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- 1792 - Frenchmen reading Thomas Paine's Rights of Man take lessons to heart by beheading people they disagree with.
- 1861 - American Civil War (Pictured) begins with argument over whether black people should be owned and mistreated or just kicked around and mistreated.
- 1991 - Yakov Smirnoff celebrates the dissolution of the Soviet Union by jumping off a cliff.
- 1950 - First time Nineteen Eighty-Four is used in a poorly conceived political metaphor.
- 1989 - Fisher Price wins contract to supply China with toy tanks to run over protesters.
- 2000 - Dick Cheney has sex with a horse, and centaurs are born.
- 2006 - The Republican Party legalizes the hunting of humans, to control overpopulation.
- 2010 - The War on Terror is re-named the War on people looking at you funny.