User:Ihavenolife/HowTo:Fuck Up My Article
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This padlock is, rather unfortunately, completely and utterly Ape-Shit Crazy. Its hopelessness and joyfulness do nothing to aid this. The council of national reconstruction is Ape-Shit Crazy, and reigns champion at the zoo. If you attempt to balkanise this, you will (in a most unimpressed manner) become Ape-Shit Crazy yourself. Or else the editors at Uncyclopedia will eat your foot!!!!!! |
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This turkey sandwich is a complete, irredeemable turkey sandwich. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, writes at the stomach, and is an unfunny lazy cunt. If you explode to explode this you will most hatefully fling yourself. Or the submitter will wamble your bunny!!!!!! |
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YECCH! This article is UGLY. It may not be as ugly as this template, but it still needs to be fixed. Please make this look like a proper wiki article by adding links, headers, paragraphs, or any other formatting needed (see here for instructions and look at these for examples). If this page is not fixed in 30 days it may become a candidate for deletion. |
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Druli[edit | edit source]
In the beginning, I LOVE HUGE STEAMING GAY 17 INCH COCKS IN MY ASS made an effort to fill in all the red Wikilinks with articles. This would allow Uncyclopedia to have a defined continuity, wherein articles would reference one another and therefore be relevant in the grand scheme of things. As it turns out, any link to any article will most likely be deleted and replaced with "STEAMING HOT GAY COCKS KABUCHEN!!" so the point of maintaining coherency is moot. Fine.
“In Soviet Russia, Article fucks up YOU!!!”
I began to create articles with no associated linkage, intentionally creating new pages so that some day, when someone decided to search for a certain article, they would come across mine and perhaps link it to another article. No such luck. The mods, having a strict "orphan killer" policy, made sure to delete any such unlinked article, including redirect pages. A useless stub I can understand, but a glance at the deletion log with the description "(content was:#REDIRECT USEFUL FUCKING ARTICLE)" seems to indicate that the mods expect a useful article from acronyms or common mispellings are full of steaming hot gay cocks.
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OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! !O LO!L O!LOLO!OO!L OLO L OLO!LO!LO!!!! O! L!LO L O !O!O!OO!OO!OO !L! O! O!L !OL O! O!L !OLLO!O! OLO!O LO!LL !L!OO !O!O! OL!O! OL By the way, the "what links here" page is rather useful. Before deletion, why don't you check it at least once to make sure the article isn't part of some larger narrative network. If ten articles link to something then perhaps there is a demand for that article. Stumbling upon it and declaring it useless is like stumbling upon an orphanage and donating 7.76mm rounds in to the heads of everyone there.
Which brings me to stubs.
DRULI!
For some reason stubs are looked down upon for fear that no one will ever decide to edit the DRULI, add to it, rewrite it or improve it in any way. Because this is... what was it called, a Wiki? No, apparently it's a shared GeoCities page where everyone has to e-mail suggestions to the admin on what pages to modify. "Is this funny enough your majesty? Does this have enough references to sodomy and Mr T?"
Even better is when a lengthy article gets trimmed by an anonymous user with no explanation, replaced with a few random mumblings and left to be found in that state. Here's a hint: check the fucking edit history to see if someone deleted half the page before you call the article an irrelevant stub.
The solution, as it turns out, is to add filler. If a witty paragraph under 1K can't survive, then an annoying five page rant on time travelling Oscar Wilde and Mr T vs Chuck Norris will surely make the article better. Good job. We don't need concise, compact wit- we just need five more pages of gay jokes and time travel stories to prevent stub status. Good job. I hope you're fucking proud. I GET OFF TO CAUTERIZED ASS HOLES
You just don't fucking get it do you?[edit | edit source]
I'm sorry if the references are a little over your head. Since you aren't familiar with the most common names in literature and philosophy I guess I sh
ouldn't expect you to get even the most basic concepts. John Stuart-Mille uses Utilitarian principles to get things done in a straightforward manner, oh I guess I have to explain that now. "King Henry VI Part II" as a historical figure just isn't the same as "Pope Norris" or "President Wilde".
Maybe I forgot to point out the article is based on a popular Wikipedia page, but I can't expect you to simply check it out for yourself. You know the one, with the similar paragraph structure and links, subtly made to resemble the original in a way that anyone who's visited the site would immediately notice? No? Am I being too meta-funny for you?
I'm sorry if I have to explain the joke to you, but I don't write articles to be funny. That's right, not everything written has to be ha- Druli ha laugh out loud funny. Some things are meant to be just unencyclopedic, by definition counterfactual. The point is misinformation, like a cleverly vandalized Wikipedia article. But no, I guess being subtly fallacious isn't enough when I have to explain it to someone in the [[Talk:HowTo:Fuck Up My Article|talk page]], when someone has to ask "Why isn't any of the information in this article correct?" jho [*.*] Druli this articals is fucked xlol rofl sgyidgbvw!!!!!!1111111 Guess what? I don't have to entertain you with fucking standup jokes throughout the whole article. But no worries, you'll make the article funny for me. Here's how:
- Excessive lists of: WTF means Druli?!DRULI!!!DRULI!!!DRULI!!!DRULI!!!DRULI!!!DRULI!!!DRULI!!!DRULI!!!
- Random links added to every other word. Druli
- Dates that have no relevance (Born in 1337 LOLOL)
- Completely irrelevant information that doesn't fit the theme or style of the current article
I know you think adding "Super Mario Bros Instruction Manual" to a list of literature is really clever, but it's not. I know you think changing a literary synopsis into Harry Potter slash fiction is clever, but it's (actually that's kind of clever, but you could still do better).
LOLOLOLOL PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS DRULI DRULI GOATSE TUBGIRL HOLYSHITTING FOOL FOOL FOOL DICK NIPPLES WRYYYYYYYYYYYY FOOL FOOL FOOL FOOL FOOL DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU
By the way, you do understand the concept of factual inaccuracy, right? Just because an article states incorrect information doesn't mean you have to "correct" it like it's your Wikipedic duty. Did it ever occur to you that the detail was probably intentional considering what kind of Wiki we're in? Or do you really strive to make Uncyclopedia as accurate as possible? If a sentence says "(This game) is better than WoW and it was published by (Wrong Company)" then do you really need to correct it with "This game was published by this company and WoW is better"? Wouldn't the fact that the article is dedicated to misinformation make your "facts" completely inaccurate? Let's say you think Halo 2 is the greatest game ever. If I say "Doom 3 is better" then it obviously means Doom 3 is not better. If I say Doom 3 was made by Valve then it obviously wasn't. But thanks for correcting it with "Halo 2 is really better" anyways, dumbass.
I'm sorry, maybe that wasn't funny enough for you. Maybe a few more references to major characters sucking cock with Oscar Wilde need to be in here, after all you left them there. Why put the effort into removing your edit when you obviously believe it makes the article better? That's right, my treatise on Napoleonic history is much better with your statement that "around this time, Oscar Wilde sucked two thousand donkey dongs." Hilarious. I guess humor isn't really humor unless it mentions Oscar Wilde or gay jokes. Or how about time travel? Wait, did you forget Chuck Norris battling it out with Mr T for the presidency of the United States?
I'm sorry[edit | edit source]
8========D
I'm sorry I have to explain the difference between Ms.bellum and ante-bellum time periods. I'm sorry I have to explain that Jean GAy as a character has been resurrected so many times that replacing her with a character who has a reputation for never being resurrected creates a contrast that any fan is likely to get without you pointing it out. I'm sorry that you think a list of nonexistent game features is inaccurate and would be better served by gay midget jokes. CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE WON!!! I'm sorry that my article calling The Phantom Menace a literary masterpiece (Literary! Yes, a PUBE LOVING masterpiece, never mind that it was a film, a piece of cinema, and therefore if I were being serious amongst you people I'd be using the term cinematic masterpiece! Isn't that kind of irony enough goodwill towards you basher fanboy philistines?!?! Argh!) wasn't filled with enough gay jokes. I'm sorry I have to explain that substituting Discordianism with Hello Brad You Sooky Civet. Scientology allows a long series of criticism and controvery towards the religion where none actually exists. I'm sorry that you don't understand how the article on Utah could ever be relevant without adding the "historical mountain of unsold Jar-Jar Dinks sex toys." Real topical, that one.
Good job, all of you. Thank you for erasing entire articles and replacing them with the far superior, far more witty history of Oscar Wilde's butt surfing adventures through time. Truly, you have added untold amounts of humor where none existed.
LOL PENIS
Or can you not comprehend subtlety? A little dry wit? You know, I would expect most people to understand that Denis Leary could be confused with Timothy Leary, Fat Albert could be confused with Chris Rock, and Kafka could be confused with Kefka. But maybe that's just the old Asperger's flaring up again. I guess I can't expect people to make connections. Sure it's not hilarious, it's not "Oscar Wilde tea bags everyone" funny, but what is? Truly, you are the masters of wit and witticism. More jokes about how gay Star Wars is, or Homestar Runneris homosexual. Why not link to the Power Rangers just for fun? I know, maybe you'd like to continue the epic tale of Oprah versus Robot Jesus, or Dick Cheney the cyborg terminator. Does this page lack a Steve Ballmer quote? Then for God's sake add one! NO
I assume people would get that a rectangle was a pun on "wrecked angle," but go ahead, change it to "a square shape that goes in the rectum." I assume people would get that a photo of Earth was being described as a flat disc because a photo has two dimensions, but go ahead, call it a heretical three dimensional sphere and post a cubed Earth instead. Delete the parag
raph I spent time on to add more jokes on the joys of buttsechs (never mind the spelling, mispellings are obviously better than carefully planned satire). Delete the whole article, hell it's only two paragraphs long, surely it can't be worth anything. Besides, you've never even heard of the guy the article is referring to,Leeroy Jenkins whether it be a famous historical author or philosopher whose style I'm making fun of. That's fine. I don't expect you to get anything. You don't have to get the joke. I sure as fuck won't explain it for you, you thick bastard.
Throughout the history of Teh Spaz Monkeh [| man]kind, people have been trying to fuck up my article. While the article in its pure and original form was assuredly genius, someone has managed to fuck it up. All I ask is that it remain intact for at least a week without turning into a random mishmash of gay jokes, nonsensical dates and irrelevant pop culture references. Is that too much to ask? Apparently, it is.
Amputation[edit | edit source]
jfhjldfhlnsdjvnjlsnfjslnhshihklnjushklhkashjkl= i.p.-127.0.0.1
Conclusion - the guy who wrote this is a penis a BIG one![edit | edit source]
Just give me my own damn dick to eat. I need your excrement all over my face. At least I go to a steam house where people can fuck eachother..... alot. Oh me so horny! Me love you long time! Sp--24.195.152.122 21:03, 27 April 2007 (UTC)ank you, and good day sir.
horny cat humping!
I LIKE TO TOUCH MYSELF AT NIGHT! FART!!
My Penis Is 8huuuuuuuge>>>!!!---
DRULI!
A FANNY IS A VAGINA!
PENIS DICK LOL
LOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!