User talk:Whoremonal

Welcome!

Hello, Whoremonal, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Whoremonal/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If you want to write and don't know where to begin, browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 23:31, 6 December 2008 (UTC)

Ljlego/adoption

Hi there, I saw your message on Ljlego's talk page and thought I'd mention he hasn't been seen on here for a while. You might want to find someone else to adopt you. (Not me, I'm not good at adopting!) Normally we respond to posts where you leave them, but I thought I'd mention this here as well to make sure you got it. Good luck! --UU - natter 09:59, Dec 8

Every time I open my heart :(. I've left a request with some other character now. Here's hoping. Whoremonal 11:58, 8 December 2008 (UTC)

I'm Adopted!!

Many thanks to my new mummy, Mordillo. Whoremonal 17:10, 8 December 2008 (UTC)

Apparently I was neglecting you which caused you to be banned, apologies on that. How can I help you? Mom.

I fell in with a bad crowd :( I need a mother's love. And help remembering the past when it comes to writing my tell-all book on the matter. Whoremonal 12:34, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

Anything a bit more specific? :) ~ 12:38, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm not sure. How do I make myself into a big, shiny, notable user? And is Vreenak gone for good? Whoremonal 12:44, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

here it is, you can work on it in your own space until you're finished. What would you like to do? Do you like to write? ~ 12:48, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

Yessum. I like to write. I once wrote a joke. A proper one. With a punchline and everything. If there's a page that needs some easy writing that would lead to instant acclaim, then I'll do that. Whoremonal 12:51, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

Here ya go, sweetheart. Read it, and do us proud! Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:35, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Whoremonal, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

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You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

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If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

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If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

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At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

University of Leicester

Hi, I think it is admirable that you have decided to keep an eye on the article and work on it. I would just like to offer the suggestion that rather than simply reverting my edits to the article without explanation you discussed with, or at least explained to me your reasons for doing so, it is generally considered polite. I would be very interested in helping out with any improvements you have in mind for the article so would rather we discuss this properly rather than revert warring over it. Thanks. --ChiefjusticeDS 18:10, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

Hey sorry, it just worked better the way I had it, at least how I saw it. It's my uni, and I'm reponsible for most of the page. It's not meant to cause any offense to you, but the Wilson pic gag worked. I'll admit the bit about getting food in Charles Wilson is a bit unwieldy the way I have it written, but it's got the meaning I want. I'll probably adjust it when I'm feeling more lucid. Whoremonal 19:56, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

It's my uni as well, which is why I have a watch on the page. I was mostly confused as to what you meant when I checked out your edit, I tried to make it more readable with my edit. I took out the image somewhat hastily, mostly due to some less than ideal formatting. Just remember that while it is our uni, nobody owns articles and they are open for everyone to edit and change, so if you do object to an edit a named contributor leaves in future just drop them a message about it, it prevents hurt feelings and flame wars. Good to see someone else from uni on Uncyc though. --ChiefjusticeDS 22:25, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

Smallish world, that the Uncyclopedian of a recent month should be here in Leicester. I can get a little overprotective over the article I'm afraid; it's all I've ever achieved. But no, please do what you feel you can to improve it. It could use more jokes. And seeing it get featured would make all the minutes I've spent here unproductively seem worth it. Whoremonal 01:02, December 2, 2009 (UTC)

I really don't know if this is the place to do it but... Congratulations on the UoL article. My girlfriend and I (both students there) were in utter stitches. See you around campus! - korobeiniki 02:46, January 11, 2011 UTC

You lawyer dude there

Please read the Talk:Uncyclopedia Legal Department for news - the topmost bit is the most important. Then - what if you started scribbling laws, statutes, contracts, stuff like that, in your userspace? Send me a link on my talk page when you have done some. Once we have something we can drop them on a template Zana is about to make and turn them into subpages to the legal dept. I wrote some ideas on the dept. talk page; have fun and keep it legal. -- Style  Guide 19:55, December 6, 2009 (UTC)

Cheers!

YOUR REGISTRATION WAS SUCCESSFUL

In accordance with the Uncyclopedia Legal Department, I hereby verify your membership. You are now legally official and stuff.  ^{22:55, December 6, 2009 (UTC)}

~ Zana Dark, Head of Department  

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Newb Proposal

UN:LEGAL Legal Department Has happily summoned you to review "The Proposal". “Crede Quia Absurdum Est.” ~ Oscar Wilde

I, User:Happytimes, have been giving this new-fangled Unlegal department some of my best thoughts lately. Some things have come to mind... (Lawyers speak in third person right?) Ahem, ~H~ *CA* lack of organization, *CA* no legal dictionary set-up yet, *CA* lack of significant pay for ~H~. See summons if it be to please you.

It's beginning to look a lot like…

See you next year! The first annual *Kiss My Ass* Holiday Competition has officially ended for 2021

Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned Holiday Victor?

Judgement day is upon ye!

Seasons Greetings!

It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny — Sign Up Today! (pretty please)  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 15:07, 13 December 2021

It's beginning to look a lot like…

See you next year! The first annual *Kiss My Ass* Holiday Competition has officially ended for 2021

Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned Holiday Victor?

Judgement day is upon ye!

Seasons Greetings!

It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny — Sign Up Today! (pretty please)  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 15:07, 13 December 2021