User talk:Raliter

Welcome!

Hello, Raliter! I'm Andorin Kato, and I'll be your designated Uncyclopedian welcomer today. Congratulations on deciding to join Uncyclopedia! Most likely I've noticed your contributions in Recent Changes, and decided that you need a proper introduction to this strange new world you've entered. If that's the case, then take a look at the following links: Beginner's Guide How to be funny and not just stupid The above links outline the basics of what Uncyclopedia is (and isn't) and the two fundamental rules of being an Uncyclopedian. Make sure you give them a whirl. Also, if you want more information about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these: About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends The QVFD page, the inevitable fate of articles about your friends, schoolmates, teachers, etc (in other words, people we've never heard of and aren't likely to care about), blatant one-liners, and things like this Our in-jokes page, in case you ever get confused I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! If you treat Uncyclopedia well, it will reward you with a whole new world of philosophy, science, literature, opinion, and just plain classic comedy. When posting on forum pages, talk pages, etc., please sign your name by typing four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date, and avoid the aggravation that goes along with unsigned comments. If you need help with anything, feel free to ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Village Dump (article-related concerns should go in Pee Review and nothing-related comments should go in Benson's place). One final note: if you're interested in learning about Uncyclopedia at the hands of an experienced editor, please drop by our Adopt-A-Noob page and request adoption. So once again, welcome to Uncyclopedia, and have a great time! --Andorin Kato

Gun, The Game

Hi, I moved it to your userspace for further work. Currently it's locater here. It was supposed to be deleted under two different clauses (WIP and ICU expired) but it seems that you put some work in it, and it looked like a shame. Try working on it on your free time and improve it. Good luck. ~ 13:24, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

IC

welcome to colonization, raliter. to be officially inducted, get to work on this week's colonization. check out this page to read up on and discuss the article's direction. good luck! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:44, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

Hey Faggot!

Or alternatively, hi there! I noticed your name was listed on IC. I also noticed that our latest project is in need of some help. So I put two and two together and realized I should ask Modus. When he told me to get bent, I immediately thought of you. I'm setting an arbitrary deadline for this one at next week Saturday, so if sometime in the next week you can tear yourself away from your porn collection and maybe contribute a line or two it'd be appreciated. We're counting on you, <insert name here>! -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:25, 23 May Dictated; not read.

An important announcement from your friends at IC.

Did you know *snicker*...Ahem. Did you know that SYSRQ IS TEH GHEYZORS? LOLOLOL!

Also, we've decided to keep our Colonization preojects contained to Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/project for your watchlisting convenience. Put it in your watchlist and try to remember to add a cuss word or something once in a while eh?

Also also, I heard that Gerry likes the smell of his own farts.

Have fun Colonizers and let's be careful out there. -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:05, 6 Jun

Kittens

That was good article, thanks! --Clemens177 19:00, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Attention Colonizers!

The brief era of peace we've been enjoying has once again been shattered by the IP horde. And since those pot smoking, tree hugging liberal faggots repealed the draft the IC forces are stuck with the likes of you. You are therefore ordered to report to the front lines at once for briefing. Once we have decided our plan of attack, we'll march into battle post haste. You're dismissed Raliter. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:29, 11 Sep

Okay, you mangy colonists.

I've been commissioned by Mooshy to rerererevitalize IC. I'm to be the glorious leader, etc. because Sissy, Gerry, and Opty have all fucked off. So, I have a few general ideas to start with on what to do. First of all, no fucking infighting. What's said by the authority figures goes. This is Imperial Colonization, not Imperial United States Congress. Second, there should be more of a limit on articles for nomination. Somewhere between 5 and 10. We'll never get to all 17 that are up there if people's votes are so scattered. Third, an active recruiting drive. It fits the name. We're going to draft Satirical Soldiers to deal with the bloody natives at those shit articles on IC. This said, I still want to hear all of your opinions on what to do. Either drop me a line on my talk page, or I'm on IRC damn near all day very weekday. So lets get going, Colonizers! Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 16:41, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

Please forgive me my buccaneering

Also please forgive me for posting the same notice on more than one person's talk page. Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization finally finished its latest effort, Transformers. Actually, it had been on IC for four months and no one objected to a couple notices about it being moved to mainspace. So I asked admin and IC member MrN9000 to move it, which he did, complete with talk page and history, which I greatly appreciated. Then I wondered when someone would update the list at Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/The Big Board, but saw the note "Tagstit, SysRq, and Gerry are the only ones who need to be editing this template." But sadly, the most recent Uncyclopedia edit by a member of the trilogy was two months ago. MrN9000 basically said if it was OK with active colonizer Optimuschris it was OK with him if I updated the list, which was all I planned to do. But then MrN said "Consider yourself the new director of IC." I really appreciate his help and encouragement, but all I was trying to do was get the list updated, and now I'm afraid I may have unintentionally stepped on some toes. I would be happy to carry this through the next article, if that's not a problem with anyone in IC, but never intended to cause a conflict with anyone. Please let me know if there's a problem here, and what we can do to fix it. You can see the discussions here and there. Thanks! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  08:50, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Semi-official Imperial Colonization

For once, a short note from me. I'm apparently now running Imperial Colonization. I plan to open it up for nominations for the next colonization on Sunday, 31 January 2010, so will make an official announcement then. In the meantime, I've made some changes, and would love suggestions (see Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization and User:Why do I need to provide this?/Imperial Colonization). Thanks for any help you can give me! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:51, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

ATTENTION COLONIZER

Duty Calls! Imperial Colonization has been commandeered! With a shiny new, waterproof coat, we're heading out to sea once again. We need you for our next colonization. You have one week to nominate or vote from right now, Sunday the 31st of January 2010, to Saturday the 6th of February 2010. (See Protocol for how to nominate an article for Colonization. And remember, if you vote for an article that means you intend to help colonize it.) Then starting Sunday, 7 February 2010, we will start colonizing another savage land (i.e., improving whichever article gets the most votes). Come on board and vote or nom now, to the glory of Her Majesty!

EXTRA: Our most recent colonization, Transformers, has just been Pee Reviewed. If you're interested in making improvements, please check out the article and the review. With a little work, we may have another glorious Feature article! Wouldn't that be just spiffy? And remember, if you participate and this does get featured, you get one half feature credit!

For the Glory of Her Majesty and by Order of your Fearful Fearless Leader, King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:31, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

ATTENTION COLONIZERS: WE ARE RECREATING CREATIONISM

The Bible says God created the world in six days by himself--our crew of talented colonizers can surely recreate an article in a week and a half! Remember, any Colonizer is welcome to work on our current project, which is the Creationism article. But before you begin, check "READ THIS FIRST" at the top. From Sunday, 7 February to Wednesday, 10 February 2010, a hearty crew of brave colonizers plotted a strong course for the article by consensus. We have the beginning of a great colonization, so go forth and colonize to the glory of Her Majesty!

Special Note for Lobsterbacks (i.e. those who signed up but haven't yet worked on a successful colonization). We plan to keep your name on the honored membership list if you make worthwhile contribution to the article or other parts of Imperial Colonization between 31 January 2010 and the end of this project. If your name is removed from the list, you are welcome to reapply when you plan to become active. User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig10 05:10, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

User:Why do I need to provide this?/IC Batman Begins User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig10 03:36, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

User:Why do I need to provide this?/IC Why plank King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  16:37, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Discordianism vote needed quickly and member retirement

User:Why do I need to provide this?/Discordianism vote King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:17, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Vote now for Colonisation

Hello ladies, gentlemen, and other,

As you may be aware we have now reached the point where April's Colonisation, Discordianism, has been successfully moved to mainspace, and we are currently voting on our colonisation for May.

As I have been press-ganged encouraged strongly to take the reigns of IC, I'm sending this out to remind all current and previous members of IC to vote on next months colonisation. Voting is taking place here as we speak. As of 1st of May I will be announcing the page that will get our tender mercies, so I encourage you to vote - or nominate - now.

Good luck, and may the farce be with you!

Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 03:35, Apr 27 2010 UTC

Addendum

---

Discordianism has been added to VFH. Go, read, enjoy, vote. Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 09:45, Apr 28 2010 UTC

Avast me hearties!

By the powers! this e'er be fer a reminder o' tha great, grand Imperial Colonization be startin' up again! Whether you be a sprog or a privateer we be expectin' ya ta come 'round an participate in this sweet trade lessen' you be a lily-livered squiffy, scallywag, or scurvy dog thar. Aye! ~ Buccaneer Happytimes.

(See also: Forum:Drumming up the IC furor!)

The current project: Dinosaur

Now in the writing phase (Oh UN:IC, how your rules are now broken....)