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THIS ARTICLE A SPLODE.
Jesus Loves This Article
The Jee Man Himself has Shown, in His infinite Wisdom, that He is the Ultimate Purveyor of all things Awesome, Nifty, Spiffy, and generally Interesting. He has personally Reviewed this article and Given His Blessing. The submitter may be Forgiven three venial sins or one mortal sin.
Captain Picard Is Aroused By This Page
Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise (United Federation of Planets registration number NCC-1701D) finds the content of this page most satisfactory indeed. The gentle, flowing narrative prose contained within this page conjures memories of the smooth skin, supple thighs, and ratty knotted scarlet bush of Dr. Beverly Crusher. Which, if you're Captain Picard is quite a nice thing, I suppose. Speaking personally, that's one of the more revolting mental images of the day, but to each their own.
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Minitrue mark article doubleplusgoodthink. Miniluv make goodthink fullwise. |
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Why did you make this article? Don't you love me? |
| Mwa ha ha ha ha!
This user wants to drink your blood!
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 | This page is an archive. The contents have been moved from another page for reference purposes only, and should be preserved in their current form. Discussion or voting on this page is not current. Any additions you make will probably not be read. |
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 | DANGER!! Viewing this page could be deadly ... or worse. 21,133 users are currently castrated, paralyzed, infected with Herpes, and/or disfigured. If you just got here and are feeling dizzy or you lost a pint of blood from the stump where your arm used to be, please stumble away and call for help, lay down in the gutter and pass out. |
| The author of this article does not care at all if you edit it – heck, your stuff is probably funnier than theirs. |
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THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS ONE OR MORE WORDS OR PHRASES KNOWN BY THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO CAUSE CANCER, BIRTH DEFECTS AND OTHER REPRODUCTIVE HARM.
Neither Uncyclopedia nor the original author of this article condone cruelty to animals.
The writer of this article is a pinko/lefty and has an outrageous liberal UK-centric outlook.
They may even work in Local government or, worse, be an unelected eurocrat. For information on the best way to save our great nation from scum like this read the Daily Mail. (Pstt. He's probably also a commie as well; quick - tell HUAC!)
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Minitrue mark article doubleplusgoodthink. Miniluv make goodthink fullwise. |
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Somebody set up us the bomb. For great justice take off every 'zig'. |
Attempt to explain joke
This article attempts to explain a joke in minute detail, as if to an idiot, a very small child, or a very small child who is also an idiot. It also attempts to explain its own explanation, which, if successful, could result in crashing the universe. Please do not crash the universe.
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The information contained in this article is dangerous.
Do not try this at home, kids; go over to a friend's house.
The neutrality and factual accuracy of this article are disputed.
This article is a freak of nature. Please point and laugh at it on its talk page.
Avert thine eyes!
This page is extremely offensive and should not be viewed by anyone! (It may even be illegal in several countries as well.)
 | This article is likely to be eaten by a grue. I suggest you protect yourself or play a game of Zork: The GReat Underground Empire before it eats you too. |
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This article is insane. The article submitter may need psychotherapy, and as such, this article should be taken as gospel. You can help Uncyclopedia by restraining the article in a rubber room. |
Jesus Loves This Article
The Jee Man Himself has Shown, in His infinite Wisdom, that He is the Ultimate Purveyor of all things Awesome, Nifty, Spiffy, and generally Interesting. He has personally Reviewed this article and Given His Blessing. The submitter may be Forgiven three venial sins or one mortal sin.
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This page has no adult content. Would you add some? |
The information contained in this article can cause emotional damage to women, children, ocelots, and metrosexuals.
If you are one of them, please see this article's page just for you.
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This article may not be suitable for all audiences. This article contains content not suitable for people with the brain of a person under 14 inches (35.5cm) tall or TransVestites. |
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THÏS ÄRTÏCLË RÄẄKS Höẅëvër, ït nëëds mörë ümläüts. |
 | Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that the Skull Kid was possessed by the demon sealed within Majora's Mask, Tony Montana dies in a raid on his mansion, Deckard is a Replicant, too, Creedy kills Sutler and is in turn killed by the mortally wounded V, Heathcliff finally dies, and Catherine and Hareton get married, Henry testifies against his best friend and goes into the Witness Protection Program, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!! |
| Warning: The above text may have contained spoilers If it did, please call 1-800-NBDY-CRS or email nobody.cares@thisisnotarealemailserver.com. |
| It is a violation of federal, state, and/or international law to view this article. Thus, YOU MAY NOT VIEW THIS ARTICLE. Violators will be punished with instant decapitation and a $20,000 fine. |
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Faulknerized!
For the sake of satire, comedy, wit, The Ha! Ha! Quaker, Kitten Huffers, and Sophia, this piece of Uncyclopedian literature, has undergone substantial and pertinent Faulknerization in the first sentence, with the intention to cultivate a more apropos and salient reading experience for all Uncyclopedians who might be entreated to endeavor a viewing upon this entry when the fancy strikes and such an uncontrollable lust for content-free misinformation overwhelms the reader that only Sir Oscar Wilde himself, through his abundent and comprehensive acumen, and his quotings can satisfy the demon urge. |
THIS ARTICLE A SPLODE.
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Member of the Order of Uncyclopedia This person has successfully registered on Uncyclopedia. They should be proud of themselves for making such a smart move. |
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