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- 1812 - Lord Byron writes a poem about the coy and inviting aroma of his own flatulence.
- 1860 - Abraham Lincoln makes a speech so angry and divisive it causes the Civil War, shame on you Mr. Lincoln.
- 1870 - The emperor of Japan spills marinara sauce on a white sheet, has a great idea for his country's flag.
- 1972 -
- 1991 - George H.W. Bush takes over Iraq, as a gift to his son and future funnyman president, George W.
- 2007 - The Shanghai Stock Exchange falls 9% in one day, the economy might have been ruined were it not for the immortal ghost of Mao Tse-Tung.
- 2015 - Russian politician Boris Nemtsov dies after shooting himself in the back twenty-three times and stuffing himself inside a concrete-filled duffel bag.