Hurricane Of Horrendous Destruction and Death
In 1998, an anonymous contributor visited the Department of Atmospheric and Oceanic Science in the University of Maryland and suggested that scientists should stop giving hurricanes names which disillusion the general public in thinking their small mountain town is gonna be given a big hug by a giant windy teddy bear. Such names include Hurricane Cindy, Hurricane Snoogy Woogy and Hurricane Tucking-Up-In-Bed-With-A-Cup-Of-Hot-Cocoa-Your-Hot-Water-Bottle-And-Mister-Cuddles-On-A-Cold-Winter-Night.
The contributor also suggested that the next major hurricane be given a name which properly illustrates the amount of devastation that hurricanes cause. The idea went down like a storm (hah!) and a few weeks later the Hurricane of Horrendous Destruction and Death struck the city of New York, killing thousands. The hurricane then went on to obliterate Denver, San Francisco and Tokyo, where it was famously mistaken for Godzilla.
Allegations of steroid and HGH use[edit | edit source]
On February 27, 2007, the Hurricane of Horrendous Destruction and Death was anonymously linked to Jacked-Up Pharmacy Services, a pharmacy in Mexico that is currently under investigation for supplying hurricanes and tropical storms with illegal steroids and hurricane growth hormone (HGH). The Hurricane of Horrendous Destruction and Death denies ever using destruction enhancers. On March 15, 2007 the Hurricane of Horrendous Destruction and Death made a public announcement that it would be pursuing its own investigation into the steroid claims in order to clear it's name for the good of the weather community. The Hurricane of Horrendous Destruction and Death was again linked to HGH in September 2007, when it's name came up following a raid of Small Balls But I'll Beat You Into A Coma Pharmacy in Sacramento, Florida. As of November 2007, Small Balls But I'll Beat You Into A Coma Pharmacy is under investigation for illegally supplying several major hurricanes with steroids and HGH.
Recognising a Hurricane of Horrendous Destruction and Death[edit | edit source]
Unfortunately we are lacking in knowledge regarding Hurricanes of Horrendous Destruction and Death as upon arrival they proceed to directly perform their job title which in a nutshell (if the title is not clear enough for you) is causing untold damage and death to many. Fortunately the aforementioned many includes hundreds of idiots who are stupid and to be avoided if you can help it. Though claims as to their appearance have ranged from 150 ft dinosaur incarnations to accounts consisting of large amounts of slobbering and drooling from those who could not bear to tear their eyes away from the spectacle of a Hurricane of Horrendous Destruction and Death tearing their livelihoods and loved ones to pieces before them, and have regrettably become members of the United States government which is generally agreed to be the best place for them (though some are suspected to have gathered the wit to escape and are now living in hiding on the executive boards of Microsoft and Apple). We are hence unsure how to recognise a Hurricane of Horrendous Destruction and Death though we have come up with a list of simple ways to recognise a Hurricane of Horrendous Destruction and Death.
- Generally cause huge global outcry and large numbers of people arriving to watch you trying to salvage your wedding picture from the sinkhole that is now your house.
- Those effected may experience power failure due to the transportation of many electricity pylons to the Mediterranean with or without notice.
- Finally if there is horrendous destruction and death occurring all around the chances are you are in the middle of (you guessed it) a Hurricane of Horrendous Destruction and Death, that or you are at the Conservative party conference.
Points of contact to complain about a Hurricane of Horrendous Destruction and Death[edit | edit source]
Contact: Your nearest world leader or representative/MP or failing that the slightly easier to attain God (you can't miss him he's everywhere) if his number is busy his bestselling book The Bible is generally agreed to hold all the answers, if your question relates to testing the messiah or minor magic tricks concerning liquids.
See also[edit | edit source]