Homestar Runner Wiki
HRWiki (Shortened as the Homestar Runner Wiki) is a fan encyclopedia supposedly founded by The Brothers Chaps (Malik and Marquez Chapman) in 2002 to help expand the influence of their mind-altering web-cartoon, Homestar Runner. By allowing "users" to "edit" data about the politically subversive, occasionally funny "Flash" cartoon, the Brothers Chaps have enlisted — free of charge — a legion of researchers, typists, programmers, fact-finders, fact-checkers, check-finders, and find-checkers to their sexually-animated cause.
Once users "log in" to the HRWiki, as the saying goes, "you can never leave." Or, "in space, no one can hear you scream." No, that was Alien with Sigourney Weaver. Maybe there is no saying — Jumping Mohammed on a trampoline, I just can't say, and Terry the short-sighted research assistant is out today with the what I can only hope isn't the avian flu! Oh, Terry, why did you have to eat that raw waterfowl you got FedEx'd from Laos? What am I ever going to do without Terry? What will become of this article? What will become of Uncyclopedia!?!?
Nevermind.
Purpose of HRWiki[edit | edit source]
As previously stated, HRWiki is the brainchild of the Brothers Chaps. Although Malik is credited with designing the site, Marquez is the one who regulates the content and activity, ensuring "nothing goes wrong" because he "knows what's best." Marquez spends upwards of twelve hours a day (beginning at 6:00AM ET) drinking no less than seventeen cans of Diet Dr Pepper and making sure the content of HRWiki fits the ultimate vision of the Brothers Chaps.
Their ultimate vision is two-fold:
- 1.) to make "Homestar Runner" a bigger household name than "Snarf"1
- 2.) to one day create a cartoon over ten minutes in length, and then have a legion of hapless HRWiki users create a complete transcript, subtitles in 12 different languages (including Klingon, Elvish and Hebrew), list of facts, references, DVD Commentary, and trivia in under ten minutes.
- 3.) To make information of fucking EVERYTHING OUT OF THE CARTOONS.
HRWiki Users[edit | edit source]
“All users are equal. But some users are more equal than others.”
Much like any wiki, HRWiki is no different. It is a wiki. And, as a wiki, it has users. Some of these users have even dodged being banned for life. These are those types of users listed in various (four) castes (classes) (classpects) that will be explained clearly for your information.
Sysops[edit | edit source]
“DaAaAaAaAaAaAh allegiance is sworn and next three goes to Pardman and his 10 brothers! Don't look now! I'm just a friendly reminder!”
25% of HRWiki users are sysops who are numbering in the hundreds. Sysops at HRWiki are all great guys and gals. All of 'em. They do good things, real good things. They keep things regulated there, they do. They certainly do. Lots of good ideas, those sysops. Good ideas, do good things. Nothing bad to say about them. not one thing. Not...hey, what the fuck?! I've been banned from HRWiki! But I didn't say anything negative! I'm not even at HRWiki! *sniff* Guess I'll have to have a good cry over a warm glass of Sudzu. Oh wait, that's not how to spell suudsu. Get me a fact-checker, post-haste!
Normal Users[edit | edit source]
“User Jellote really sucks!”
75% of HRWiki users fall into this category. Normal users is somewhat of a misnomer, since these are people who voluntarily choose to document a website. Like, not a movie, or a celebrity, or a television show, or a book. Like, holy-crap-it's-all-over-the-world-in-this-bitch a website. Normal HRWiki users are all "gnomes" and aspire one day to be sysops, which they will never be. These folks actually know what The Cheat is saying and delight in organizing, re-organizing, and re-re-organizing things until they are "just right" and then re-organizing them again.
Users with the Mentality of 13 Year-Olds[edit | edit source]
These users comprise 45% of HRWiki users. Users with the Mentality of 13 Year-Olds - or UM13s - may not actually be 13, but you'd never know the difference. Such users have their own website, blog, and use HRWiki while attending public school or community college. Possessing thin skin, UM13s are quick to anger and highly resistant to logic and regulation. They also consider the work of Adam Sandler to be the funniest thing since Andrew Dice Clay.
Vandals[edit | edit source]
“I'm banned for life? But all I did was blank 25 pages in three minutes, put HOMESTAR IS GAY on every page involving Homestar, and delete the main page!”
“That's nothing! I got banned for life and all I did was forget to sign a post on a talk page!”
Vandals constitute between 33% and 66% of the remaining users at HRWiki. Despite the efforts of the sysops to defeat the vandals, the vandals always find a way to maliciously edit easily corrected source code, often rendering HRWiki temporarily imperfect for seconds on end. Favorite vandal tactics are page blanking (where they momentarily erase a page), inserting various profanities (which causes the well-heeled HR users' monocles to fall out) and variations of "(insert HR character name here) IS GAY."
Example of usual vandal work:[edit | edit source]
Original page: Homestar runner is a strange character with no arms and legs. he seems to...
Vandal page: BULLSHIT MOTHER FUCKER THIS GUY FUCKING SUCK POOP LOL!! I! 11! YOUR MOM SUCKS BALLS!!!
THIS PORTION OF UNCYCLOPEDIA IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY HRWIKI: "WE'RE THE WIKI ABOUT HOMESTAR"[edit | edit source]
HRWiki is a fun way for Homestar Runner fans to get together and talk about all things Homestar Runner! Or, a fun way for Homestar Runner fans to come together and argue with each other about all things Homestar Runner! Or, a place for Homestar Runner fans with a limited understanding of wiki etiquette and rudimentary English skills to come together and engage in petty arguments, heated name calling, and pointless flamewars with one another in the name of Homestar Runner! So, come on down and see what we're all about - and make sure to spend, spend spend at the H*R On-line Store!
Footnotes[edit | edit source]
1 - Snarf - I don't what the hell he was, but he was friends with Lion-o. Who's Lion-O, you ask? Why don't you search it? You're on a wiki on the Internet, are you not?