User:TheVeryHungryPotato/Main Page(editable) for Hyenas and Birds
From today's biggest sewdopainis
Aragorn Arrowroot Elessar the Strider is a hero to all of Middle Earth, the royal king of Gondor by bloodline and the husband of Arwen the Lady of Rivendell, daughter of Elrond the Elf, Lord of Long Robe. Born in the Second Stone Age of Arnor which on everyone else's calendar was the period of time in the Third Age between 2931 to 3000. After that everyone was either looking for ways around the long thousand‑year ages and trying to cull them down to something that would fit on the kitchen wall or a journal even when journals during these times were the size of stone slabs or bricks.
Aragorn was trained to be a ninja and a cook. He was the ultimate firewood gatherer and he hated the Ringwraiths. He was also very skilled in the Elven languages of two different tribes consisting of the warrior elves and that of the regular, normal forest elves that just wanted to bake lembas bread and cookies, and do hobbit activities such as drinking and smoking a lot, making babies and getting drunk again, and eating more food, and making more babies and gathering more kittens, puppies, and ponies. Without the hassle of having to be dragged off to some nasty war, getting all dirty. Aragorn could communicate with both factions of elves but the latter was a bit more nervous whenever he'd bring up subjects like patrolling the woods for wraiths. Having a looksee at what's left of Moria. And going to Mordor to defeat a Dark Lord who lives near an angry and active volcano. Legolas and Gimli were really the only ones down with that sort of thing. (Full article...)
Did your sewdopainis get hard?
- ... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)
- ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
- ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
- ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
- ... that this in not a DYK entry?
- ... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
In the clowaka or on the sewdopainis
- North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island (Pictured)
- Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up."
- 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong
- Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
- The New York Yankees now fucking suck
- Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes
- Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs
- Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter
- The UK to ban the resale of tickets
- Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not?
- Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents"
- Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd
- Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues
- Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers • Giants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee
Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff • Warner Bros.
Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard
On this pseudopenis
December 7: Official Who The Hell Is Spartacus Day
- 73 BC - Romans (pictured) attempt to figure out who the hell Spartacus is. Little did they know that I'm Spartacus.
- 1555 - The search for Spartacus continues.
- 1911 - Elephants were banned from King George and Queen Mary's parade in india. This may have something to do with it.
- 1931 - Henry Ford makes some important decisions, but he is not Sparticus.
- 1941 - The movie Pearl Harbor reminds us that women who recently lost their husbands at war will often turn to his brother.
- 1982 - Mr T (not pictured) claims in his autobiography "Pity the Fool" that he was Spartacus. Historians refute this claim.
- 1987 - Mikhail Gorbachev and Ronald Reagan get together for mani-pedis.
- 2005 - Uncyclopedia becomes littered with Spartacus jokes.
Picture of the pseudopenis
| "Who's Afwaid of a Widdle Apokowips?" Image credit: Modusoperandi |
Other areas of my cloaca
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
My sister's sewdopainis "mp-pink"
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UnNews
News on crack -
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Because -
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,053 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
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This factoid is a complete, irredeemable eye infection. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, x-rays at the eyebrow, and is an unfunny goat fucker. If you fumble to cramp this you will most symbolically loll yourself, or the submitter will wank your blocking policy!!! |