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Captain Picard Is Aroused By This Article Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise (United Federation of Planets registration number NCC-1701D) finds the content of this article most satisfactory indeed. The gentle, flowing narrative prose contained within this article conjures memories of the smooth skin, supple thighs, and ratty knotted scarlet bush of Dr. Beverly Crusher. Which, if you're Captain Picard is quite a nice thing, I suppose. Speaking personally, that's one of the more revolting mental images of the day, but to each their own. |
Minitrue mark article doubleplusgoodthink. Miniluv make goodthink fullwise. |
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Why did you make this article? Don't you love me? |
Mwa ha ha ha ha!
This user wants to drink your blood!
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![]() | This page is an archive. The contents have been moved from another page for reference purposes only, and should be preserved in their current form. Discussion or voting on this page is not current. Any additions you make will probably not be read. |
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The author of this article does not give a flying fuck if you edit it – heck, your stuff is probably funnier than theirs. |
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Minitrue mark article doubleplusgoodthink. Miniluv make goodthink fullwise. |
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Somebody set up us the bomb. For great justice take off every 'zig'. |

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This article is insane. The article submitter may need psychotherapy, and as such, this article should be taken as gospel. You can help Uncyclopedia by restraining the article in a rubber room. |
![]() | Approved by the Kansas State Board of Education |
Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Lord Asriel and Mrs. Coulter defeat the archangel together so that Lyra and Will can save the world, the chick in The Crying Game is a dude, Janus grows up to be Magus, the remote control is real, but doesn't appear again in random places when destroyed, Neo gets turned into a Smith shortly after causing a reaction that causes all the Smiths to die, thus, he dies, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!! |
![]() | Warning: The above text may have contained spoilers What? Oh shit! I should have told you earlier. My bad. |
![]() | It is a violation of federal, state, and/or international law to view this article. Thus, YOU MAY NOT VIEW THIS ARTICLE. Violators will be punished with instant decapitation and a $20,000 fine. |
Faulknerized!
For the sake of satire, comedy, wit, The Ha! Ha! Quaker, Kitten Huffers, and Sophia, this piece of Uncyclopedian literature, has undergone substantial and pertinent Faulknerization in the first sentence, with the intention to cultivate a more apropos and salient reading experience for all Uncyclopedians who might be entreated to endeavor a viewing upon this entry when the fancy strikes and such an uncontrollable lust for content-free misinformation overwhelms the reader that only Sir Oscar Wilde himself, through his abundent and comprehensive acumen, and his quotings can satisfy the demon urge. |
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