Confucius Say: Me Love You Really Long Time

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Potatohead indigo.png
Nominated Article

This article has been nominated for highlighting on the front page—you can vote for it or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH. Please see this article's entry.


Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Hooker?
Me love you long time... really long time.

I am Confucius. Master of philosopher, keeper of highest wisdom, solver of great riddles. I know that we not know if tree falls in forest he make noise. I know we not know sound of one hand making clap. Me know why raven like writing desk. I give wise counsel; I head and I forget. Me see and remember. I do and understand. And me love you really long time.

Long Time[edit]

I understand. You not convinced. You not understand why great mind of time speak broken English. But I speak truth. I know many wise saying.

Nature shows us many thing. Learn from nature. Nature will love. Me love you long time.

And me know love. Before you begin on journey of revenge, dig two graves. Me know beauty; everything has ten thousand beauty but not everyone see the beauty of the sun. Me know ignorance; ignorance is the night of the mind, night without moon and losing big dipper. Me know love wider than Yangtze River, higher than cumulus clouds, yellower than Yellow River. Me know love. And me love you really long time.

Long, Long Time[edit]

Ten dollah make me love you long time. Twenty dollar and I love you very, very long time. Five minute at least. Longer than longest time. It not matter how slowly you go, so long as you know heavenly principles. Confucius holds faithfulness and sincerity as first principle. And me sincerely love you long, long time. Best thirty dollar you spend.

Staying Power of Mighty Elephant[edit]

Truer words were never spoken.

Doubt me yet? I practice art of Zen. My own bed is pebble Zen garden. I wrap you in silk sheets like vietnam spring roll. I am ancient mighty bedroom warrior - I forge tantric energy with the sacred blue medicine and all night, every night for long, too too long. Crisis is opportunity, and when my crisis about to come, me think of your grandmother in bottom fun time and I last two more hours at least. I trained with army of leather bound samurai slave in basement, make me master of art of hold back climax. You can ask me about how long, the answer: really, really, really long. Pinky swear.

Confucius Say, Better than man paradise[edit]

No, wait! You not go to place of heavenly sticks. Better here. Me love you long time here. You no need slave in restraint for satisfaction. I give you golden moon package. Five dolla discount. You no go to street corner find comfort favour darling, my house warm, very warm. I am better than bathhouse. I take out my fake teeth, like empty pearl oyster. Confucius better than lucky chicken threesome and stronger than virile dragon. You enjoy more than sacred panda job. So long time. Stay with me. So very very very long. Confucius never say more. Pay first, then my love long time is for you, really only for you for very, very, long, long time.

See Also[edit]