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Captain Picard Is Aroused By This Article Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise (United Federation of Planets registration number NCC-1701D) finds the content of this article most satisfactory indeed. The gentle, flowing narrative prose contained within this article conjures memories of the smooth skin, supple thighs, and ratty knotted scarlet bush of Dr. Beverly Crusher. Which, if you're Captain Picard is quite a nice thing, I suppose. Speaking personally, that's one of the more revolting mental images of the day, but to each their own. |
Minitrue mark article doubleplusgoodthink. Miniluv make goodthink fullwise. |
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Why did you make this article? Don't you love me? |
Mwa ha ha ha ha!
This user wants to drink your blood!
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Minitrue mark article doubleplusgoodthink. Miniluv make goodthink fullwise. |
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Somebody set up us the bomb. For great justice take off every 'zig'. |

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![]() | This page is or discusses a loony and/or nutty conspiracy theory Uncyclopedia vehemently denies all knowledge and existence of this page. The black helicopters are not on their way. |
Avert thine eyes! |
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This article is insane. The article submitter may need psychotherapy, and as such, this article should be taken as gospel. You can help Uncyclopedia by restraining the article in a rubber room. |
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Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Anakin Skywalkeris really Darth Vader, the Ghostbusters have to cross the streams to destroy Gozer, Book dies and then Wash dies after the audience has been lulled into a false sense of security, Daisy runs over Myrtle, leading Wilson to kill Gatsby and then himself, Alex betrays everyone to get the Golden Sun, the introduction actually takes place after Joel Barish gets Clementine Kruczynski erased from his mind, Lowrie fulfills the wish list, but dies, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!! |
![]() | Warning: The above text may have contained spoilers What? Oh shit! I should have told you earlier. My bad. |
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Faulknerized!
For the sake of satire, comedy, wit, The Ha! Ha! Quaker, Kitten Huffers, and Sophia, this piece of Uncyclopedian literature, has undergone substantial and pertinent Faulknerization in the first sentence, with the intention to cultivate a more apropos and salient reading experience for all Uncyclopedians who might be entreated to endeavor a viewing upon this entry when the fancy strikes and such an uncontrollable lust for content-free misinformation overwhelms the reader that only Sir Oscar Wilde himself, through his abundent and comprehensive acumen, and his quotings can satisfy the demon urge. |
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