 - Irish-Americans appropriate this day as a celebration of Irish culture, still keep the public drinking and lake pollution.
  • 2006 - The start of a new St. Paddy's tradition: trying to pause that scene in The Departed where Jack Nicholson shows off his erect penis.
  • 2010 - St. Patrick's Day loses all connection to Ireland, becomes holiday dedicated solely to turning water green: man-made algae blooms kill 99% of all ocean life.

Today's featured picture

American Imperialism
Though the United States' new strategy in Iraq has proven effective at routing insurgent rebels, it has done little to relieve the stigma of what many perceive as American imperialism.

Image credit: Thetoastman
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Recent Articles


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

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WANTED
Name: Bradaphraser (sometimes uses aliases "Bradley" or "Bradafag")
Crimes: hatred of the white peoples of the world, denial of free speech to said peoples, rogue punchlines, and your mother is a whore
Reward for information regarding the accused: Cherry Cake
Contact: prussianblue@yahoo.com


Noobaward.jpg

To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.


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