User talk:Pottsm

I added a photo

Hi. I added a photo to your "Thong @ work" page. Should you not like it, feel free to delete it. Smuggler. Hey Bud, good work on the Teddy bear article. I added a few things. Hope you like it.

Peace be upon you and upon all in the Muslim Brotherhood. :) Refreshing2924 16:53, 3 December 2007 (UTC)Refreshing2924

Hello, Pottsm, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome! Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk)

Welcome to UnNews and Merry Kaizum Me!

To start on a sad note, taps were played for the article UnNews:Tom Cruise to star in TV soap this afternoon when I deleted it. The picture is great, but frankly, the quality of writing, sloppiness, and complete inadherance to Ignorable Policies. Do not fret or panic, however. All you need (and I use the word "need" loosely) to become a fabled UnNews writer has been documented by the legendary zim... that would be me. So, take heart and please try again to contribute to the monolith that is UnNews. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:25, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Pottsm, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

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You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

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If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

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If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

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At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

I invented this holiday about a week ago...

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me! the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

Ow Do, Old Bean

Hi, I've redirected your new Category:UK to Category:British which we already have, and is quite well populated. You can now use either. Always nice to see another Brit at Uncyclopedia, and I like your Home Office News article. :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

thought I'd tell you

You really ought to fix UnNews:McCall in Face stuck / Wind Change shock so that most humans have a clue what the Hell it's about. That's why I NRVd it... this time, at least, your work wasn't huffed... but it will be if someone doesn;t make it more betterrer. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:28, 11 January 2007 (UTC)

Its a British thing, Zim. It might work better if you could find a bigger version of the picture, the one that you have uploaded is too small to see her face properly. Try for at least 250 pixels across.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Oh, a British thing... why didn't you say so? I grovel before the Queen and the loo, and face my retribution like a man. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:12, 18 January 2007 (UTC)

Nice work

...on UnNews:165 today, Muhammad Ali's "greatest" quotes. thought I'd let you know, and sing your praises. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:57, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

Good Job on 12 year old victim of Religious Intolerance

Good job on that article, there aren't too many articles out there I find as funny as my own but yours is one of them --Uncle J 16:17, 21 February 2007 (UTC)

UnNews: Slave Trade Apology

Love what you've done with that, its concentrated evil. Keep up the great work! :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Jihadists!!!! Fantastic.....you should come and visit us in IRC, during the day its full of Brits, all the dirty foreigners only arrive after dark. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Moved

You may have noticed I've moved two of your three contributions today to User:Pottsm/Queen Rages at Photographer After "Cleavage request" and User:Pottsm/Queen Fumes Photographer for "More Cleavage" Request because they're pretty much duplicated efforts, and IMHO not that funny, but mostly crude. Feel free to fix them, disagree with me, or whatever... you know where I live if you want to tell me to piss off. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:07, 12 July 2007 (UTC)

I haven't checked out the new article yet, but statistically it will make the top three stories... then again, maybe not... in any case, you're welcome for the heads up and the Tasmanian Gold, Panama Red, and salvia. Cheers and such! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:22, 12 July 2007 (UTC)

You need a user page!

Could you do me a favour? I've been moving a lot of pages with inappropriate capatilisation (at least in the standard for UnNews concieved in my tiny mind), and a fair number are yours. Would you save me a bit of work and please capitalise only proper nouns and the first letter of article titles? And for the love of God, please keep the great stories coming! Thanks and cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:34, 17 July 2007 (UTC)

UnNews: Uncyclopedia News Correspondent Forced to Create UserPage

In a startling development yesterday, one of our British News Correspondents was forced to create a userpage complete with "amusing" commentary and graphic imagery in what the press are calling unprecidated interference on behalf of the "nanny state". Civil rights activitists have been quick to comment on the situation, which one bleedy heart pansy asking "Who do these guys think they are, eh?" Currently the News Correspondent has not released an official statement, though collegues claim that he would "rather create the news than to create the news, if you know what I mean". We'll be back on the hour with the latest updates. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Editorial

Rudey's, rudeys, or rudeys' are not ok, but nudeys are nice any day. — H. Peebles - D - HS 06:42, 30 July 2007 (UTC)

Congratulations!

...on your winning the Foolitzer... you rock! Oh, and for finally making a muthu-f**king user page! Cheers, ya mancky Scot git! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:37, 9 August 2007 (UTC)

I've had to delete UnNews:TV advert "trivialises" domestic murder' because it's plagerism, and that's not allowed. I actually don't know if you've done this with any other of your stories, and because I'm lazy, I'll ask you to let me or another admin know so they can be deleted, and Uncyc can be a responsible internet citizen with an evil agenda. Cheers and thanks! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:29, 26 September 2007 (UTC)

Insincere whatever accepted, and I raise you 10 Euros... if they're worth anything in the UK, that is. Otherwise, I'll sleep better tonight knowing your brilliant and plenteous contributions are indeed of your own evil design and execution. Warning: do not try to understand the sentences I write: they're dangerous and bulbous. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:02, 27 September 2007 (UTC)

Lead article

Hi, when you're updating the lead article, please make sure to move the previous lead to second lead and the second to third and third to fourth and so on and so fourth.... Thank. ~ 13:16, 21 November 2007 (UTC)

Your government putting prices on our heads article

Absolutely love the concept here but think you could perhaps make the article even better. You could start by moving swiftly on from the number of deaths to talk about the financial implications for the government, as if the death toll was relatively unimportant. You could then develop this in a number of ways. For example you could quote the PMs intentions of how to recoup the money by, say, turning the heating down a notch at westminster and switching to low energy light bulbs, thereby saving the world from global warming into the bargain. Alternatively you could say that the government claim to be unworried by the "so-called crisis" as they expect to more than make back their hitman fees on death duties.

Even if you ignore all the above you should at least take out the exlaimation mark since it doesn't fit with the understated tone of the article.

I think if you do a bit more work this article it could be worth featuring on the main page since it's got the great concept that hold unnews articles together. If you can't be bothered to do any more and you don't mind someone else editing it I'd be more than happy to take it on.

Cheers --Kelpan 00:47, 24 November 2007 (UTC)

UnNews:Immigrants now "taking most of the air we breath"

Nice!

I have to say that I was quite impressed that the Daily Fucktard managed to somehow blame the housing crisis on immigrants. They've obviously been studying Goebbels' writings. I think a Mail article called 'What Britain can learn from the Warsaw Ghetto' is probably in the post Sean.hoyland - tak() 05:45, 18 January 2008 (UTC)

Great Work

On the Dead Gardener story......love it. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Unless I'm terribly mistaken...

...this is a Zim thing. You can edit it, but really shouldn't (especially if you're putting in your own article). It's Zim's baby. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 12:51, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Throroughly enjoyed UnNews:Gordon Brown "strikes a pose" in bid to become fashion model; I'm thinking it should be categorised additionaly as Category:Things created whilst high on pot, but thought I'd wait and see if either that is true, or if it's just a great category, and it should be spread around. Frankly, much of Uncyc may have been written under the influence of something, so I'm inclined to tag articles with it regardless of veracity. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:15, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Foolitzer

Thought you'd like to know you've been nommed for the Foolitzer again! Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:11, December 24, 2009 (UTC)