User talk:SystemPhantom
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Welcome![edit source]
Hello, SystemPhantom, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:
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09:03, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
Cool![edit source]
Low key that's an amazing userpage ngl. Wish I had thought of it! Genius! Something about it just makes me guffaw! – Preceding signed comment added by Squaw Dee (owns uncyclopedia • talk • contribs)
HEEEEEELP![edit source]
I messed up and created a new asbowaat. Now the article will be plauged with memes. Help me write it...
🎖️YOU HAVE BEEN DRAFTED🎖️
into the elite forces of the
ASBOLAAT LITERARY LEGION
MISSION: Write a few glorious lines(following the rules, of course) to shape the fate of a chaotic epic.
Your words may doom the world, summon a new god, or just give WAR another heart attack.
📜 To enlist: go to The Grand ASBOLAAT Story and add ONE LINE to the end. Then, wait for your next turn, and write another.
🎯 Do NOT edit others' lines. Do NOT write a banana. Do NOT back away from KALKUTNIDAK.
💥 Do it for glory. Do it for Coffi. Do it because KALKUTNIDAK must never win.
⚔️ JOIN THE STORY WAR ⚔️
Failure to comply will result in eternal narratological confusion.
Coffi (talk) 03:18, 16 May 2025 (UTC)
Congratumulations![edit source]
You are now an extended confirmed user! This comes with perks, such as:
- Adding or removing A's to the AAAAAAAAA! article (no reason to do that now, though)
- Vandalizing other people's signatures (why would you do that)
- Being a much more trusted user, and thus, being able to do some really weird stuff
- Being eligible for Sandwich (not Sysop) of the Month
If you have any questions, slap Bad Motherfucker with a whale using this template. They're sure to respond to that!
Coffi (talk) 04:17, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
I've seen you're trying to make your own signature.[edit source]
those are quite good-looking pixels you found for your signature, although they might exceed the size requirements just a tiny little bit. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 01:55, 31 May 2025 (UTC)
- ok i reduced the rotation to 20% of what it was originally how's this --❄️SystemPhantom, with an 🍎apple for you! (talk)❄️ 01:58, 31 May 2025 (UTC)
- oh what the fuck --❄️SystemPhantom, with an 🍎apple for you! (talk)❄️ 01:58, 31 May 2025 (UTC)
kay so I've tried to help you with the "heehee haha" thing and here's my attempt:
{{#css:
@keyframes ArUJRbsbr3 {
0% { transform: rotate(-5deg) scale(1.1); }
25% { transform: rotate(0deg) scale(0.9); }
50% { transform: rotate(5deg) scale(1.1); }
75% { transform: rotate(0deg) scale(0.9); }
100% { transform: rotate(-5deg) scale(1.1); }
}
.tEzncYOM7V {
animation-name: ArUJRbsbr3;
animation-iteration-count: infinite;
animation-duration: 1s;
position:absolute;
}
}}
{{PopupImage|text=<div class="tEzncYOM7V">[[User:SystemPhantom|SystemPhantom]]([[User talk:SystemPhantom|talk]])</div>|image=Lowqualityhehehehaw.jpg|width=130px|link=|top=-120px}}
which should look like this
🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 02:01, 31 May 2025 (UTC)
- this is a disaster im just going to set it back to the default one--❄️SystemPhantom, with an 🍎apple for you! (talk)❄️ 02:03, 31 May 2025 (UTC)
- actually i'll try the thing you just sent i'll see if that goes well --❄️SystemPhantom, with an 🍎apple for you! (talk)❄️ 02:03, 31 May 2025 (UTC)
- hold on, there's a typo in the code. I've just fixed it. try copying the new version. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 02:04, 31 May 2025 (UTC)
- i think the bouncy animation will have to go it seems to fuck up the page way too much. i'll keep playing around with the image popup though, this seems fun (and potentially very very annoying) --❄️SystemPhantom, with an 🍎apple for you! (talk)❄️ 02:07, 31 May 2025 (UTC)
- hold on, there's a typo in the code. I've just fixed it. try copying the new version. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 02:04, 31 May 2025 (UTC)
@DaniPine3: I want to make the error message that i made pop up bigger but i can't seem to make it bigger no matter how much i change the width parameter. i require technical support --❄️SystemPhantom, with an 🍎apple for you! (talk)❄️ 02:33, 31 May 2025 (UTC)
- i replaced it with a trollface, though my demands for using up more screen space on an unfunny popup have not declined in the slightest --❄️SystemPhantom, with an 🍎apple for you! (talk)❄️ 06:32, 31 May 2025 (UTC)
nvm i came up with something else ❄️SystemPhantom, with an 🍎apple for you! (talk)❄️ 02:57, 11 June 2025 (UTC)
gambling sig stuff[edit source]
you could consider adding things that aren't fruit-related to make it more look like the kinda stuff in a casino. something like hearts (❤️), spades (♠️), horseshoes (℧), etc. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 00:25, 12 June 2025 (UTC)
99% of gamblers quit before they earn big[edit source]
yippee
gergdown, eh (talk) 14:29, 30 September 2025 (UTC)
Gerg's Shitroom Shitting To Your Location[edit source]
That's right, it goes in the sockpuppet hole!
On January 4th, 2025[note 1], Wikicreator2562 created their Uncyclopedian account. Although their account would seem innocent, they would become one of the most infamous vandals in the entirety of the Uncyclopedian landscape. Wikicreator then continuously spammed the creation of articles like Cherbia, MediaUncyclo, and Chrz City. Although not IP-craft—it was still bad, thus, these articles were ICU'd, except for MediaUncyclo, since it was a very horrid recreation of a front page for a wiki for requesting wikis. They were banned on January 22nd, 2025, due to them not knowing how to sign, being very cryptic, being very uncommunicative, and continuously spamming the same articles. But recently, Wikicreator2562 has went Super-Gale-Mode, by creating several sockpuppets. Yeah. You can see the whole list of sockpuppets here. This is his fifth sockpuppet. Damn. Just. Damn.
The UnSignpost steals our archive system!
I mean, it is a good archival system...
Pourquoi?? They stole our archival system??? T—to be honest, I don't really care about it. I mean, the header on their archival system is literally "NEW ARCHIVE SYSTEM, STOLEN FROM GERG'S SHITROOM". So it's fine. Y'know, the only active writer on the UnSignpost (well, as of writing this issue), Turb0-Sunrise, Y'know, he—he actually wrote two stories in the 10/8/2025 issue about my shit. It's like he's trying to be nice to me so that when he steals my archival system, I don't really care that much about it...
...nah, that'd be too smart. And also too stupid.
Vancouver and Vancouverite Sojourn are finished in MITK
Wait, really?
"Wait, really?" is correct! It's finished! I think! It's finished! Play it here! Or don't! Like—y'know, you could just—not play it. But let's be honest, it did not need to take four months to create. Like, four months. That's a third of a year. Thank god Heartbound exists, so I can say I'm not the worst with games that take so long to release.
This is the first issue in which I could only write three stories...
...wait.
Oh shit, I just wrote another one. Fuck.
Best Quote of the Whenever
- "ruh roh" — Gergdown, after responding to """""Who wants to see some absoloute dogshit soon" -Turb0-Sunrise" -Gergdown", after responding to the quote from Issue 5, "who wants to hear some absoloute dogshit soon" — Turb0-Sunrise"-Gergdown" — Gergdown
Announcement
- Somewhat important, if you want your Gerg Shitroom issues mailed directly to your hou—talk page, go to this page.
Notes (If any)
- ↑ Dude, this is a fucking date. This isn't a bold statement. Chill out.
Progress Bars
| Progress Legend |
| Vancouverite Sojourn | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Balancing | Proofreading | |
| Vancouver in MITK | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Satanic Challenge | Proofreading | |
| Javascript | |||||||
| Learning | Learning | Learning | Learning | Testing | Testing | Game Creation (Maze) | |
| Rooms | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Easter Eggs | Proofreading | |
| Priest Goofball, the main boss of Chapter Number 4 of Deltarune | |||||||
| Mid-Term Attacks | Regular Attacks | Music | Boss Sprites | Cutscene Polish | Cutscenes | Acts | Spells |
Click here to see it in its full glory.
Thank you for reading Gerg's Shitroom.
Thank you for reading Gerg's Shitroom.
Go to the UnSignpost
gergdown, eh (talk) 18:02, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
Ruh Roh
"Woah! What the fuck? Gerg's Shitroom isn't a daily newsletter? What the absolute shit?? I'm so offended!!!" I know that's what you're asking. Why didn't I make an issue yesterday? Why? Why? Why?!?!? Wait, y—you're not asking that? Oh. But I'm still gonna tell you why.
So practically, I was stargazing yesterday. I got to see a lot of constellations yesterday! To name a few:
- Ursa Minor
- Ursa Major
- Cassiopeia
- Cepheus
- Draco
- Hercules
- Cygnus
- Lyre
- Auriga
- Corona Borealis (faintly)
...okay, that was all I could see.
Not even an quarter of the constellations I could've seen in the night sky.
I also got to see a meteor flashing through the sky. Pretty cool!
What was also cool was the weather. I mean, literally, it was about 4 degrees Celsius outside (39 degrees Fahrenheit).
But that's enough about me. Enough about me. Enough about my experiences. End of story.
Turb0-Sunrise gets nominated for Writer of the Month
Oh damn.
I refuse to say anything else. Good job for him. You should, well, you should vote for him. You should vote for that man. Or don't.
Video Essay Progress
Something the world definitely didn't need
It's going pretty well. I guess. Honestly, I—I'm too lazy to write about anything right now..
Best Quote of the Whenever
- "ruh roh" — Gergdown, after responding to """""Who wants to see some absoloute dogshit soon" -Turb0-Sunrise" -Gergdown", after responding to the quote from Issue 5, "who wants to hear some absoloute dogshit soon" — Turb0-Sunrise"-Gergdown" — Gergdown
Announcement
- Somewhat important, if you want your Gerg Shitroom issues mailed directly to your hou—talk page, go to this page.
Notes (If any)
Progress Bars
| Progress Legend |
| Vancouverite Sojourn | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Balancing | Proofreading | |
| Vancouver in MITK | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Satanic Challenge | Proofreading | |
| Javascript | |||||||
| Learning | Learning | Learning | Learning | Testing | Testing | Game Creation (Maze) | |
| Rooms | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Easter Eggs | Proofreading | |
| Priest Goofball, the main boss of Chapter Number 4 of Deltarune | |||||||
| Mid-Term Attacks | Regular Attacks | Music | Boss Sprites | Cutscene Polish | Cutscenes | Acts | Spells |
Click here to see it in its full glory.
Thank you for reading Gerg's Shitroom.
Thank you for reading Gerg's Shitroom.
Go to the UnSignpost
gergdown, eh (talk) 00:43, 10 October 2025 (UTC)
Yippee!!!
Happy tenth issue! That's 1/3rd of a month. That's like, a bunch. Pretty cool! If you want to celebrate this—firstly—rethink your actions. Secondly, you can play Vancouverite Sojourn by clicking on this link! Please, I—I spent four months on it. I've been living with the pigeons. And the pigeons are coming for me, because I didn't pay my rent yet. So help. I have to steal food now to make ends met.
Video Essay is finished
As of writing this issue, it already has four votes on VFH
That's right! The article literally nobody needed is here! Or maybe someone did need the Video Essay article? Whatever. Oh well, because it exists now. For real. As of writing, it's been less than 6 hours since the publication of the article, and it already has four votes on VFH. Kinda cool.
Turb0-Sunrise now has the ugliest signature ever
Like, really, it sucks, like, holy shit, it's so bad
I've officially found the worst signature ever. And let me break down why it's so bad.
So the first thing I hate about it is the [[File:Sun-asplode.gif]] image. The thing is, although a gif sounds great, make sure to always leave either a |link= or a |link=(your userpage) in the file. Because otherwise, it really just stinks, because when you click on the image, it just sends you to the file, which really sucks.
The next thing is a bit more obscure. Not many people know this, but instead of using <small>(your text)<small>, you can actually use {{Big|-2|(your text)}} instead. It saves file space (by like, 4 bytes). It's more convenient. It's better. It's BETTER!
The next thing is way more obvious. The usage of <big><big><big> instead of {{Big|3||}} really stinks. Why? Because it does.
And at last, was <font face="Palace Script MT">. Who would use a font like this? It sucks. You suck. I suck.
Turb0-Sunrise nominates his own article for the fourth time on VFH
This is why nobody likes himRead abo—wai—NO NO NO NO NO NO
Best Quote of the Whenever
- "ruh roh" — Gergdown, after responding to """""Who wants to see some absoloute dogshit soon" -Turb0-Sunrise" -Gergdown", after responding to the quote from Issue 5, "who wants to hear some absoloute dogshit soon" — Turb0-Sunrise"-Gergdown" — Gergdown
Announcement
- Somewhat important, if you want your Gerg Shitroom issues mailed directly to your hou—talk page, go to this page.
Notes (If any)
Progress Bars
| Progress Legend |
| Vancouverite Sojourn | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Balancing | Proofreading | |
| Vancouver in MITK | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Satanic Challenge | Proofreading | |
| Javascript | |||||||
| Learning | Learning | Learning | Learning | Testing | Testing | Game Creation (Maze) | |
| Rooms | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Easter Eggs | Proofreading | |
| Priest Goofball, the main boss of Chapter Number 4 of Deltarune | |||||||
| Mid-Term Attacks | Regular Attacks | Music | Boss Sprites | Cutscene Polish | Cutscenes | Acts | Spells |
Click here to see it in its full glory.
Thank you for reading Gerg's Shitroom.
Thank you for reading Gerg's Shitroom.
Go to the UnSignpost
🍁 gergdown 🍁 🌑 23:24, 10 October 2025 (UTC)
(At 3 AM)
Never play Minesweeper at 3 AM. I repeat. NEVER play it at 3 AM. You know why you should never play it at 3 AM? Well, it's pretty obvious. Look at the image to your right. What do you see? A very NOT normal game of minesweeper. Notice how there's a 9 on the board. A NINE. Th—that's not how minesweeper. If you didn't know, the numbers on minesweeper tells you how many squares around it are mines. So if there's a square with a 1 on it, that means it has 1 mine adjacent to it. The maximum can only be eight. So why is there a nine?? And most importantly, why is there a flying 6 on the board?? By the way, thank you for reading this story. This is actually just a ploy to make you play Minesweeper. Good gameplay loop. My only complaint is that there's no reward for completing a level, and there's no lootboxes, cosmetics, and there's also no female characters.
Video Essay gets 9 votes on VFH
As of writing last issue, it had four votes on VFH
Oh cool, that one funny article I made now has NINE votes on VFH. That's pretty cool! But can we get ten? That'd be pretty cool, y'know? Ten votes? That's two digits. That's a one plus a zero... plus nine. So yeah! That'd be pretty cool. Not forcing you, of course. I'm not your father (or mother, if you don't have a father. in which... damn)
I would give my insight on how I created the article, but I think I should release it whenever I'm not half-asleep.
Turb0-Sunrise tries to nominate Surprisium on VFH, ends terribly
Like, it went so bad
Yeah... it didn't go well for Turb0. Like, he put it on QVFD bad. 0 votes for, 4.5 votes against. Turb0, annoyed, distraught, said this:
"shit fuck fuck fuck shit shit shit. my next article will fucking destroy this" — Turb0-Sunrise
The UnSignpost-Gerg's Shitroom merger?
[REDACTED]Best Quote of the Whenever
- "shit fuck fuck fuck shit shit shit. my next article will fucking destroy this" — Turb0-Sunrise
Announcement
- Somewhat important, if you want your Gerg Shitroom issues mailed directly to your hou—talk page, go to this page.
Notes (If any)
Progress Bars
| Progress Legend |
| Vancouverite Sojourn | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Balancing | Proofreading | |
| Vancouver in MITK | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Satanic Challenge | Proofreading | |
| Javascript | |||||||
| Learning | Learning | Learning | Learning | Testing | Testing | Game Creation (Maze) | |
| Rooms | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Easter Eggs | Proofreading | |
| Priest Goofball, the main boss of Chapter Number 4 of Deltarune | |||||||
| Mid-Term Attacks | Regular Attacks | Music | Boss Sprites | Cutscene Polish | Cutscenes | Acts | Spells |
Click here to see it in its full glory.
Thank you for reading Gerg's Shitroom.
Thank you for reading Gerg's Shitroom.
Go to the UnSignpost
🍁 gergdown 🍁 🌑 19:12, 11 October 2025 (UTC)
And we actually got 10 votes!! Holy shit!!
That's right. Video essay actually got featured on VFH. With a grand total of ten votes, it's uh—well it's featured. Ain't that cool?? Ten votes?? The double digit number of votes?? Whatever. But also, soon after Video essay got featured, Turb0-Sunrise nominated his article HowTo:Behave Yourself on VFH. It currently sits at -2.5 votes. He nominated Surprisium to "piss me off", he nominated HowTo:Behave Yourself to "tick me off", what's next? Is he gonna nominated Skyscraper (whenever that article comes out) to "shit me off"? Oh yeah, and when I tried reporting on the UnSignpost that Video essay got 10 votes on VFH, and thus, should be going on VFH Highlight on the week, he redacted it! But it was probably because we then agreed that Moccasins should've been the highlight.
Apparently I'm nominated for adminship???
Wait what the fuck
Uh... so apparently I got nominated for admin on VFS? What the actual fuck? I haven't even gotten rollbacker yet! I mean, vote whatever your heart desires, but like—what the actual hell? I have a chance to become an admin? Holy shit! That's kinda huge!
Should I add an "Ask Gerg" section here?
Why not?
The "Ask ####" trend started on who-the-fuck-cares. The most important part is that Turb0 and Forum:Ask OPOSSUM are doing it, so should I? The bestest of questions shall be put on the most recent issue.
You are not entitled to view results of this poll before you have voted.
The UnSignpost-Gerg's Shitroom merger?
Oh damn it actually happened LOL
Yeah... the merger happened. Though nothing changed... sorry, LOL!
Best Quote of the Whenever
- "U got a big stick? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" — OPOSSUM
Announcement
- Somewhat important, if you want your Gerg Shitroom issues mailed directly to your hou—talk page, go to this page.
Notes (If any)
Progress Bars
| Progress Legend |
| Vancouverite Sojourn | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Balancing | Proofreading | |
| Vancouver in MITK | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Satanic Challenge | Proofreading | |
| Javascript | |||||||
| Learning | Learning | Learning | Learning | Testing | Testing | Game Creation (Maze) | |
| Rooms | |||||||
| Planning | Image Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Page Creation | Easter Eggs | Proofreading | |
| Priest Goofball, the main boss of Chapter Number 4 of Deltarune | |||||||
| Mid-Term Attacks | Regular Attacks | Music | Boss Sprites | Cutscene Polish | Cutscenes | Acts | Spells |
Click here to see it in its full glory.
Thank you for reading Gerg's Shitroom.
Thank you for reading Gerg's Shitroom.
Go to the UnSignpost
🍂 gergdown 🍂 🌑 19:34, 15 October 2025 (UTC)
Oh God, not another UnSignpost![edit source]
By Turb0-Sunrise
We just got over Gerg's Shitroom existing[1], and now we have yet another competitor. TropicalPanther's "New Tropical Times" has arrived on the newspaper scene this last Sunday. Damn it, I wanted the cool job nobody else had! And seriously, what's with this line? L10N! GET IN HERE AND FIX THIS!------------
Turb0-Sunrise in the Ho(u)S(e)?
By Turb0-Sunrise
Among many random events going on today, UnSignpost editor Turb0-Sunrise has made it into the Hall of Shame with his latest
article, Road Rage.
Sockpuppets
By who do you think
We have a socker! Wikicreator2562 is a rampant sockpuppeteer. With 5 confirmed socks, be on the lookout for any article on the fictional piece of bullshit Cherbia, or anything concerning the HowTo Store.
Biopic
Gergdown, formerly Theultimategergdown, is the creator of articles such as Lawrencium, as well as Make it to Ketchikan's Vancouverite Sojourn, is
- {{{q1}}}
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From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
- Velociraptor (6.5/0)
- HowTo:Eat an orange (1/0)
- Moccasins (8.5/0)
VFH Highlight Of The Week Road Rage (10/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News
Quote of the Week """"Who wants to see some absoloute dogshit soon" -Turb0-Sunrise" -Gergdown", after responding to the quote from Issue 5, "who wants to hear some absoloute dogshit soon" — Turb0-Sunrise"-Gergdown
CUN Turb0-Sunrise, Esquire . 14:11, 8 October 2025 (UTC)
- ↑ because it's actually funny. Nice work, gerg.