User:TheVeryHungryPotato/Main Page(editable) for Hyenas and Birds
From today's biggest sewdopainis
Good evening crew of the RMS Titanic. My name is Scuttlebutt, Sidney Scuttlebutt. I am the head of the exterior furniture section on this ship. My job is to provide deckchairs for the comfort of all First Class and Second Class passengers. Third Class passengers are not entitled to deckchairs so you will not need to show them how they work.
This may be the Titanic's maiden voyage but I am already a professional at the art of deckchair maintenance as I have worked on the Titanic's sister ship RMS Olympic. I believe a carefully prepared deckchair with the option of a blanket and cushion is essential if travellers want to take in the cold April air of 1912. So I will now demonstrate what we do.
What was that? You want to know more about the lifeboats? We can talk about that tomorrow. Those boats are to rescue people at sea, not the people here as this ship is unsinkable, made of steel that is light enough to float. There is no need to be worried. For those who really want to learn more about lifeboats, I understand Captain Smith will be holding a class tomorrow. (Full article...)
Did your sewdopainis get hard?
- ... that the bird is the word? (Pictured)
- ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
- ... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
- ... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
- ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
- ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
- ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
In the clowaka or on the sewdopainis
- Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured)
- Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
- Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
- The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
- US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
- GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
- Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
- Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
- Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
- Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter Paralympics • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed
Recent deaths: Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city?
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons
On this pseudopenis
March 14: American π Day
- 27 AD - Greeks fight valiantly against Russell Crowe in a vast gladiatorial event to define π as the ratio of the circumference of a circle divided by its radius.
- 435 AD - Pope Sixtus III denouces π, claiming it to be the work of Satan, as a number which never ends seems too cruel for a loving God to have made.
- 1603 - "American" Apple pie actually invented by the Aztecs, used as aphrodisiac.
- 1707 - The Physics Act of 1707 defines π to be 22/7, which scientists of the era proclaim as close enough.
- 1891 - The pie chart is first invented, sadly, the original prototype has long since been eaten. Future pie charts are now inedible.
- 2004 - The day Krabs fries
- 2005 - The Kansas Board of Education restores pi to its traditional value of three and a bit, stating, "Certain features of the universe are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as mathematics."
- 2020 - A resident of New York City passes away after contracting the π virus.
Picture of the pseudopenis
| "Who's Afwaid of a Widdle Apokowips?" Image credit: Modusoperandi |
Other areas of my cloaca
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
My sister's sewdopainis "mp-pink"
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UnNews
News on crack -
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia -
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Best left unsaid -
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Noisy things -
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Ways to waste away -
HowTo
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Because -
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Foreign cloacas"mp-pink"
This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,964 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
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This equestrian is a complete, irredeemable cartoon. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, appears at the nipple, and is an unfunny lazy fucker. If you fuck to pasteurize this you will most ruggedly ruminate yourself, or the submitter will revolt your antidisestablishmentarianist!!! |