My Epithet, courtesy of IRC:
<Keitei> BOB3 IS A GNOME. THE BOBGNOME! <Volte`> the gnob? Bob3 gets an early start on the tequila <Keitei> yes!
Where the heck am I?
I've been around, round round get around, I get around, wa whaoo. But I just saw something that reminded me that I really, really should spend more time on Uncyclopedia. Exhibit A: Wikipedia Category: Fictional balls. When you can't tell the difference, it's time to choose Uncyclopedia.
I'm way too lazy to scroll down to my lazy link list, so I'm putting it right here at the top, so deal. These links are particularly useful for those lucky bastards to whom Sophia has awarded the Uncyclopedian License to Kill.
They did WHAT?
They did it. They really did it. I am now the master of all I survey. I have taken the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil, and I have baked it into a delicious apple pie. I have seen the Promised Land, and made plans to lay it waste. I have been taken to the mountain, shown all the kingdoms of Earth, and said, "Where do I sign?"
n00bs BEWARE, for I have added the QVFD page to my daily bookmarks. Can I control my desire to KILL? Oh, that I could, but alas, you are the weakest link... goodbye!
By the way, I did finally get around to reading the Beginner's Guide to Being an Uncyclopedian, aka BGBU. After I got Admin status. Go figure.
See also: Funny Crap from IRC
I'm even more an IRC n00b than I am a wiki n00b. One reason for staying away from IRC is the fact that I'll never be able to stop talking once I start. But for the good of Sophia, I'm starting to hang around the #Uncyclopedia channel. I've registered my nick, so you'll find me as either BobBobBob_ (with the skid mark) or Bob3.
If someone else pretends to be me, using some other name not listed here, it's not me! Or maybe it is me, but I've had too much tequila to remember the damned username and/or password. But if I'm sober, you can verify that it's me by entering the following IRC command and looking for one or both of the highlighted bits result:
/whois Bob3 *** Bob3 [n=a1234a5e@pdpc/supporter/student/Bob3]: [a1234a5e] http://irc.wikicities.com *** channels: #uncyclopedia *** server: calvino.freenode.net [Milan, IT] *** Bob3 is identified to services *** idle: 5 signon: Tue Nov 15 21:57:09 2005 *** End of /WHOIS list.
The "is identified to services" note indicates that I used
msg nickserv identify to officially log in "Bob3". Nobody but me *should* know my password, but it's entirely possible that my friend Jose Cuervo might some day send my password to the world instead of to nickserv.
The "pdpc/supporter/student/Bob3" indicates that I contributed a token amount of ca$h to freenode.net, which provides the IRC server used by #Uncyclopedia -- or something like that. It seemed geeky, so I made a donation. I'm such a softie.
Even with all that, a determined hacker could probably pretend to be me, even without Mr. Cuervo's help. Just take anything on IRC with a grain of salt and you should be fine. YMMV.
By the way, someone on another channel already has BobBobBob (without the skid mark), so I have to wait until they die (or otherwise lose interest), plus another 60 days. They were probably pretty upset when I started using their nick.
Now that the n00bs depend on my vast store of experien... ah... ha... HAHAHAHAHAH! Oh, sorry, lost my composure there. Let me start over.
The truth is, I don't know any more about how this crazy thing runs than anyone else. I just typed enough randomness to get added to the admin list, probably during someone's late-night tequila binge. Since I can't remember what I said from one day to the next, I've established a store of stock responses to typical Admin headaches, from simple mistakes to deliberate sabotage. You will find these boilerplate replies to be singularly uninformative, but they're the best I got, bub.
Cancelled due to lack of interest, but still available here
Uncyclopedia embedded in my psyche
Note: this really happened. When my alarm went off this morning, I Wikified it. Not particularly well, mind you, but it was 4:45 in the morning:
- [[Alarm Clock]] [[Device which disrupts productive sleep time]]
And I thought it was bad before, when composing my thoughts involved putting [[brackets]] around important words. Strangely, though, the "other" well-known wiki never had such an effect on me. It must be the potatoes, or perhaps Sophia. --BobBobBob 15:05, 16 Sep 2005 (UTC)
AKA: "Come watch me play
with by myself in the corner!"
BobBobBob is hereby awarded for extreme diligence in the deletion of crap. Fear them.
Apparently, simply by taking the momentous step of registering a nick, I have earned the rank of Uncyclopedic nobility:
This person has successfully registered on Uncyclopedia.
They should be proud of themselves for making such a smart move.
However, I have committed my life and my talents to the Third Estate, and can not in good faith accept the knighthood. I must be true to my roots. My apologies to Sophia; although I'll certainly accept a wet kiss (or even a nice platonic hug) in lieu of the traditional slap-on-the-shoulder with-a-sharp-object usually associated with the beknighting process. Ouch.
|Noob of the Moment October 2005|
What do you call a Noob of the Month with no arms or legs? BobBobBob! Being a man of mathematical bent, Bob3 spends his time writing, cleaning up cruft, and solving quadratic expressions using only his mind and a calculator. He loves all the creatures of the forest.
Awarded by Splaka, 23:50, 16 Dec 2005 (UTC)
Bricks through the window
This is, without a doubt, the funniest damned thing I've ever seen. If you've read the IRC log of the bizarre conversation about who should (and shouldn't) be admin, then you've *got* to see the "campaign ads" produced by User:General Specific. Warning: he knows how to sling the mud! I've put them on separate pages because they're huge animated .gif files:
By the way, the results of the voting, or whatever it is you do to get Ultimate Power in an oligarchy like Uncyclopedia, can be found at Uncyclopedia:VFS. Also, a big Admin hug for User:Todd Lyons for finding these gems.
This one was bestowed upon me at the dawn of a new year: 23:59, 31 Dec 2005. Though I'm not sure why. Why? Why not, I guess.
Member of the Thriceing
Oh, yeah. This one's a keeper.