Hurricane Wilma
Hurricane Wilma hit the village of Bedrock in October 2005 B.C.
Wilma, wife of the Hurricane Frederick who slammed into Mobile Bay in Alabama with 130 mph winds in 1979, is the 21st named storm of the 2005 B.C. Atlantic hurricane season,
Her next-door neighbour Betty (or, as her friends call her, Hurricane Betsy) is infamous for destroying No Orleans in 1965 when, along with Barney and Bam-Bam, she turned all of New Venice into Rubble. Some have said that this gives Wilma far too close a connection to Hurricane Katrina, who also destroyed No Orleans, but others have said that they knew it was going to happen all along anyway, and that the conspiracy is just that, a conspiracy. Wilma herself declined to comment during the time of her existence. The few remaining wisps of cloud will be held for questioning at Guantanamo Bay if found.
Landfall[edit | edit source]
Dozens are dead as FEMA director Charlie Brown sheltered locals in Bedrock Quarry, the lowest point in the area and the first to be flooded out when Wilma made landfall. "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job" insisted chief rockhead George W. Bush as fatalities mounted from local residents being crushed by dinosaurs and flying ptyerodactyls carried by Wilma's hurricane-force winds.
Oh, and I forgot to mention Miami is destroyed, again, for the millionth time.
Aftermath[edit | edit source]
The village of Bedrock has been virtually destroyed, with homes uninhabitable due to high winds and widespread flooding. Refugees from the storm are still waiting for buses and Texas to be invented so that they may evacuate the destroyed village.
Environmentalists have expressed fears that, with the continued destruction of dinosaur habitat during the course of the disaster, the dinosaurs may be extinct someday. Republistone politicians have dismissed their concerns as the nonsensical ravings of left-wing tree-huggers.
While tornadoes have torn Bedrock village apart and hurricane-force winds rocked Fort Lauderdale, shortages of jumping beans have been reported in Mexico after Wilma struck Cancún. Cuba's Fidel CaStone is still trying to dig out from a heap of soggy Havana cigars after Wilma-related flooding.
On hearing of his wife's frenzy of destruction, Mr. Flintstone remarked: "WILMAAAAA!"
Relief efforts[edit | edit source]
An airlift of Flintstones chewable vitamins to survivors of Hurricane Wilma is being organised by the Red Cross, using a team of highly trained velociraptors. C.A.R.E. (Cavemen And Rocks Everywhere) have also moved in to provide assistance to Wilma's victims.
The Cave News Network has dispatched a media circus to the scene to keep the locals entertained until electricity can be restored, or at least invented. Local officials are also busy attempting to re-invent fire and the wheel, both key Bedrock exports before the village was destroyed by Wilma.
See also[edit | edit source]
- 2005 Atlantic hurricane season
- Hurricane Dennis
- Hurricane Katrina
- Hurricane Rita