User:Pottsm/Queen Fumes Photographer for "More Cleavage" Request

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

12 July 2007

Artists impression of what the photo might have looked like.

THE QUEEN is seen storming off after a run-in with photographer Burt Cockspurtz during an Unnews documentary. Cockspurtz tells the Queen he thinks her shot will look better "with a little more of that famous "Royal Bosom" on show".

The Queen's response was, perhaps unsurprising, "If Prince Philip hasn't laid eyes on my fleshy pillows since 1956 then you certainly won't be clapping your eyes on them!" and walks off in a hissy huff. The Queen is also shown telling Cockspurtz: "I've had enough of dressing like a whore for you pornographic rag, thank you very much."

The Sun newspaper's royal photographer Arthur Norks says the nation has missed out on a treat and is disappointed with the Queen's refusal. He told Unnews that "it would have been great to see the Queen get her baps out for the nation, even if she stopped short of showing any nipple, though that would have been good too! Phwoar!".

Norks confessed that he himself is not adverse to asking outlandish requests of Royals, "the Prince of Wales revealed an arse cheek to me back in 1981, which was nice. He did unfortunately take exception when I asked if Lady Diana would like to perform oral sex on 'his throbbing Royal Member' though."

"But my motto has always been 'if yer don't ask yer don't get'!"

Sources

• yes, thats it baby F**K the camera, F**K IT! "Now if you could just show a little more" BBC, July 12, 2007