User:FreeMorpheme/archive

Well?

Bye Bye, Kanye...

I don't know if I'm authorised to award you this, but I'm going to anyway. Bloomin' good job zapping the crap Kanye West quotes.

[[User:|]] has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Jolly good show, chum. --Hindleyite | PL | CUN | Converse 10:38, 18 May 2006 (UTC)

Jerry's Final Thought

Okay i'll leave it. It just didn't seem to Jerry Springer to me... --Mrasdfghjkl 13:21, 21 May 2006 (UTC)

Nice one, I reckon it just sets the seal on the article - which is a lot better now all the references to 'goat-fucking' have gone. I'm going to keep a beady eye on all race related pages for signs of cuntism. FreeMorpheme 17:25, 22 May 2006 (UTC)

FCC: Fuckin Cunts Complainin--Mrasdfghjkl 23:46, 23 May 2006 (UTC)

WWJJD?

Hey FreeMorpheme... I just now saw your comment on the talk page of the above article and to answer the question posed, I slapped that tag on there in the spirit of the article itself. It was voted upon and the VFD tag was removed afterward, but I thought it funny to rewrite the tag using the same Joycean language and to place it there to add to the joke (being that not many people understand Joyce). Thanks for suggesting that it be featured, though I'm uncertain it would succeed in that particular endeavour, but I guess ya never know. I noticed that when it was VFD'ed that many came to its defense, which was heartwarming to say the least. And now another compliment from another Uncyclopedian whose work I admire? Must be my Unbirthday. Thanks! --Imrealized 06:36, 30 May 2006 (UTC)

Oops, I forgot to also thank you for eliminating that Kanye quote from The Dearth Star; I grappled with that quote for a bit before that, just to find you made the decision for me. You may have saved my brain. --Imrealized 06:38, 30 May 2006 (UTC)

Excellent. I thought perhaps it was a hangover from that trouble you had a little while ago when you self-huffed all your stuff. Too good to lose, and I'm glad all that seems to be behind you. I'd be happy to nominate that article if you'd like, I reckon it has a decent chance, if enough people get the joke. And I only fired past your page on the Kanye quest, so if your grappling leads you to decide to put it back, it should be safe. I know what it's like when someone messes with a project page. FreeMorpheme 11:43, 30 May 2006 (UTC)

It's all in the past now. Initially I was more than a little miffed with that whole ordeal but decided it was better to just point at it and laugh. Besides, being confused for an extremely literate and computer savvy person after having been frickin' around with the internets for a few weeks was a pretty nice boost to the old ego, and perhaps more valuable than any "n00b Badge of Bore-age", once I was able to see it from that perspective. Ultimately, it was the really cool people whose encouragement was priceless, not in a American Express way, but in a very real, non-monetary way. So yeah, no hangover. That Kanye quote? It's better off gone. I was hesitant to huff it only because it wasn't the worst of the offenders, but after you got rid of it I felt that the article looks better without it as it was mediocre at best. Touch the Ralph Kramden quote and I'll, well... I'll put it right back (I'm not great at threats, I suppose). Not being one to go in for shameless self-promotion (at least not too much of it), I'm not a big self-nominator, nor will I tell you I'd like you to nominate WWJJD?, but I am not against seeing how it will perform so I won't tell you not to nominate it either (*hint hint*). I can't say I haven't been curious to see if it could make the jump to front page speed, so do what thou whilt and all that. Speaking of nominations (and this is in no way a tit-for-tat, quid pro quo thing) how would you feel about a VFP on the multi-leveled humour that is your 9-11 image? I was really taken with it and feel the funny works really well, but only hesitated because I can see some people taking issue with it or something and because the last thing I nommed for Featured Picture was my only self-nomination, which was removed from VFP in record time with, I think, 5 votes against and no fors. For some reason people didn't want to see a small songbird with gigantic testicles on the front page... oh well. So yeah, let me know. --Imrealized 23:27, 30 May 2006 (UTC)

Sounds good. What's the worst that could happen, apart from everyone pointing and laughing and reducing me to a whimpering husk, right? FreeMorpheme 17:48, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

Could I ask everyone who is lining up to point and laugh to please form an orderly queue. Thank you. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Hey, can just anyone walk in here? FreeMorpheme 18:35, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

Looks like it (Hi Mhaille). Well, thanks for the nomination... let's see how old Dubliner holds up. I nommed 9-Eleven, but you may want to check out the caption and make sure it is to your liking (I think I just copied the first line of the article or something). BTW, I was checking out Mensa - I like it already. Truly refulgent! --Imrealized 20:11, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

Thanks For Backup

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Hey, thanks for backing me up at VFH. I'm actually surprised that its gotten such good votes. -- Kaizer the Bjorn takkun (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 12:32, 1 June 2006 (UTC)

It's a fine article, surfs just the right line of humour, doesn't take it too far, has pictures, maintains a consistent tone... what's not to like? FreeMorpheme 23:00, 1 June 2006 (UTC)

Thanks from me, too.

...for your vote on Embracing Mediocrity. The title has been with me for some time now, along with the seed of the idea. I finally decided last week to sit down and try to hammer it out. From the positive response, it seems like I got it right. :) ~ T. (talk) 04:32, 2 June 2006 (UTC)

Writing an article should be reward enough for someone, that's what they say. Of coure this is rubbish. Writing a featured article is reward enough. And that one deserved it, easy to see. Even Ghelae didn't go against it (!) FreeMorpheme 14:45, 2 June 2006 (UTC)

<Terry-Thomas Style>Why, Hello Thar.....</Terry-Thomas Style>

Hey FreeMorpheme, are you a Brit? Saw your use of the word "div" which I think is only native to these shores...... Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Strike a light guv'ner I certainly am, what ho pip pip. I thought you knew, Sir Mhaille, so I did. Now you should be movin' on, your 'onour, this ain't no place for a gent'man like your good self, oh no colour me pink it ain't. FreeMorfeme 19:40, 8 June 2006 (UTC)

Reward Enough For Me

First off, congratulations on your featured image, Sir FreeMorpheme. Funny that an image by a Brit was almost considered "too American" by people who vote against things for being "too American". Reading your comments above, normally I'd agree that an article just isn't an article until a popular consensus has deemed it mainpage-worthy, which is why I generally whore myself out by coddling n00bs, placing every article I write on Pee Review complete with whiny pleas for help, voting "for" other articles that are clearly inferior in hopes of "buying votes", completely ignoring my wife and kids to spend an ungodly amount of time here and chronic self-nomification. But, in the case of WWJJD?, I must say that seeing the "againsts" roll in (even by people who had referred to it as "cerebral" in the past, hmm...) was as rewarding as that time it was on VFD and people said it should be huffed because of the mess it is. Ha! No, for me it's reward enough to know that those familiar with Finnegans Wake seem to find it funny. And I'd rather procure one educated laugh over an ignorant symphony. Thanks for making both possible. --Immy 10:40, 10 June 2006 (UTC)

I'm sorry it didn't make it, it was obviously over the heads of most people. Keep plugging away at it. And don't you have to be a Knight to be a 'sir'? FreeMorpheme 18:08, 10 June 2006 (UTC)

Nope, check out Uncyclopedia:Awards,_Decorations_and_Honours under Commander. You are officially Sir FreeMorpheme (it's up to you if you want to add it or not). I'm happy with WWJJD? being over people's heads; if I changed it to be more accessible (hence, mainpage-worthy) that would seriously compromise the funny, in my opinion. The only thing I've been contemplating on doing is expanding it further, just to parody the length of Finnegans Wake, probably making it even less accessible. Sounds like a good idea to me. And hey, Strip club? Another great idea. I love the Bridget Riley reference (great pic, too), though you'll probably have the same going-over-their-heads problem with that one. But for those familiar with her work, it's comedy gold. --Immy 19:16, 10 June 2006 (UTC)

Islam

Thanks for the cleanup there - nice work. Glad that there's someone with some work ethic here. Sir Famine, Gun ♣ Petition » 00:18, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

No problem. I've been keeping an eye on it for months, it's a magnet for dickheads, same as Black People. I'll report the scamps to you if you like for some purifying flame. FreeMorpheme 11:23, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

If it's major, add them to the Ban Patrol and the first available admin will show them the door. As for the minor crappy edits, keep up the good revert work. The above two arciels are ones I also keep an eye on, for the same reasons. Of course, I keep an eye on like 1000 articles, so I often don't catch the minor bad edits. Thanks again for the continued tweaking and reverting.

There is an IP block which continues to mess with Islam and related articles - along the lines of 84.146.2xx.xxx. If you see an IP like that editing Islam again, drop me a note on my talk page. I've blocked 3 different IPs like that for adding the same stuff to these articles, and I'll consider a range ban if it keeps happening too often. Sir Famine, Gun ♣ Petition » 16:27, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

Poo Lit Surprise

I was just lurking about that Poo Lit place and saw that you have placed Strip club in the competition. Problem is, I think that Poo Lit is only for new submissions (articles that have not yet been in the main space realm). I could be wrong on that but I think someone else already had their article pulled for the same reason and also if you see comments here right at the top under Category: Best Rewrite, it sounds as if it's a no-no (though that is from the last Poo Lit so maybe things have changed). Maybe check into that — I figured it's better you find out sooner than later so that if Strip club isn't allowed you have time to whip up something else. Well, good luck. -- Imrealized ...hmm? 05:39, 3 August 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, I did consider that, but it seemed a bit ambiguous so I thought I'd bung it in anyway. I can always take it off the main space I suppose. FreeMorpheme 09:29, 3 August 2006 (UTC)

There you go. It's not like anyone else has edited it since I made it, it's entirely my own stuff, so I think it's perfectly ligit. FreeMorpheme 09:35, 3 August 2006 (UTC) 20:30, 22 August 2006 (UTC)

UnNews and you!

I don't have any opinion on the UK vs US techniques of numbing the minds of the masses with newscasts. In truth, I probably see more similarity than differences. However, I avoid what passes for news on more popular television, and instead, I mostly listen to National Public Radio here in the US, and they do two BBC news hours every day, so I catch those too. Having said this, I live in a cave and don't listen to the news more than a couple or three times a week.

Now, about audios: I welcome others doing audios, absolutely! In fact, I sort of feel like a ball hog (I don't know if y'all say ball hog in the UK) because I've done the majority of these. I'm thinking I should do a HowTo:Audio UnNews. Lacking this, the first question is, are you already set up to record your voice onto your computer's hard drive? That's a pretty general question, but we have to start someplace.

I use Sonar (recording studio program) and have a track with the UnNews theme in a template, and record my audio on a second track, fudge around a bit with the file, and convert it to mp3 for upload. I then do a bunch of other crap to upload the mp3, put a template pointing to the sound file on the article's page, add it to the list of audios on the main UnNews page, add some data to an XML file to upload for the podcast, then usually have a cigarette.

The minimum you would have to do is create and upload an mp3 of you reading an article. I can and usually do take care of the other stuff.

Let's start with how much of this you've understood so far, and I'll fill in the blanks as we go along the merry road to UnNews audio podcast fame and fortune. I'd be delighted to have some done across the Pond for variety in accents. Thanks for your interest, get back to me on this page so we can keep the thread coherent. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:44, 11 September 2006 (UTC)

Well most of that I understand, though I'm more of an 'end user' when it comes to audio, so while I'm familiar with different file types etc I've never had the cause to actually record anything. I have a microphone, although finding it will involve trawling around underneath my desk which is something I have been putting off for a long time for a number of excellent reasons. Is there any audio shareware you know of? I was thinking about a BBC Radio 4 news style, with just the pips and me trying to intone in a suitably grave voice, which will be difficult given the vocal chords God saw fit to dish me out with. Still, it's got to be worth a try, right? 17:12, 11 September 2006 (UTC)

I understand Audacity is a great piece of freeware. User:Olipro swears by it. Question: do you IRC? and if so, what hours GMT? Here's a link for it, so you can check it out. [1]

Keep me posted. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:19, 12 September 2006 (UTC)

That was just the thing, I am now creating mp3s with a gay abandon. I don't IRC much, so only use the cgi client when I do. You must be between four and eight hours behind me, depending on where you live, so one of us would have to stay up pretty late to chat. I'm on the PC all day this week, though, from 0830 to 0000 GMT which gives a fair amount of scope. Leave me a message here and I'll come and join. 08:17, 12 September 2006 (UTC)

I'm 5 hours behind GMT, and I show up in IRC almost every day at some point, between 11:00AM and 2:00AM GMT. I'm logging on now. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:49, 12 September 2006 (UTC)

Why don't you upload something you're reading for audio to commons and leave a link here? I'll see what I can do with it. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:40, 12 September 2006 (UTC)

11am and 2am leaves a lot of scope. Did you mean 2300 to 0200? But yeah, I'll leave something around somewhere. I'm quite drunk right now so it might be a challenge, but I like to live on the edge. That's me. The edge-liver. 23:04, 12 September 2006 (UTC)

I have put one here. Hopefully that's what you meant, it does seem to think it's a picture.

It's perfect. Wikia, and others, call audio files "images", and they are in the sense that any data file is an image in older CS jargon, I reckon. Anyway, I'm having a bad day, but I don't want you to think I blew you off. I'll have more to say later. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:55, 13 September 2006 (UTC)

No problem. I see now the audio help page in Unnews, which I could have looked at earlier, but there you go. Always good to get the human touch. 22:12, 13 September 2006 (UTC)

I made one with your file. It's in the UnMedia list on the Main page or http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Image:UnNews_Outrage_at_new_British_film_Brit_version.MP3

How very exciting. So when I see one to do, what should I do with it? For instance I did this one. 17:37, 15 September 2006 (UTC)

Sorry I've forgotten about you, I'm still not feeling well. Luckily you've caught me. Can you meet me in irc? Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 23:43, 15 September 2006 (UTC)

Yes 23:43, 15 September 2006 (UTC)

END OF THREAD, I PROMISE!!! I thought you'd like to know you're on the podcast and en route to fame and... well fame, maybe. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:38, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

UnNews:The Pope annoys everyone and nearly starts a war

Here's a story which could use your delicate UK touch, if you'd like to read it. I'll give you a while to read this message, but after today, all bets are off for who does it. I hope it's you. Thanks for your support. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:45, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

Yeah I'll do it tomorrow - I think perhaps a Dutch Pope this time... 23:51, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

There we go. 23:13, 17 September 2006 (UTC)

Fantastic. I'm chuffed. It's like as if what I did was a charcoal drawing which was then put inside this big frame and polished. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 03:49, 18 September 2006 (UTC)

Smashing job! Nice touch with the use of different voices and accents. It's brilliant, getting the "actual" voices of those quoted. Thank you so much! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:05, 18 September 2006 (UTC)

4 Bable Box

nice (althought that comment was a little Radio 3) --The Right Honourable Maj Sir Elvis UmP KUN FIC MDA VFH Bur. CM and bars UGM F@H (Petition) 15:56, 18 September 2006 (UTC)

Elvis, you're back! Which comment was Radio 3? The worth it bit, or the not paying it bit? 17:35, 18 September 2006 (UTC)

Dan futterman

I noticed that you tagged my DF article. I beg of you, give it time. I plan on expanding it noticeably- I have, in fact, even started already.

Cheers ~~

Yeah, no worries. The NRV gives 7 days. Articles have to be tagged as they are created or they slip past and never get seen again, that's why lots of people make an article in their own namespace then move it across later. Good luck with it. 22:26, 19 September 2006 (UTC)

HowTo:Skip School

Wow... Thanks for voting for my article on VFH. Finally, my lack of volunteer work, failure to socialize outside of the interweb, and ugliness have paid off. Again, thanks! -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 06:12, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

That image again

Hey, have you got the sources for the hat and scarf you added to the TsarWars image? I want to have another go at getting it right. Thanks -- sannse (talk) 08:54, 30 September 2006 (UTC) I tried emailing you the .psd, but just got error messages. Do you have a mailbox limit? 15:21, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

'UnNews: all the news not fit to suppress'

This is amusing, like the article UnNews:OGG approval ratings fall once again having both an mp3 and an ogg file. Why don't you stick it up the Forum:Village_Dump and see what sort of responses you get? Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:27, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Your table

1. Set out a layer of newspapers to protect the work area. Make sure the areais well-ventilated. 2. Set the room temperature between 70 and 75 degrees F, which helps the varnish dry quicker without causing air bubbles and streaking. 3. Gather your disposable foam brushes, clean rags, steel wool pads and mineral spirits so that they are nearby when needed. 4. Strip any pre-existing finishes with a paint stripper. Wear gloves and a face mask while you work. 5. Clean the wood to be treated with a steel wool pad dipped in about 1 c. mineral spirits mixed with 2 tsp. linseed oil. 6. Use a clean rag to dry the wood. 7. Pour enough varnish into a separate container to do the first coat, and dilute it with 20 percent mineral spirits (one part mineral spirits to four parts varnish). This coat seals the wood. (Read the label before use and follow the manufacturer's warnings and suggestions carefully.) 8. Use the foam brush to apply this diluted varnish into the wood. Work with the grain. 9. Let that coat dry at least 6 hours, but not more than 20. 10. Apply the second coat (nondiluted) with a new foam brush. 11. Put on up to five coats, depending on how much wear you anticipate the surface to receive. Use a new brush for each coat. 12. Dispose of rags, brushes and remaining stripper as advised by the stripper's manufacturer.

Thanks, Csm.grfD (Native American laughing) 00:25, 15 October 2006 (UTC)

Ban Patrol

A) Sign your posts.

B) Having already typed {{User}}, why not click the "lst" part o the block text to see if the person has already been banned? If they have, no sense in listing them on the Ban Patrol in the first place. "Show Preview" works well for this purpose.

Since you missed on both of these counts, I took the liberty of whacking your poor ban patrol submission. While we do appreciate you helping out, we'd rather see actual problems listed there. Thanks for playing, and better luck next time! Sir Famine, Gun ♣ Petition » 19:59, 15 October 2006 (UTC)

HowTo:Convince People You're a Heterosexual Male

Thanks for your vote!

Berogen has awarded you the Neat Order of the Closet for voting For HowTo:Convince People You're a Heterosexual Male Wear It With Pride!TM You big homo.